Date: September 29 2012 7:06 AM Title: Chapter 4
The punishment seems rather harsh. I suppose if I liked feet more I wouldn't be complaining. I'm hoping there won't be too much empasis on feet in later chapters.
Date: September 29 2012 7:00 AM Title: Chapter 3
I like the plot twist. I wonder if Melony knows who took him. A fight maybe? The next chapter seems intruiging so I will continue onwards.
Date: September 29 2012 6:55 AM Title: Chapter 2
I'm glad they can be friends. A nice ending to the chapter. I wonder what else you have planned. I assume the story will be over when he has been through all of his friends? That sounds like sensible place to to end as people will be looking for him as he has dissapeared. His parent's will be worried.
Date: September 29 2012 6:50 AM Title: Chapter 1
It's an interesting start, and although I feel events are moving too quickly I have a feeling will enjoy this story anyway.
[Report This]Date: September 28 2012 8:14 PM Title: Chapter 4
What? WHAT??? Dang it Julian! How much trouble can one human get himself into? I mean... DAMN MAN!!! Sheesh. And are they all bipolar? One second they are completely concerned for him, and the next they are the most evil-est creatures on the face of the planet!
Author's Response: If you think THIS is crazy, wait till' the nxt ch.!
Date: September 28 2012 12:15 AM Title: Chapter 3
I like the new chapter. But one thing: you never describe how Miranda looks? She's a new character but you just describe her as the protagonist's crush. You describe the looks of the other two girls, but not her. Just a little nitpick you might have missed. Keep going, I think you're improving.
Author's Response: Thanks, I fixed it and sorry this chapter was short, I had little time to post it, but I'm working on ch.4. This is my third most popular story. Hopefull, it gets the "Story of the Moment" box. Thingy. -Julian
[Report This]Date: September 27 2012 5:40 PM Title: Chapter 2
Aaaw. See? Why can't the giantess be friends with the shrunken guy?
Author's Response: They are. At least for now........
[Report This]Date: September 27 2012 1:40 PM Title: Chapter 2
To paraphrase the immortal words of M'sieur Rick of Casablanca: "Melony? This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
Date: September 26 2012 11:44 PM Title: Chapter 1
I think this story has potential, and is pretty good so far. One thing I like is that you seem to have a lot of different ideas for interactions (for example, when her tear hits him. there are a million stories about feet or breasts, but tears are a liquid i've almost never seen used).
I wish you'd linger a little longer on things though. Like take just a few more sentences to describe some of the "scenes". It's important in a story like this.
Also, when you say you're doing a chapter for each day with a girl, does that mean Melony will be the subject for the next 5-6 chapters before another girl, who then takes 7 chapters? I don't want to say it's a bad idea, but you might want to think about bringing in the other girls faster. And then maybe having some kind of conflict between them based on their different feelings for the shrunken boy.
I don't wanna be too negative on it. The interactions between the characters are pretty cute and should get better as the story continues.
I mean, do whatever you want. Just my thoughts. I'm still starting out as a gts writer too so I wanted to say a few stray observations.
Author's Response: The reason I started on here and started making stories was because many of the stories I've read here inspired me to write. My first stories had many flaws and were too fast, so I took the comments all together, put them in my thoughts, and BAM! This story came out. P.s. Thanks for reading and giving me your thoughts.
Author's Response: The reason I started on here and started making stories was because many of the stories I've read here inspired me to write. My first stories had many flaws and were too fast, so I took the comments all together, put them in my thoughts, and BAM! This story came out. P.s. Thanks for reading and giving me your thoughts.
Date: September 26 2012 6:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
Hey can u pick a story and stay with it?
Author's Response: Sure, I am planning on making a chapter for each day he spends with a girl. I am going to stop production on all other stories and focus on this one. Btw, thanks ALL of you for your feed back. My past stories were lame but, I want to make this one a story you guus won't forget. P.s. If I can, I will post a chapter every day.
P.p.s This story was based of my life. The people and thier feelings about me is.true.
Author's Response: Sure, I am planning on making a chapter for each day he spends with a girl. I am going to stop production on all other stories and focus on this one. Btw, thanks ALL of you for your feed back. My past stories were lame but, I want to make this one a story you guus won't forget. P.s. If I can, I will post a chapter every day.
P.p.s This story was based of my life. The people and thier feelings about me is true. Everything is real. (except the shrinking.)
[Report This]Date: September 26 2012 4:45 PM Title: Chapter 1
Don't feel too bad, Julian. No other guy, this side of Richard Simmons, would try to run away, either!
Author's Response: :D
[Report This]Date: September 26 2012 6:26 AM Title: Chapter 1
Aaaw. Isn't that cute? She HAS a soul! Wow. That was a HUGE plot twist. I seriously did not see that coming.
Author's Response: Haha, lol. Yep, she isn't THAT heart-less
[Report This]Date: September 26 2012 1:45 AM Title: Chapter 1
not bad at all. Im use to your stories going by a little faster than others. you are the type of author who likes to get straight to the action. u seem to like names that start with J (My name starts with a J) I like that u have so many different ideas in your head. Try not to forget about your other stories! :) (FEED ME MORE!)
Author's Response: Yeah, I figured that. I am getting better at writing, thanks to your comments. My real name is Julian. I'm really happy because this is my first story that has all 5 starts from the reviewers. -Julian