Date: August 11 2013 12:10 AM Title: The Fall of a Queen
Awesome story, very easy to follow.
Date: January 03 2013 7:16 PM Title: The Fall of a Queen
great story i cant wait for more updates!
[Report This]Date: December 13 2011 9:14 AM Title: The Fall of a Queen
man was i shocked that poor maria died like that.. but you captured the emotions of the scene perfectly. glad that bitch kharlla was killed be merle an all the fighting parts were very action packed which kept me wanting more.
hopefully merle will get to finally take off her boots when she arrives at her friends village(an that if she doesnt have any polish on that trey would offer to help her out, im just saying)
anyways this story is beautifully written i especially loved how you described the scenery when trey an merle left the castle, an i also thought that the other humans had a natural reaction not to trust this queen at first but seemed to be warming up to her later.
at any rate this story is superb an i hope to see more of it.
aaron
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading, and your comments! There definitely is more to come very soon. I really want to hasten my progress on this story, especially since I've been slacking with it (and with writing in general, sadly).
[Report This]Date: December 13 2011 8:04 AM Title: The Fall of a Queen
Wow! The exciting conclusion of this story is one of the best Xmas presents I've ever gotten from this site. Thanks for finally posting it. :-)
Author's Response:
Thanks. :) Though while this particular story arc is finished, the story itself is just getting started. ;)
[Report This]Date: December 13 2011 7:56 AM Title: Showdown in Kharlla's Domain
Hey-hey! You delivered chapter 3 nineteen-and-a-half years sooner than George Lucas delivered the Prequel Trilogy. That, in itself, is worth five stars.
Date: November 13 2011 6:32 AM Title: Showdown in Kharlla's Domain
I really like this story by the constant changing of the point of view is frustraiting because I'm getting immsered in one scene and then it suddenly changes.
Author's Response:
I apologize for the late reply, but I can see where you're coming from. I guess I was trying to evoke what many comics and TV shows do, but I imagine that it's harder to pull off in stories.
The next chapter has cut back on those quite a bit.
[Report This]Date: November 12 2011 9:42 PM Title: Showdown in Kharlla's Domain
glad to see this story again. love the battles an junk. great tale.
aaron
[Report This]Date: April 01 2011 11:19 AM Title: Rebel
Oh, yeah! I'm definitely tuning in for chapter 3.
:-D
Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it so far. :)
I'm not worried about George Lucas' Disease with this story. My main concern is that readers don't find it too preachy about the faults of human kind. I conceived the story after playing the video game Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey, which is also very preachy about humanity and has a Mother figure as the final boss of the Neutral and Law routes.
[Report This]Date: April 01 2011 11:09 AM Title: Prologue & Escape
NOw, THAT is what I call an auspicious beginning! No way you'll ever succumb to George Lucas' Disease with this potential classic.
:-)
[Report This]Date: March 28 2011 12:50 PM Title: Rebel
This story is brilliant, I really enjoyed it, and can't wait for more! Merle is one awesome warrior giantess (hope she doesn't die though, but that's just me =)
[Report This]Date: March 28 2011 8:56 AM Title: Rebel
what an astonishing chapter. an thank you for continuing this remarkable tale.
really love where its going an like the fact that maria was taken by kharla's chamber. cant wait to see what happens next.
aaron
ps loved the scene where kharla is watching with amusement as two humans fight by her bare feet,
Date: March 28 2011 12:37 AM Title: Rebel
It's ok but then the name Eli appeared from nowhere and it gets very confusing for me as a reader. There is no mention of this person previously. Perhaps if oyu describe her first and then only call her Eli after he name is mentioned for the first time by another character...
Author's Response:
It seemed that Elli's name came from nowhere because that scene was from her point of view. So obviously she would know her own name, and not have to describe herself.
Date: December 13 2010 2:21 PM Title: Prologue & Escape
More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please ^^
[Report This]Date: December 11 2010 7:00 AM Title: Prologue & Escape
wow great start. hope that you continue with this tale.
aaron
[Report This]Date: December 11 2010 2:16 AM Title: Prologue & Escape
"iron fist" How about "iron foot"? That's an expression I've used before in a story. Just thought it would be more fitting. ;)
Also, I think you mention Trey as being a "she" once.
When are you going to be writing more? This is one of the few good stories.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the head's-up. I caught the error and will correct it.
I will be adding to this story very soon, but I also have other stories that are in dire need of an update. But I'll try not to make the wait too long. Glad you enjoyed it, though. :)