[Report This]Date: December 12 2022 5:46 AM Title: Chapter 1
Very good erotic story Scrumptious. Well done.
I like how Mark made Sarah feel like such a goddess that he underestimated how it might affect her otherwise gentle demeanor. Not that he was completely upset about getting eaten - he was certainly on the fence.
Date: August 27 2011 10:26 AM Title: Chapter 1
You really explored the characters. For such a short story there was definite progression and development. I don't think making it longer is nescecarry. It was exactly the length it needed to be to tell the story. I probably would've omitted the line "She could tell that he wanted this too, as he slid toward her gullet." at this point in her development I'm not sure if she'd care what he wants. She feels she deserves this, but that might just be me.
[Report This]Date: May 06 2011 12:37 AM Title: Chapter 2
A very entertaining story. I was expecting it to be longer with the care you put into the set up, but even with only two chapters, this proved to be quite the enjoyable read. Nice work.
Author's Response: Looking at it, you're probably right. I did not really want to write a terribly long story, because I tend to have problems finishing those up (see my Goddess in Becoming yarn). However, I do think that it might be worthwhile to add more meat to the after-insertion part of this story and turn it into a separate chapter.
[Report This]Date: May 05 2011 11:07 PM Title: Chapter 2
Good story.
Please write more.
[Report This]Date: May 05 2011 5:53 PM Title: Chapter 1
That was a pretty entertaining story, I gotta say. I would have enjoyed focusing more on his shock/horror/whatever as he realized he really was getting eaten, but other than that, this story succeeded in what it was doing.