[Report This]Date: March 30 2025 3:17 AM Title: Chapter 11: Revelations
I guess I'm the 50th review. Oh boy...
This was a super dialogue-heavy chapter, which screams "characterization" to me. So I'm going to take this review in a bit of an unusual direction and analyze the dialogue and characters specifically.
Ava and Marlowe both have great dialogue. They're curt, but effective. They are not remotely the same character, nor do they have the same mannerisms, so in some ways lumping them together feels unfair. With that said, they largely have the same role in this chapter. They're both dealing with obnoxious, arrogant characters. They both tolerate them while subtly putting them in their place. No notes, really.
Inversely, the dialogue of Jason and Naomi is extremely irritating. It's not bad, per se, because a lot of this is likely intentional characterization, but holy crap... they were so annoying. Jason in particular is extremely hammy. He speaks in constant hyperbole, overstating everything to exaggerate his own importance and intellect. Honestly, when I first read this chapter, I thought I must have missed some events because he kept describing things in the story that never happened, like Ava "murdering people every time she takes a step" or the military "using more firepower on her than some countries have in their entire arsenal." I suppose the latter statement is technically true as some countries have no military whatsoever, but he's really just a douche that's way out of his depth. He sees a few bullets and an explosion and now he thinks he knows war. He might have actually snatched the crown from Naomi in this chapter for the "most insufferable character" superlative.
Which brings us to Naomi. What a self-indulgent, theatrical prick. I think roughly half of this chapter is her tedious, gratuitous monologue. Kudos to you for finding a seamless way to weave the exposition into the story, but oh boy was it annoying reading her rambling. Ava was a great surrogate for the audience in trying to keep her on track, but I really just wanted her to step on the bitch and be done with it.
In the middle-ground, there's Hector. He gives a lot of unsolicited counsel, but he doesn't come across as particularly wise or charismatic. Overall he just seemed kind of... weak? I read most of his lines as pleas rather than instructions. Maybe that's what sets him apart from the other characters in this story, as he seems to be one of the few people who isn't trying to control Ava. That said... he's not super compelling to me and I have a feeling he's in mortal peril. Maybe thematically this sincerity and forthrightness will be what allows him to survive the story. But he gives me "red shirt vibes."
It's a good chapter. Gives us a lot of answers while also introducing new questions. You did a good job of humanizing the characters within the story. I'm not sure if I have any notes, really. On the one hand, I kinda wish the Naomi monologue were shorter, but on the other hand the length and tedium of her performance served the dual purpose of defining her character and reinforcing my hatred of her. She's not exactly a "compelling villain" yet, but I do feel that I compelled to despise her.
Things are moving fast now, despite this chapter consisting of mostly exposition. I know we're probably only a few chapters away from the resolution of the story based on our conversations, but I would caution you to take your time in setting up these developments. "Don't rush to failure" is one of my preferred boomer adages. Things seem like they will be moving faster in an already fast-paced story and while I recognize a lot of this so far is due to Naomi's manipulation, you should take care to ensure nothing is too abrupt or out of place. I'm still not sure how all of this ends, but it feels like you've got a lot of characters to wrap up in a story that is rapidly approaching its climax.
[Report This]Date: March 28 2025 12:11 PM Title: Chapter 11: Revelations
[Repost from sizefiction]
This was a big one, huh. You could even say it was... breaking through.
For real though, great chapter. I know some may be disappointed that it's mostly dialogue, expository dialogue even, but as it happens, that's just the kind of stuff I like. Dialogue has been one of this story's major strengths I believe, a dark horse if you will, and here it's particularly good, especially between Jason and June. They have a fun dynamic. Lot of personality on display too, like I definitely get a sense of Jason's ego. When he first showed up to help in the fight against Ava, I thought it was kind of funny, like he's just one guy - what's he gonna do exactly? But it turns out he's smart (although probably not as smart as he thinks, haha) and his strategy seems sound. I'm eager to see more of him in the upcoming chapters.
I like how reactions to the killing of Ethan Mercer were "divided." But I can't help but wonder how the world reacted to Caylin's murder? Unless that was already stated and I just don't remember. They have footage of it, right? Surely people would be more upset about an apparently innocent person dying than Ethan?
Naomi's revelations were illuminating, although not entirely surprising considering past events. And all the discord discussions trying to predict what was going to happen next lol
I'll admit, when I first started reading this story, I expected it to not have any explanation for Ava's growth whatsoever. It just seemed like that type of story, you know? One that's all focused on the consequences of the growth, but not why it happened in the first place. Finally getting the full explanation is very satisfying then, and I prefer it over any other way the story could have gone. Naomi having pulled the strings all along is just so compelling. You have done a very good job of making the most powerful person on the planet seem so... powerless.
