[Report This]Date: November 11 2025 5:46 PM Title: Chapter 3
Now I'm very interested in the next chapter.
Will she actually be genuine and capable of showing compassion for someone who got the equivalent of a death sentence?
For now, she seems to be highly based on a whim induced by her friend, and mostly wants it because it's trendy.
Yet it would be nice if she could actually empathize and maybe also think of things that could make Steph genuinely happy (based on the things she learned about her), and make her feel like a person, instead of forcing everything onto her, after tricking her mother into believing that she cares.
Obviously, still in exchange for getting her way at times.
[Report This]Date: November 11 2025 4:04 AM Title: Chapter 3
Wow I already like the set and introduction of Emily and Mike they seem like fun and now I hope they get Ruby lol
so far the writing has really improved and the spacing between dialogue has been much better
overall great work
[Report This]Date: November 03 2025 12:48 AM Title: Chapter 2
Interesting concept so far...!
[Report This]Date: November 02 2025 10:33 AM Title: Chapter 2
The interactions sound quite interesting. I can see them as actual characters, instead of mere templates standing in for such.
Though, I really, really hope this story will have at least a degree of consent and gentleness. The MC is already screwed enough, so adding pure mindbreak to this would just be sad.
Not like in "Growing Closer", which has a similar premise, is quite well written, and makes me seriously sick whenever I skim through the chapter.
The tormentor in this one is such a manipulative piece of filth that I can't even come up with a suitable punishment for how she's torturing the MC to make up for it. It's hard seeing evil getting rewarded, while the likeable MC in a bad place gets just worse and worse.
I see at least a degree of gentleness with the characters for now, and I hope they'll at least try to empathize with a being worse off than them.
(And hopefully not get into this weird "I'm a goddess, because I can bully someone weaker than me" mindset)
Author's Response:
Ok so there will be gentleness, and no the owners wont be like the owner in growing closer. There will be playful cruelty, but no out right gaslighting, or torture.
[Report This]Date: October 28 2025 1:47 AM Title: Chapter 1
Very interested in where this goes and who gets her.
[Report This]Date: October 27 2025 5:58 PM Title: Chapter 1
Very Strong beginning. Keep going. Looking forward for more.
[Report This]Date: October 27 2025 10:50 AM Title: Chapter 1
Excellent start so far - keep it up!
[Report This]Date: October 27 2025 5:26 AM Title: Chapter 1
Wow this was good start I think you should have dialogue should be more spread out so it’s easier to read but overall great work
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review. I do think I am struggling with dialogue. I am working on to improve it.