[Report This]Date: January 29 2025 4:12 PM Title: Chapter 6: Lollipop
I am loving this story, and while it is clear Vicki has baggage and Matt is just focusing on survival and getting his life back, I do hope these two come to some sort of understanding in appreciating each other, because it's clear that Vicki on some level feels bad about what she's doing to Matt, knowing deep down that he doesn't REALLY deserve it, and Matt through all of his understandable anger and humiliation at the torment he's endured from her, seems to be starting to understand that it doesn't come from nowhere and he's a convenient punching bag for Vicki right now.
I also would love to see an enemy to lovers scenario, maybe with Matt being imperiled by someone who doesn't have any concern at all for his safety and Vicki growing more protective of him, even with the rough games that she plays with him.
[Report This]Date: January 29 2025 4:29 AM Title: Chapter 1: Tiny Problems, Big Solutions
I feel bad for Vicky but I hope she doesn't cross a line to bad were he totally hates her. I see potential for enemies to lovers in this story.
[Report This]Date: January 28 2025 10:00 PM Title: Chapter 6: Lollipop
These last two chapters have been pretty interesting.
Vicky doesn't seem like a bad person, really, but she's just somebody who has been beaten down by life and views Matt as her chance to finally be the one on top. I think that's part of the source of her guilt as well; she knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of bullying and demeaning treatment. Obviously she can't relate exactly to what Matt is going through, but I think she understands how he feels sometimes.
Of course, that doesn't outweigh her desire to get "revenge" on the ones who treated her this way, which is she does a lot of what she does to Matty, I think. She wants to feel powerful and important and be someone that can't just be cast aside or dismissed for her looks or perceived lack of intelligence.
Seeing this internal struggle play out is great! Those moments where she feels guilty help ground her as a character. That last time, where she wanted to thank him when she realized his tutoring was actually helping her but decided that she had crossed the line and that he'd never forgive her, was a particularly powerful moment. On the one hand, that's some extreme guilt to feel like you've done something unforgivable,. But on the other, she actually uses that guilt to sort of give herself permission to do these things, as, after crossing the point of no return, what else is there to lose by keeping up the mean treatment?
I'm really intrigued to see how she handles things with Matt in the next chapter.
Also, that Vicky got that worked up over Matt telling her there was no shortcut to that mathematical method was pretty telling. I feel like her issues with that go deeper than she let on. Being dismissed as hot and dumb, I'm sure she's experienced plenty of one-night stands that she was led to believe were going to be part of longer relationships or maybe even date raped. In any case, being made to feel dumb (even when the other person isn't trying to make her feel that way) clearly represents a deeper trauma for her.
There was one cute moment in chapter six that I really enjoyed, That little stutter Vicky had when asking Matt if he was "c-comfy" in her bra was pretty cute. I think that's a sign that, beneath all of the sexual stuff and whatever troubled past she's carrying with her, there's a kind, modest girl in there somewhere. I hope we get to meet her at some point.
Oh, and that line about her father that she said in her sleep was pretty sad, too. At the very least, it sounds as though he put a lot of pressure on her, if not something darker.
Matt is an interesting character, but I find myself wanting to know more about him. I like the logical approach he's taking to escaping, how he still tries to stand up for himself, and his struggle between liking and empathizing with Vicky. So this isn't a complaint about his character being flat or uninspired. He's quite the opposite, actually.
I just want to know more about him as a person. Maybe I'm missing some details about him in the story so far, but I feel like I know Vicky a lot better than I know him. I can at least speculate about her past. Other than Matt being an engineering student who shrank, I know next to nothing about his past or what drives him. This is something I hope you consider working on in the chapters ahead (maybe it'll be easier to do that if/when he escapes?).
As for the smut itself, I'm loving the creative situations you think up and how they all make sense within the story's framework. Like putting him in her bra because the other options were either mean (someone please tell Vicky to feel the jar under mean; I'd say that's meaner than the shoebox option, actually) or left him able to escape or get spotted. It also lasted all day, which was fun. And the lollipop stuff? Fanfuckingtastic!
Again, I really enjoyed these last two chapters, and I feel like all of this tension with gentle, empathetic undertones could be setting up so many great things between these two down the line! I'm excited to see what comes next!
[Report This]Date: January 28 2025 1:53 AM Title: Chapter 5: Leverage
I like how things are developing! Vicky’s internal conflict is really interesting.
[Report This]Date: January 27 2025 6:08 AM Title: Chapter 1: Tiny Problems, Big Solutions
Excellent hope you continue. Seems she cares more than she lets on.
[Report This]Date: January 27 2025 5:51 AM Title: Chapter 4: Aftercare
I've checked out each of your stories posted on the site so far, and this one is my favorite by far! I think it's pretty well-written and the dynamic you're building between Matt and Vicky is really intriguing. And there's so many places you could go with the story from here!
Vicky is kind of all over the place as a character, but I think it works for her. Hinting at her having issues with guys in general (it sounds like she's been out with some douchebags) in chapter three kind of helped put her in perspective for me. She thinks tiny Matt is cute, sure, but I think part of her motivation for how she treated him initially (the jar and his time in her sock when she was getting off, for example) traces back to those issues. Her mentioning that keeping him around makes her feel powerful and like she finally matters in this last chapter implies that she might have gone through something bad at one point or, at the very least, has been treated poorly for an extended period of time by a boyfriend or male family member.
All of that makes me look back at how she treated Matt in the first few chapters and see her actions in an entirely different light. On the surface, it sounds like Vicky is your typical blonde bombshell, but she has some serious problems she's dealing with deep down. I love breaking through character stereotypes like that!
