[Report This]Date: June 11 2013 8:23 PM Title: Chapter 4
That soldier in Chapter 3 must have had a light saber lol
The context I think would feel less detached if it were mixed in with, or revisiting the action. Such as using the perspective of the fool-hardy news anchor, or an on-scene news chopper.
In general I like the additional dialogue accompanied by the change of perspective, but this chapter focuses mostly on the reiteration of events and characterization that were already well defined in previous chapters. Not that reiterating is always bad, but it does make for a dull focus.
Glad to see the updates, and well done capturing the tense mood portrayed in this chapter
Author's Response:
I think anyone that can break it down like that would probably crank out some pretty good material of their own. So where is it ;) Both responses are appreciated. And this one is spot on as well. Thanks.
Date: June 06 2013 6:45 PM Title: Chapter 1
If I could write, this is how I would do it. Good evil GTS stories are rare these days...hoping to see more of this.
Author's Response:
Thanks
[Report This]Date: May 30 2013 4:19 AM Title: Chapter 2
Amazing work on this story. I can say this is easily one of the best cruel stories I've ever read!
You have a unique writing style which made it that much more engaging to read.
Thanks for posting, I enjoyed this!