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Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: March 09 2013 12:58 PM Title: Chapter 1

I really enjoyed the story, although I felt many of the paragraphs and some of the sentences were too long. Each paragraph should focus on one idea. I feel that some of the paragraphs could look quite daunting for readers.

Reviewer: aaron Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 09 2013 9:18 AM Title: Chapter 1

Great story!! And awesome idea

aaron

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