Date: April 27 2013 3:59 PM Title: Morning Revival
One thing that doesn't make sense is that in chapter 1 you write that Lucy took a shower and then went to bed, and then in the second chapter she wakes up and comments on how she doesn't have time to take a shower. Why would she need to take a shower again so soon when she just showered before going to bed? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Just thought I should point that out. Other than that keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
Thanks for pointing that out,sloppy writing on my part.
[Report This]Date: February 28 2013 8:20 AM Title: Attempted Conversation
Oh, now will he realize he is shrunk or will it be too late. And is his mother aware of hi situation? Great new chapter, Cannot wait for the next chapter.
Date: February 25 2013 2:57 AM Title: Morning Revival
Great story so far can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the kind words,I hope you'll like the next chapter as it will be the first with an interchanging view point.
Date: February 24 2013 11:26 PM Title: The awkening
I'd like it to remain unaware, good start looking forward to seeing where you go with it
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review,I was trying to figure ot how small to make Jake. I want him to be very small as to keep his whereabouts a mystery to both his mother and himself. Unaware stories fascinate me,and the only true way I can believe in them is if one of the characters is miniscule.