It's a little harder to get a good read on Matt since he's spent pretty much the whole story in peril. He's trying to talk his way to getting help or lamenting what's being done to him, so it makes sense that we haven't seen a ton of his personality shine through yet.
I do love that he's struggling a bit between finding comfort in Vicky and hating her for what she's doing to him. That way he asked "Why do you care?" and how much it stung her was brilliantly done! And her wiping away that tear on his face he didn't even realize was there? Such a touching moment!
Him choosing to stay rather than try to escape, both because of the comfort Vicky offers and the doubt and fear about what he'll face if he leaves, was such a great way to end that last chapter.
Chapter four was my clear favorite chapter so far! It was set up well by the previous three, but man, seeing Vicky break down a little bit and show that she's feeling guilty about what she's doing was just great! Her getting him that house, complete with electricity, felt like she was coming down off that initial high of dominating Matt and fighting back against those initial feelings about whatever is bothering her from her past. It was a really sweet gesture. And her smile falling when she could see how depressed Matt was about his whole situation was a great way to kick off this more empathetic chapter.
Also, "checkouting" might be my new favorite word!
Now, I notice you asked about what we'd like to see from this story in the end notes of one of the chapters and that a couple of reviewers have even made some suggestions. Am I right, then, in assuming that you are still thinking about where to take this story? If not, and you already have a direction in mind, feel free to ignore everything after this sentence.
But if you are looking for some direction, allow me to throw some suggestions your way, with the hope that they might spur something in your imagination (or, if you just like one of the ideas, feel free to just straight up use it).
First and foremost, based on where chapter four ended, it would be cool to see these two start bonding a little bit. Maybe Vicky starts asking Matt about himself in an effort to make him more comfortable with her. Or perhaps Vicky starts talking about herself, sharing whatever that thing in her past is, which makes her more relatable to Matt, even if he still hates being there. Stuff like that might be cool, and it would help set things up for later chapters too.
Set what up, exactly?
Well, you could have Vicky, either having a bad day or trying to fight off her growing guilt, say something mean or upsetting to Matt in a moment of weakness, either scaring or emboldening him to finally try to escape. Maybe he gets found by someone far worse than Vicky, and Vicky, in turn, has to find and save him. This would let you get some more harsh or meanly possessive treatment of Matt in (which I think you're into, based on your other stories) while still protecting the overall gentle relationship between Vicky and Matt.
The two of them could also kind of switch roles in a way. Maybe as Vicky feels more and more guilty, Matt becomes more and more dependent on her. When she finally decides that she needs to help Matt get his size back, he doesn't want it. So you have Vicky getting what she thought she wanted and feeling nothing but guilt and Matt so dependent on her that he's struggling to remember what it was he left behind in the first place. There's a lot of things you could do with this.
Have you given any thought as to how Matt shrank? Maybe there's somebody(s) out there looking for him. Vicky has to keep her new pet safe from whoever is behind it. Hell, maybe there are more tinies out there to find and/or help.
Of course, you could have Vicky take Matt to the lab like he wants and have that not work out as planned. Maybe they can't help him and he's just stuck with Vicky now. Or what if they tell Vicky they'll help him and then, after several days without hearing from him and finding out he's still "missing" she has to sneak into the lab to find out what's going on and try to save him.
Maybe a group of other tinies hiding on campus tries to help Matt escape. He might not want to go, so they have to kidnap him. Or Vicky might catch them in the act and this could drive the story in a number of directions. Perhaps he successfully escapes with the other tinies, only to come to realize that he was happier with Vicky in the first place.
I hope you find these prompts useful! Great work on this story so far!
Author's Response:
Wow, this review made my day!
Yeah, I'd say this is my favorite story I've written so far as well. Some of my previous stories had clunky prose, or I didn’t spend enough time setting the scene. I'm getting better at that and spending more time planning out my chapters instead of just pumping out a rough draft. I’m often tempted to go back and edit my older stories, but that’s like an artist looking back at a painting they made two years ago and cringing at how bad it is, because they've grown in skill since then. All I can do is keep writing new stories and chapters, and continue honing my skills.
Leonardo da Vinci is often attributed with saying:
"Art is never finished, only abandoned."
This is because there's always room to add more details and polish.
As for suggestions, I appreciate any and all feedback. I’m generally a fan of giving the people what they want, within reason. I enjoy reading all of my reviews, even if I don’t have time to respond to every single one. Everyone has given me great ideas for what direction to take the story.
[Report This]Date: January 26 2025 10:27 PM Title: Chapter 4: Aftercare
Good so far! I like how Vicky acknowledges it’s fucked up but she can’t help herself. I hope Matt starts to enjoy things a bit.
I think you can share a bit more about the characters. We know Matt is an engineering student, and we have a feel for Vicky’s personality, but what kind of lives did they have before they met? If they’re studying the same thing, you could have Matt stay shrunk and help Vicky with her classes. But it’s hard to convincingly write this as a gentle story if Matt is confined to being a pet. His spirit would break.
I think my ideal outcome is Vicky helps him regain his size and they start dating, but he has to shrink back down some small percentage of the time, maybe 2 days a month, and Vicky watches him when this happens.
[Report This]Date: January 26 2025 7:20 PM Title: Chapter 1: Tiny Problems, Big Solutions
I do hope over time she starts being genuinely nice to him while indulging in her dominance over him, maybe even roping him into helping with her school work in exchange for genuine favors like nicer sleeping arrangements, though obviously not his freedom from being her pet.
Date: January 26 2025 6:41 PM Title: Chapter 1: Tiny Problems, Big Solutions
I like how it's going. hope you'll continue writing this one.