[Report This]Date: August 14 2015 9:10 AM Title: Chapter 1
Gotta agree with @MrNoName637 and @Jacksmith in this one.
Date: February 26 2013 9:36 AM Title: Chapter 1
The paragraphs are way too choppy. You end words in the middle and begin them on the next paragraph. Think you can fix that?
[Report This]Date: November 23 2011 9:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
don't want to be harsh either, but i'm going to have to agree and say that this almost seems like a joke. are you aware of conventional english grammar and whatnot? there's a tool on the site to help you out if you're not. keep trying.
[Report This]Date: November 01 2011 5:05 PM Title: Chapter 1
This story seems like it was written entirely while high. Honestly, have you ever written anything before? I'm usually not this harsh, but this is just awful.
Author's Response:
really? I liked my plot thought it was smart and no first time
Date: November 01 2011 4:20 PM Title: Chapter 1
The way I see it is each paragraph should focus on one idea and the next paragraph tackles a different idea. I reccomend having a look at the writing tools section of the site.
Author's Response:
yeah I wanted it to focuse on each group of caritores
Date: October 31 2011 10:24 AM Title: Chapter 1
Can you please split your story into paragraphs. It would make much easier for people to read. At the moment it looks very daunting.
Author's Response:
I kind of don't know how dude?