[Report This]Date: January 18 2025 6:14 PM Title: Prologue + PEA Laws
Very good start to the story! You have excellent prose and dialogue and I'll definitely be keeping my eyes open for future chapters.
If I may offer a bit of criticism, since you asked, I would probably devote a bit more time to imagery to help us visualize the story. At the moment, I can't even tell if President Martin is a male or female. If a character feels dread at 12 colossal beings before him, he should describe them. If a character's vision lingers on another character (like Darin does with Ava), you should describe what they're seeing.
With that said, this is very well-written and I'll be interested to see where the plot goes. Perhaps touch up this chapter with a few more descriptions of characters or the setting (it is an introduction, after all), but I can tell you have a gift for words and worldbuilding (I love the "mini/many" pun) so this should be a promising story.