[Report This]Date: March 16 2025 7:43 PM Title: Epilogue - Fugitive and Foresight
Congrats on finishing the story! A rare feat on this site :x
I could've never predicted the ending. I 100% expected Anna to find Ren and Heather after a post-meal nap instead of a new giantess appearing out of seemingly thin air. She's not even on the cover^^. A few lines foreshadowing her arrival from Emmas perspective would've been nice.
That being said the interactions with Larissa were fun to read (and very hot with the knowledge of Emmas whereabouts). I imagine the fierce fight between Ren and Heather must've looked very cute to her.
Larissas arrival also means that in the grand scheme of things the heist was always doomed to fail. But not completely since the gold was teleported away. Which should've annoyed the giantesses, but they didn't seem to care (or know).
A bit disappointing that nothing happened after Larissa warned Heather twice that she won't be safe in the mansions vicinity. Seemed like buildup for a chase scene. At least with the location tracking it kinda is? I'm honestly very surprised she got spared for now and Ren wasn't. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened had she encountered Anna.
It's really funny how all the tinies received beautiful descriptions of their tasty demise, while Ged died in just one paragraph. Somehow all he amounted to was an example of Annas power and fueling Rens hatred of Heather. A real hero o7
Finally, I love your writing style. You did a great job bringing the characters and world to life (and death) while also moving along at a good pace! I was excited for the next chapter every week :)
Author's Response:
Ahoy, and thanks so much for the second review, you spoil me!
In terms of Larissa suddenly appearing, it definitely would seem like that on the first read. My intention though is that if you were to read it again there’s a small hint that she’s captured by Emma after Anna shakes the mug. Adelaide, in her moment of pain and confusion, hears a ringing noise and thinks it’s tinnitus, in actuality it was Emma ringing the bell to warn them. I probably could’ve done more, but it was important to me that the foreshadowing for many of the twists are only really noticed on later reads (whether or not I was successful with that is certainly up for debate though).
In terms of Outside the castle. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I can definitely see why it might come across like I was setting up a chase scene. Alas, next time ‘^^
Heather being spared though, the tracking thing, and Ren being eaten. In the Prologue, Emma briefly mentioned that all the loot would be teleported to a secure location and that it would be sealed with magic that can only be broken with the blood of someone from the party. Larissa, having used the truth spell on Emma, knew about that detail. So to ensure the retrieval of the treasure she needed Heather to go back and unseal it first. Apologies if that sounded contrived ‘^^
So yeah, Ren getting eaten was simply because she was only useful as a snack at that point. You’re also completely correct that if Heather encountered Anna she’d be done for quicker than you can make an Ada and Mabel omelette.
Thank you again for your kind words and support <3 I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for them*
[Report This]Date: March 16 2025 1:11 AM Title: Epilogue - Fugitive and Foresight
Finally sharing my thoughts on the ending, like I promised :D
Love this story. It's such a satisfying read.
Heather was a really engaging protagonist, even after her betrayal - and it's consequences - I still found myself rooting for her to escape. Chapter 5 and the epilogue were a really nice surprise, and a great way of finishing the story off. Larissa was super cute for what little screen time she had overall, and the reveal at the end that she'd already interrogated and eaten Emma was titillating.
I don't feel for Ged and Ren, they had it coming. But poor Mabel and Adelaide. Don't get me wrong, it was super hot, but also super sad. Out of everyone they deserved their fate the least, I think. Especially seeing Mabel re-crippled by Anna's swallow, that was heart-wrenchingly well done. Ada only realising what had happened when the bulge of Mabel's body rolled past her is easily my favourite passage in the story. Their fate is especially sad to think about when Heather is hoping she'll see them safe afterward. Little does she know she's going home as the sole survivor.
Seriously well done. 11/10
[Report This]Date: March 09 2025 3:09 PM Title: Chapter 4 - Ada Adieu
Amazing chapter! After all the well-written setup I had high hopes for the vore part and you delivered!
I loved all the detailed descriptions showcasing Annas playful and cruel attitude. Though Mabel being in denial during her final moments was hard to read. Out of all the characters I liked her and Ada the most, they seemed like genuinely nice people undeserving of this fate.
While Ada and Mabel were the closest to the exit, they got caught anyway. Which makes me wonder why Heather decided to betray the team while no one was safe. Clearly she could have betrayed them in a way that doesn't endanger herself? But maybe I'm just reading too much into this^^
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the review, and I’m glad you enjoyed the tasteful content!
As for Heather and her plan, it’s a combination of a few things. Initially she wanted to (kinda) do what Mabel did to her: be the first up and then cut the rope. The weariness of the journey, her emotions running high, the guilt at having to betray Mabel and Ada — who at that point she had become fond of — made her impulsively adjust the plan to try and save the two soldiers of Pereh. That’s why she insists they go on ahead.
