Reviewer: superman9001 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 05 2013 4:16 AM Title: Morning

I think people are getting a little scared at the length of time since your last update.  I absolutely wouldn't want to rush your creative process.  Take as long as you need to write the next chapter(s), but a response to any of the recent reviews saying that you are working on the next chapter would put me (everyone?) at ease.

Please don't abandon this work, you have a superb start and I can't wait to see what more you have planned for this story.

Author's Response:

Hi!

Thanks for the kind words.

I really want to continue, but it's been crazy busy the last few weeks. I expect to be able to start writing again somewhere next week. But rest assured, this story is far from over!

In the meantime, everybody can always send their thoughts about where this story should go :) 

Reviewer: Fairway1000 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 01 2013 6:17 PM Title: Morning

Top, top story.

Reviewer: carpette12 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 28 2013 8:51 AM Title: Morning

+1 for me

You must continue this one! it's an amazing story!

Reviewer: zephilia Signed [Report This]
Date: January 22 2013 11:29 PM Title: Morning

Love this story, I hope you didnot forget about this great piece of writing.

Reviewer: superman9001 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 18 2013 5:51 AM Title: Morning

Your English writing skills are better than that of most native English speakers, and your storyline is captivating.  I'm eager to read more from you as soon as you can produce it, but please don't rush your creative process.  I think you are doing a great job so far, and this is, without exaggeration, my absolute favorite gts read of all time.

I like that the sister teases the brother without being cruel/violent.  I also like that the brother is annoyed some of the time, but still mostly a willing participant.  I'm desperately hoping you'll include a vaginal insertion chapter.

 

Reviewer: Orikyros Signed [Report This]
Date: January 12 2013 4:43 PM Title: Morning

i really hope to see this story continue i was eagerly waiting for the next xhapter and wish u well 

Reviewer: fueler Signed [Report This]
Date: January 11 2013 7:30 PM Title: Morning

I'm guessing you're bogged down by work/school, hopefully you'll pull through without losing your head. :)

The chapters you have here are really well done. Do you (or did you) have a larger story arc planned for this?

Also, guessing from some of the things I've read from you at writing.com I'm guessing where you are heading with this. If it is the case then I'm pretty excited for the future chapters. :D

Reviewer: kamperkonkel Signed [Report This]
Date: January 04 2013 10:46 AM Title: Little game

This is my first review on this site. I don't to a lot of writing on this site but I do have a few series going elsewhere. I wouldn't say that if not for the people that say the whole "How should you know, you haven't written anything." Anyway, I do reviews on Writing.com and I usually pick something I like and something that bothers me, no matter how small so that the person gets some advise and compliments. I just wanted to express that I'm not ripping on you at all. I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't worth the effort.

 

Ok, the thing that I liked most about the series so far is the simplistic detail. We all like certain things but each preference has its own style. It is hard to write for all of them and still be viable to each, not tredding on toes and such. I feel you do an amazing job with this. You have his attention go to multiple areas and keep our appetite wet for things to come, even if what is being described now isn't our cup of tea. But you also don't go too far as to only be entertaining to only one crowd, and hard core fans of that style to boot.

 

The thing that bothered me the most is the dialog seperation. Their options and dialog itself was great, but I got lost in the large paragraphs and had to retrace to catch myself. I use to have the same problem and I fixed it by making each dialog source a seperate paragraph. That also forced me to add detail to how they are interacting with the other characters. I'm not saying that this is what you should do, it is just an example of what can be done.

 

Hope this wasn't stepping on your toes too much. I did enjoy reading and hope to see more soon.

Author's Response:

Hi Kamperkonkel,

 

Thanks for your constructive feedback and taking the time to ellaborate. So no worries of stepping on toes.

Apart from a few additions at writing.com, this is my first story. I had written the first chapter in past tense, but didn't like it. I rewrote the story in present time, because I felt that the readers can identify more with the situations described. What I'm implying is that it's taking some time to devolop writer skills. 

That's why I like the feedback. Could you be more specific though, like an example of a story which contains paragraphs you described.

Also curious of your work, where can I find it?

 

Cheers

Reviewer: grimehead Signed [Report This]
Date: January 03 2013 3:21 AM Title: Little game

Best chapter so far. Looking forward to more!

Reviewer: stewdrick Signed [Report This]
Date: December 30 2012 2:03 AM Title: Morning

This is a really excellent story. Looking forward to seeing future chapters! Extremely well written, especially considering English isn't your first language! I have seen people whose first language IS English who are weaker writers. Fantastic work.