Date: March 24 2014 8:06 PM Title: Chapter 1
Make another one except make it so girl shrinks boy on the boys permission and takes him home plays gentely with him and if you didn't have mouth play in this or body exploration do it in this one plz
Author's Response: I'm back and I have an idea for a story for you. A little short story, just while I work on my other ones. For those others reading this, I will continue Jarret Johnson. But for the meantime, I have another story for all you to read. Uhpoop, would you mind if I have a bit of violence in this story? It will be as you requested, with the mouth play and body exploration, but I have a solid idea for this story. I'll be publishing it very soon, so comment any specific requests for this story. Thank you for your time.
-Julian
Date: September 13 2013 8:53 PM Title: Chapter 4
Not bad for a first story. There is a lot of action which I like.
If I could make one suggestion it is that you put something after the dialogue to tell us who is speaking.
For example if you have a line like...
"Oh. Your turn Julissa."
make sure to add something like "said Valerie" or something to tell the reader who is speaking at any given time.
[Report This]Date: December 27 2012 12:00 AM Title: Chapter 6
Good chapter, but too bad his suicide attempt failed. I gotta admit, Julian's got balls to jump out the window.
[Report This]Date: December 26 2012 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 5
Dear god... I wonder how he's going to survive. Don't give up Julian! Keep your will to live!!!!
[Report This]Date: December 26 2012 11:54 PM Title: Chapter 4
Ohh, my earlier review is WRONG! Miranda is the evil torturer! The plot thickens ever so much.
Great story so far!
[Report This]Date: December 26 2012 11:52 PM Title: Chapter 3
Hmm, Miranda likes him but Julissa doesn't? And the plot thickens ever so more.
[Report This]Date: December 26 2012 11:50 PM Title: Chapter 2
Wow, she changed really fast. Or did she...
Might be a trick. Watch out Julian!
[Report This]Date: December 26 2012 11:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
That was one of the most sudden shrinkages ever. Of all time. But I like the story so far. Don't know why I waited to read this. but still, no sympathy from Melony. A typical girl torture of shrunken men.
[Report This]Date: October 19 2012 11:54 PM Title: Chapter 1
lol combining the two different stories. Im looking forward to their meeting. good surprise I give u that.
[Report This]Date: October 03 2012 1:46 PM Title: Chapter 6
At first, I thought he was having a nightmare. But, now, he'll feel like he's having a wonderful dream! The only thing that puzzles me is how these juvennile delinquettes are going to explain the sleep-gassing of Julian's mother, in a hospital room, with a window broken from the inside?
Author's Response: Hell if I know! Jk, I will explain that in a later chapter..... Or will I?
Date: October 03 2012 4:31 AM Title: Chapter 6
Well at least he's happy now. Shame this chapter was so short though. I did like it nonetheless.
[Report This]Date: October 02 2012 7:14 PM Title: Chapter 5
And who wouldn't want to read about being chased by a few gorgeous girls?
Though from what happens next, it's a wonder the little guy is still alive.
[Report This]Date: October 02 2012 7:12 PM Title: Chapter 4
Nice chase in the pillow
[Report This]Date: October 02 2012 7:10 PM Title: Chapter 3
"They just stare at me and lick thier lips."
I can just picture it. Wow!
[Report This]Date: October 02 2012 7:09 PM Title: Chapter 2
The mouth play scene was handled originally, and I'm getting used to the first person narrative, which is also less regular on the forum. Off to chapter 3 now.
[Report This]Date: October 02 2012 7:07 PM Title: Chapter 1
Good position. I wouldn't need to be threatened with punishment to sleep there. LOL.
Date: October 01 2012 5:49 PM Title: Chapter 5
Seriously. Bipolar.
[Report This]Date: October 01 2012 8:26 AM Title: Chapter 5
Man! Talk about getting "nailed."
;-)
Date: October 01 2012 2:37 AM Title: Chapter 5
That was really unexpected. I wouldn't trust Melony again. Although now that she's seen how he is treated she may take him back...
Author's Response: I wouldn't get your hopes up.......
[Report This]Date: September 29 2012 11:28 AM Title: Chapter 4
OK! So, these three are school rivals of Melony's. Perhaps, she's even bullied them, more than once! I initially thought they were fellow members of the quintet from chapter one, who got impatient waiting for their turn.
Sorry; my bad!