Date: January 05 2016 4:08 PM Title: Chapter 10
Having just now finished reading the 3 Hayone Saga stories, (Scapegoat, End of an Era, and Between an Orc and a Hard Place), I must now appologize for thinking that the first was too short, and should be made longer. I had read your work for the first time, and didn't know that there were further stories set in that worldline, with Raquel as the 'star' character. Very nicely done (though in all honesty, I must admit that I was looking for a much different ending on the first story...) But then, it is your story, not mine! Keep up the good work.
Date: February 03 2011 6:26 AM Title: Chapter 1
How can you make such a suspenseful plot?!? It combines fear with action and also is very descriptive. Very VERY good. I wouldn't be able tocriticize you, because I've never made a story. But anyway, awesome, cool, the best, going on my favorites!
Date: July 29 2010 10:03 PM Title: Chapter 1
Great read. This was the story that made me a Pixis fan. It's so good to see these kind of stories with an actual plot and characters. The airship was cool too.
Date: July 26 2010 12:22 PM Title: Chapter 10
Kudos to both of you on a job, well done. :-)
Date: July 24 2010 3:00 PM Title: Chapter 10
Wow I've really enjoyed this magical and incredibly imaginative tale. And I thank you both for writing it...
Man oh man what an awesome ending.
I only wish that you both could possibly do a spinoff story with Raquel and pixie... But I guess that's asking too much... At any rate this is by far my favorite adventure tale on this site. And thanks again
Aaron
Date: July 08 2010 12:04 PM Title: Chapter 9
damn... this story is awesome. but what i really love are cliffhangers and plots that keep me guessing. well done.
also like the exploding airship...
aaron
ps of course raquel was finaminal as usual.
thanks again for this awesome adventure tale please keep going.
Date: July 08 2010 10:26 AM Title: Chapter 9
Uh-oh! I didn't see that one coming, at all. I wonder if Raquel will be able to catch it in her outstretched arms?
Date: June 29 2010 11:43 AM Title: Chapter 8
Now, THAT is what I call a suspenseful cliff-hanger. Double bravo!
Date: June 29 2010 11:39 AM Title: Chapter 7
Gets better and better with each chapter. :-)
Date: June 29 2010 11:36 AM Title: Chapter 6
I'll have to deduct one star for poor grammar. A "swan-off" rifle? That's as bad as omitting the "not" in Gunther realizing he was NOT alone!*
*Little kids are SO lucky I don't teach elementary school. ;-)
Author's Response: Yeah, I saw that afterward and was kicking myself. I'm an editor myself and usually catch these things. Doh!
Date: June 29 2010 11:25 AM Title: Chapter 5
I see I wasn't the only one who noticed the similarity. Bravo!
Date: June 29 2010 11:21 AM Title: Chapter 4
Hmmmmm! I wonder if Lee and Company are ex-Sturmgewehr? I guess the only way to answer that is to high-tail it to chapter 5!
Date: June 29 2010 11:14 AM Title: Chapter 3
You know; people often criticize steampunk fiction for anachronistically depicting tanks twenty-something years before their real-world invention. But, in actuality? It would have been feasible for a tank to have been developed in the late 19th century! Simply by combining the principles of the horseless carriage with the iron-plated wagons that used to deliver Union Army payrolls during the Civil War.
In short; well done!
Date: June 29 2010 11:04 AM Title: Chapter 2
Granted, he has somewhat better cause. But, this version of Sir P still sounds too much like Krazy Klaus!
Date: June 29 2010 11:00 AM Title: Chapter 1
Love it! I'm off to chapter two.
Date: June 26 2010 11:18 PM Title: Chapter 8
umm... can you say EPIC!!!
cause that is the one word phrase that best describes this (in my opinion of course).
aaron
Date: June 15 2010 1:19 PM Title: Chapter 7
the plot thickens... poor rachel. only wish that pixis would have shown his fighting chops though. now the question is when will kroth and his crew catch djoland? or how will they be stopped? cant wait for the next installment of this great adventure epic.
ps airfield?? what??
aaron
Date: June 08 2010 12:25 PM Title: Chapter 6
holy $#!T!! that's an impressive chapter. the build up to the climactical conclusion was spectacular.
was worth the wait indeed.
especially liked the way that pixis and raquel's relationship is progressing.
can't seem to say enough 'good' things about this tale. peace
aaron
Date: May 20 2010 10:59 PM Title: Chapter 5
Wow this adventure never let's up. Well done. Great character development.
Aaron