[Report This]Date: September 10 2013 1:18 PM Title: Chapter 11
Be careful what you wish for, Gage!
[Report This]Date: September 10 2013 1:15 PM Title: Chapter 10
Good save, Gage. VERY good save! :-)
[Report This]Date: September 10 2013 1:02 PM Title: Chapter 7
Something tells me Charis and Gage are going to be sorry for accepting that offer.
[Report This]Date: September 10 2013 12:58 PM Title: Chapter 6
A witch who's a Lionel Ritchie fan? She must be using a "Commodore" computer systerm (lol!).
[Report This]Date: September 10 2013 12:55 PM Title: Chapter 5
Getting better!
[Report This]Date: September 10 2013 12:50 PM Title: Chapter 3
Lilith? As in, the mind-reading redhead from the Silver Age Teen Titans?
[Report This]Date: September 04 2013 2:25 AM Title: Chapter 1
Ah, I can imagine how being underaged would have a heavier impact and possibly facilitate stronger emotional reactions within the story. Personally I think it does fit better. I really don't see the issue with it and wouldn't have thought that one would have come up. Certainly nothing to be embarrassed about.
If I'm not mistaken the story began rated R and moved on to X, so I'm disappointed that an adult would be so offended by something only subtly hinting at a more contraversial subject. He didn't trick anybody. It's called a plot twist. An extremely common part of most good, well thought-out stories. And like most good, well-thought out stories, this one also has a plot twist.
To be blunt, one of the only things that offends me are people who are easily offended-- since they are the ones that tend to ruin things for the majority of others.
(pardon the side-track)
As one of my favorite stories by far I'll definately see this one through till the end. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review, soniti54. I'm glad you're staying with me. I think we're at about the halfway point, so you'll be getting plenty more of Gage, Charis, and Rima!
[Report This]Date: September 03 2013 6:27 AM Title: Chapter 1
14 huh? Get ready for a rough ride Casanova. You're gonna be raked over the coals for this one. Frankly the age thing doesn't bother me, unless an ACTUAL child was harmed in the making of this story or as a result of it. Its the drama that this creates for the characters that makes this a good plot device. I am a little disapointed that this will most likely mean no romance among the characters, unless they all decide to stay in the game forever or they wait have to wait 4 years for Gage to grow up. Poor Charis, err Haley. I'll keep reading to see how this turns out.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review, riczar. I indeed got "raked" a fair amount, and deservedly so, but hopefully I was able to make things at least a little right. I had to redact the plot twice, but the good news for you is that with the second plot change your hope for some sort of romance burns anew.
Date: September 02 2013 2:08 PM Title: Chapter 22
Great now I feel sorry for gage now that I know he is only 11 years old.
Author's Response:
So I spent a lot of time agonizing over how old Gage should actually be. I've known for a while now that he's actually much younger than his avatar/general demeanor would have you (and Charis and Rima and others) believe. I settled on 11 because I wanted his age to be as shocking as possible, while also giving him at least some plausibility as a precocious genius of some kind who functions like an adult. After some more thought, though, I think I'm just gonna make him 14. 11 just seems too ridiculous, even in the ridiculous setting that I've set up.
Thanks for the quick review! I guess you're one of the lucky few who briefly read that Gage was 11 before I swooped in and changed it!
[Report This]Date: August 26 2013 4:32 PM Title: Chapter 20
Just read the entire story so far and it is great, I hope Gage sticks to his promise of becoming small here and there I deffinatley think that Charis and Rima will have earned it.
Author's Response:
Heh, well let's just say that the story will end when/if Gage ever gets big again. Glad you like the story!
[Report This]Date: August 19 2013 9:57 PM Title: Chapter 20
That would suck having to have another friend jail broke. This is really a great story so far!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review, ToGetHer! I'm glad you like the story. I have the story pretty much completely plotted out from here; hopefully it'll keep the readers interested.
[Report This]Date: July 29 2013 10:29 PM Title: Chapter 17
Very good work capturing the intensity in this chapter, poor Charis makes a convenient punching bag since she isn't jailbroken lol
Always looking forward to additions!
Author's Response:
Thanks for your continued reviews, soniti54 (and TinyDann). Sorry I haven't been responded to your comments; I've been extremely busy recently and have pared down all of my GiantessWorld.net activities to essential systems only (writing chapters and posting them). Hopefully I'll get more active again with reviews and whatnot soon.
And yes, Charis was/is a totally expendable asset in these fights from a cold-blooded strategic standpoint, but she seems game. I'm hoping to develop her further in upcoming chapters, and also to continue to improve my pacing. Glad you're still with me.
[Report This]Date: July 24 2013 12:09 AM Title: Chapter 16
Nice action in these chapters and a great job creating the imagery of it all :3
[Report This]Date: July 01 2013 7:31 PM Title: Chapter 13
Hahah something tells me things are about to get even more interesting. :3
Author's Response:
Oh yes... very interesting...
[Report This]Date: June 11 2013 8:59 PM Title: Chapter 10
I welcome Rima's burst of characterization! Topped with Gage's smug innocense, lol I got even more than I expected in this chapter :)
Author's Response:
I'm glad you liked it. The next few chapters will be more characterization followed by some really intense action. It's funny you call Gage's demeanor smug innocence... let's just say I have a huge twist in the works that I hope you'll enjoy!
[Report This]Date: June 04 2013 1:02 AM Title: Chapter 9
Excellent! I'm a sucker for Virtual Realities and you've rolled it in fantastic here! I think it takes more imagination and organization to thoroughly create an engaging alternate reality, and this is thoroughly engaging.
The main character is unique, Gage is an unusually strong willed and witty individual in spite of his predicament, he's one of my favorite male characters that I've seen since Chijinda in the Shrink High RPG.
So far Charis and Rima seem less dynamic than Gage, but I think that's more due to their limited character interaction, since Gage is the one the story follows. Though their interactions with Gage have still made them very entertaining characters. :]
I don't think I've ever read 14,000 words this fast, it makes me wish I'd slowed down even. This is very well written and I'll very much be looking forward to future chapters!
Author's Response:
Thanks very much for the kind review. The fact that Charis and Rima have been a bit flat has been bothering me too, so I hope to address that in upcoming chapters. Anyway, check back every Monday for the next riveting installment!
Date: May 20 2013 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 1
So I guess I am asking for permission to write a story like this, that or for you to make this an open series and THEN I have permission to add onto it.
Author's Response:
Of course you can -- and either way you want to do it is fine by me. If you have any questions just PM me here or on GiantessCity.com (I'm Fuzzhead on there).
[Report This]Date: May 20 2013 11:29 PM Title: Chapter 7
Wow... Just... Wow.
Amazing. I love the integration of fetishes and a good story. I planned to write something along the lines of this but... I feel like I have to ask permission. Hell! You could make this an open series and I could possibly contribute something!
[Report This]Date: May 15 2013 6:45 PM Title: Chapter 6
Was turned onto this story by a friend and quite frankly I couldn't put it down. I absolutely loved it. I really hope that you will continue it.
aaron
Author's Response:
Glad you liked it! The story will definitely continue. I made a $25 bet with UHF (both a talented and prodigious writer, check his work out) that I would be able to write one chapter a week longer than he could, and I don't intend to lose.
Date: April 11 2013 12:09 AM Title: Chapter 1
Great start, really wanna see where you take this!
Author's Response:
Thanks. Hopefully I'll run with it for a while... I made a bet with UHF that I could add a chapter a week for longer than he could, so maybe that extra incentive will keep me going.