[Report This]Date: August 05 2011 4:23 PM Title: Chapter 1
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[Report This]Date: July 26 2011 9:35 PM Title: Chapter 1
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[Report This]Date: July 26 2011 6:33 PM Title: Chapter 1
I wasn't aware of some of the info that you mentioned so I want to just say thank you
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Date: December 04 2007 11:01 PM Title: Chapter 1
Im mostly a gentle giantess guy with all the hard stuff but this is still a good story...NICE JOB
[Report This]Date: April 27 2006 8:26 PM Title: Chapter 1
Good story line with great imagination.
However, spelling and grammar is not well done.
Here's a few suggestions:
Try to keep your tenses consistent - preferably write the whole story in the past tense.
Also try to keep the perspective, from which the story is being told, consistent. In my opinion, telling it in the third person is easiest.
Write complete sentences. And avoid combining double sentences.
End questions with a "?" mark.
The words "step-mother", "step-son", "step-brother", "step-sister" should be hyphenated throughout.
Be careful about contractions; "you're" for "you are", not "your"; "they're" for "they are", not "their".
I think that you've got great potential. Please continue to write more. You're likely to get better with practice.
Author's Response: Hey SafteyPin, Thanks for the comments. As you can see I am not the greatest at spelling or grammer. I am working on getting better at proof reading. Thank you for your comments and I'll work on the rest. Peace!!!
[Report This]Date: April 26 2006 4:57 PM Title: Chapter 1
absolutely brilliant story. great plot and all the twists neatly merge into one another. the narration is flawless, and the day dreaming a really good concept.oh, and not to forget: i find the girls' description really hot.! definitely a favorite story!
Author's Response: Nostromo, Thank you again for your comments. I am a huge fan of your stories, and it is a mega comment coming from yourself.
[Report This]Date: April 25 2006 6:19 PM Title: Chapter 1
Excellent story I love the way you portray the Stepmom's disdain for Carl
Author's Response: Thanks for the comments Kensai. I had fun writing the story, and look forward to getting more up on the board in a few months.
[Report This]Date: April 25 2006 1:28 PM Title: Chapter 1
A very good story, keeps you interested. Even with all of the spelling errors I still like it. I have to leave now, but am looking forward to finishing it tonight.
Author's Response: Hello Stanley, Thank you for your comments. "Carl's Wicked Stepmother" was my first shot at the writing thing, and I'm honored to see someone that writes as well as you leaving me a compliment like that. Thanks again and keep up the good work yourself.