Date: November 28 2012 12:54 AM Title: Chapter 5
Great job so far. Can't wait for more.
Though, I'd suggest that you just read over what you write before posting because might find some little errors that you can fix.
Can't wait to see how Ashley reacts to see Randall knocked out (over protective and beast out at Jason maybe, or frantic and gets him aid quickly)
Author's Response:
I'll try to look over the chapters some more when I put them out, but I was in a hurry last night so sorry. The story might seem slow to most, but trust me you will get your full answer in 3 to 4 chapters from now. Thanks for the tips and reviewing my work!
[Report This]Date: November 27 2012 6:23 PM Title: Chapter 4
Great story,I like the characters. one question is their any fetish material coming in this story?
Date: November 27 2012 5:47 PM Title: Chapter 4
Yeah I hate cliff hangers. Hopefully it won't be too long until the next update.
Author's Response:
Maybe one more tonight if I can get done with my chem work.
Date: November 27 2012 5:43 PM Title: Chapter 3
I'm not sure about the gym, but maybe for Halloween Ashley wears something revealling, and Randall, too dumbstruck to make any witty or critical comments, quietly admires her. She could be dressed as a vampire and uses that as an excuse to get intimate, because vampires like necks. Unless of course, you don't think the story is ready for such inimacy.
Author's Response:
There will be but they are at the stage where they don't want to admit anything. Also nice idea I'll keep that in mind!
Date: November 27 2012 5:19 PM Title: Chapter 2
I really like this story. Could do with more description in place, but for the most part I think your writing is decent. Giantessworld has tip for aspiring authors such as yourself in the "Writing Tools" section of the site.
Author's Response:
Thanks for your response and I will try to work on that.
Date: November 27 2012 5:12 PM Title: Chapter 1
Looks good so far, except you need to separate the speech from the description. Shame the first chapter is a bit short, could have done with a bit more introduction. Still, I have high hopes for this story, so I move onwards, to the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks on the advise of separating the speech from the description, I'll be sure to do that. Also thank you for reading!
Date: November 27 2012 3:17 PM Title: Chapter 3
Randall is way to rude!! Give him manners and can Ashley grow more or Randall shrinks down. Maybe 2 feet and Ashley 12? That could work. But besides that good job. I give it a 6.5 so far
Author's Response:
First off thanks for reading the story. Unfortunatly Randall won't be shrinking but Ashley still has a little bit of growing to do, but that would be in the future. If I did grow Ashley she wouldn't grow taller than 9'2". Randall is mostly a caring person but I can see how he comes off as rude, but you gotta think that he has spent most of his life being picked on by people so he tends to hate situations that make fun of his size or when someone is being bullied. Also the next chapter will be from Ashley's prospective and I will mature her character but there is an event that will lead to that. Anyway keep reading and see how this story progesses!
[Report This]Date: November 27 2012 9:20 AM Title: Chapter 2
Really cool story. An I'm looking forward to more if you choose to write more.
aaron
Author's Response:
I'm really sorry Aaron, but when I created this story I had came up with a list of characters before hand and had events that I wanted to play out. Unfortunatly one of the characters name is Aaron also so I hope that you don't get upset with the character. Anyways thanks for reading this so far.
[Report This]Date: November 27 2012 6:23 AM Title: Chapter 2
It is a very sweet and nice start to the story. I like both of the characters so far and how shy and timid Ashley is. I will look forward to reading more.
In my opinion you seem like you are doing a nice job on the story. Sorry thats all i think of to say.
Author's Response:
Thanks, I will mature the character further but it will take some time. For Randall I wanted someone who doesn't let his size get to him but does see the limits of what he can do. Ashley on the other hand will mature further but I wanted her to be someone that Randall can rely on while still treating him as an equal which many people don't. Anyways thanks and continue reading!