[Report This]Date: July 11 2014 7:51 PM Title: Chapter 1
Hey Cas, I thought I'd stop by and leave you a quick little review.
I'd like to say great story, you have very nature dialogue skills. Every snippet of conversation between the two girls was highly engaging. It was also quite natural sounding, not disconjointed like so many other works.
The only criticism I can think of is that in my opinion you didn't go to far into detail when it comes to the other senses. You have a lot of visual and olfactory descriptions, but not many tactile and auditory descriptions. again though, thats just my opinion.
Once again, great read. I liked how they just flushed him away like he was nothing, it really brought the whole 'arrogant cheerleader' persona to life.
Author's Response:
Interesting thought about the other sensations. I'll definitely try to be more expansive with my descriptions, which of course every writer can improve on.
And yeah, those cheerleaders are total bitches. Thanks for the review!
[Report This]Date: January 01 2014 11:41 AM Title: Chapter 1
I love this story (: its so simple that makes it perfect
Author's Response:
Thanks Chloe13! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
[Report This]Date: June 04 2013 2:38 AM Title: Chapter 1
Good read. Somewhat predictable, but as a brief erotic story it's solid.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review. It's nothing special, but it hopefully scratches the itch, if you've got an itch in that particularly spot.
[Report This]Date: April 14 2013 4:30 AM Title: Chapter 1
You are an amazing writer, I love your style of writing!. It's direct and erotic, that was without question one of the best foot "scenes" I have read on this site! thank and please continue contributing!!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! If you liked that foot scene, you should definitely read the work of Steph, both in the old archive and in the updated site. He's the best when it comes to that sort of thing.
[Report This]Date: April 12 2013 9:02 PM Title: Chapter 1
Good story line with lots of potential.
Told in a simple, crude manner.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you liked the story line. Unfortunately, the "potential" will go unfulfilled. This one is just a one-shot.
Point taken on the "simple, crude manner," and I appreciate your honesty. I find that my writing is utilitarian at best, but in my defense I had sort of aimed for this piece to be pure porn in nature. For that reason, I just went straight to the point with the graphic fetish material and didn't bother with such "unimportant" things as characterization, plots, metaphors, etc. Please let me know your thoughts on my long-term piece, "Perfect Dimension" a little while down the road. I intend for that to piece to be more erotica than straight porn, and I also hope for it to be quite lengthy as well, so there will hopefully be plenty of time to fill it out.
[Report This]Date: April 12 2013 8:25 PM Title: Chapter 1
Great story hope more like it are to come.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the compliment. Unfortunately this story is finished. However, I do intend to ramp up my writing for the forseeable future, so hopefully you'll see more of it.
[Report This]Date: April 12 2013 2:53 PM Title: Chapter 1
Wow. WOW! I... this...
I have no words for this. Except these.
More? Please? If you'd be so kind?
Author's Response:
Haha, I'm glad you liked it. Like I said above, this story is finished, but hopefully I'll keep writing.
[Report This]Date: April 12 2013 2:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
I liked the original pic when I first read it and I liked your story based on it. Toilet ending is the best. great work
Author's Response:
Thanks. darty is an amazing collager -- one of the best. And his captions are really good. I wonder if he'll ever think about writing.