Giantess World
Reviews For Pocket'D In
Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: October 15 2011 1:01 AM Title: Pocket'D In
Date: October 15 2011 1:01 AM Title: Pocket'D In
I think you might hvae a nice idea coming along, although your story (chapter) is really short but this is not the main issue. Tha manin issue is the paragraphing. You should work on spliting up your story into paragraphs because it makes it much easier to read.
Reviewer: rhino2003 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 14 2011 8:55 PM Title: Pocket'D In
Date: October 14 2011 8:55 PM Title: Pocket'D In
very, very nice start! maybe some description of the maid though. hope to see more soon.