You’re right though, the plan itself was definitely filled with risk, but she worked with what she had ^^
Date: March 06 2025 11:58 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Heather's Heist
I love this story! And my heart especially goes out to Heather. I completely understand why she did that. I really hope she doesn't die, Author. If she does, who would take care of her mother's debts, her sister?
Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
We will have to wait and see, but as they say... be careful what you wish for~
[Report This]Date: March 02 2025 9:55 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Heather's Heist
SPOILERS FOR THIS CHAPTER:
This chapter is such a good read. Even just from a literary standpoint. The way the characters start to mesh together, only for things to come crashing down when Heather takes her revenge.
Seriously well done, as always.
Author's Response: I'm so happy and relieved you enjoyed it. I was nervous for months that the twist would either be too obvious or just not setup enough. The characters only just starting to finally get along was crucial, imo, to making the betrayal actually hit, so I'm glad that worked as well ^^
[Report This]Date: February 24 2025 12:21 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Drugging and Dangling
Another excellent chapter Cali, can't wait for more!
My favs Adelaide and Mabel <3
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I SuperDuper appreciate it :3
[Report This]Date: February 21 2025 8:34 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Criminals and Castles
I love it when stories have creative world building and good backstories. Compelling character motivation is another nice bonus. I find stories that spend more focus on those aspects usually better than if it's just smut. Really hope this becomes a long story, or at least half a dozen chapters long!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the review and the kind words! My favourite stories have always had good character development and world building, so it's definitely something I strive to achieve in my writing!
Half a dozen was a good guess ^^ Next week will be the final two chapters, bringing us to 7. Hope you enjoy the rest of the journey*
[Report This]Date: February 17 2025 11:23 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Criminals and Castles
There is so much great characterization in these early chapters. Honestly, I didn't fully appreciate it the first time I read this story, but upon reexamination it really is just wonderful. There's a lot to juggle at first with so many new characters being introduced in such a short span of time, but now that I'm more familiar with them I find I can better appreciate some of the more subtle aspects of each individual, as well as the writing more broadly. Honestly, I wish I could accomplish so much with so little. Kudos on being succinct, yet effective.
I've already read the whole story so I know it sticks the landing, but I'll be sure to continue reading and leave a final review at the end. Good job!
[Report This]Date: February 16 2025 1:49 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Criminals and Castles
I really enjoy the sharp prose here, its carefully considered and paints a vivid view into the setting without bogging us down with overdone explanation, every nugget of textual info unearthed feels earned/needed, a world slowly breaking down, lingered with trauma and heartbreak leading a populous of callous, distant and above all desperate people who'll do anything to escape the rot.
The way you conjure up the world and the almost hesitant/unspoken threat of the giants as something so engrained within the culture too really tickles a part of the brain, their need to reverse engineer an existing world to accommodate their needs is a great foundation to explore and show how it diverges from the actual historical period.
Elves, magic, the quack medicine, the rival nations all help establish this world as distinct but familiar to our own, its rare to see those elements transplanted into this this industrial revolution/diesel punk hybrid.
Can't wait to read more, I can tell we are in for a real treat!
[Report This]Date: February 16 2025 12:48 AM Title: Prologue - Plans and Profits
Sharing my praise from Discord:
Damn this was a good read. You've done a great job of exploring the fantasy world really organically, and all the characters were really enjoyable, and believable too. The way you wove subtle exposition into character's internal monologues was masterful.
[These paragraphs talks about the ending, so I'll post it later once that's posted ;)]
Also, bravo on just on the way the story is written! You did a wonderful job laying out the plot, and your prose was beautiful. You have a great vocabulary. I had a really clear picture of what was going on most of the time, and you described things in detail while still remaining fairly concise.
It was also cool to read about Anna again, and learn more about the world you're putting together here. I hope you plan to continue writing stories within it, because it's super interesting, and the recurring characters are a blast.
Seriously, really well done! 10/10 Story.
[Report This]Date: February 15 2025 7:46 PM Title: Prologue - Plans and Profits
Even if this story was not a piece of size fiction, it would still serve as an excellent piece of fantasy writing. Fortunately, we are blessed not to have to choose between the two, because Heather's Heist delivers in both areas! I've had the privilege of reading this story in its entirety in advance, and so I thought I'd use that insider knowledge to assure any reader who may be on the fence about starting this story or continuing onward, that the tale is well worth investing your time and attention to. The setting feels incredibly lived-in and the characters are written with more than enough nuance to engender attachment and interest. I would love to go into a deeper analysis, but to say more would be a spoiler and a disservice to the finely crafted plot. A rich meal has been set before you, and I implore you to dig in. You will not leave the table unsatisfied.
Author's Response:
I’m deeply grateful for your kind and thoughtful review. It’s one thing to aim for a story that’s enjoyable from not only a smut perspective, but just a fun plot perspective as well. I’m really glad that you think I’ve done that successfully!! >.<