Naomi's support for women's rights was clear earlier, so her motivation makes sense, but I wonder just how much she really believes in it and how much she just desires power for herself. Is Naomi willing to die to Ava if it benefits women's liberation in the long run? If not, that was certainly a risky gamble earlier. All else aside, she's very bold! I wasn't discounting the possibility that Ava was going to kill her right there and then, it was very suspenseful. Perhaps she's overestimating the degree of control she has over Ava? Heh. Another minor question on my mind is: where did she get the other chemical agents that she used to drug Ava?
Finally, Ava's last name has been revealed! o/
And wow, the ending has definitely succeeded in making me excited for the next chapter! How are our two heroes going to handle a mass movement of this size?
> “So tell me, goddess… did you miss drawing a crowd?”
Another chapter ends with a banger Naomi line.
Author's Response:
Aaaaaaa I knew if there was anyone who appreciated that final line it would be you! I still consider dialog one of my weaker points in writing, so this was a very affirming review. I do think it's gotten easier as the characters have developed. It's led to a better sense of what the characters would say. This was a very exposition-heavy chapter, as you pointed out, and I did that because I don't want to the sci-fi explanations to detract from or overshadow the plot or its characters. I want to give satisfactory answers to questions of import to my readership, but my primary goal at the end of the day is just telling a good story and fulfilling the arcs of my little cast of characters here. Confining most exposition to one chapter in a way that served the story and felt tense seemed the best way to juggle it. Thanks for your review, as always!
[Report This]Date: March 25 2025 11:01 PM Title: Chapter 11: Revelations
Despite the namesake revelations in this chapter, I now have even more questions than before. You’re giving just enough information to keep the plot line flowing, while keeping enough things hidden to have me hooked and wanting to read more - in this chapter, and throughout the story as a whole.
Some of the questions I have going forward:
1: Is Jason the villain he’s been billed as, or an unlikely hero instead?
A half chapter featuring Jason, and he isn’t any easier to read. It’s clear he still harbours resentment toward Ava for leaving him in the dust, but he’s now acknowledged that shady figures like Ethan (and now Naomi) made it possible for her to overshadow him in the first place. He also seems pretty adamant on not using lethal force against Ava.
Both Jason and Ava each started their relationship with some pretty heavy baggage that ultimately led to their breakup, but with how each of them have been unpacking that baggage over the course of the story, I could see an unlikely alliance forming down the line. I’d predicted since the beginning that one of the people hunting/following Ava would see her for who she truly was, and be an ally to her when she needed it most. Hector’s come close, but Ava hasn’t seemed to let him in (possibly due to Naomi‘s manipulation). Caylin arguably got closer, but Naomi (probably sensing the same thing) put a stop to that with the sacrificial ritual. Perhaps the third time will be a charm, and (as unlikely as it sounds) Jason will be the one to get through to Ava.
2: Does Naomi have a beef with Marlowe?
I just said that Naomi likely sacrificed Caylin due to her (seemingly) genuine care/concern for Ava getting in the way, but what if it runs deeper than that? Naomi said in this chapter that she went to the police to try and break the story about the growth formula but was dismissed, and while not directly mentioned in the story, I‘d imagine the cops were also informed of (and brushed aside) Naomi‘s dispute with her boss.
If it was specifically Marlowe who dismissed Naomi‘s claims, I wouldn’t be shocked if Naomi decided to make Marlowe her number one target, and used the strategy outlined by Jason in the beginning of this chapter to get her revenge - taking what Marlowe’s built/the people she loves and using them against her, leaving her isolated and suffering. Breaking up Marlowe and her partner, then luring her daughter into a cult, before topping it all off by having Caylin sacrifice herself… seems like a pretty solid way to accomplish the above strategy, and wouldn’t be that hard for Naomi to do, considering all the other diabolical schemes she’s pulled off.
3: Who’s Marlowe’s ex?
It seems very odd to me that Marlowe’s past relationship was only mentioned once so far, and in a mere passing comment from Caylin to boot. Maybe it simply doesn’t make sense to work in more info. The splitting of her parents clearly hurt Caylin deeply (she was probably separated from the parent she felt cared about her more, and stuck with Marlowe, leaving Caylin open to Naomi’s subsequent manipulation), so it’s understandable that she wouldn’t want to dwell on it more than necessary. In a similar vein, Marlowe seems focussed on her work to the detriment of everything else at the best of times, and the mess with Ava probably has her working 24/7 (if she wasn’t already). It’s not like she’d have lots of time to reflect on ex lovers, and probably wouldn’t want to even if she did.
But something doesn’t quite add up for me. We’ve heard plenty about Ava‘s ex for the past five chapters, so hearing this little about Marlowe‘s ex Seems fishy, given how central she is to the story. I’ve got a hunch the reason we’ve heard so little about her relationship (and how it ended) is that it’s part of a key reveal/twist later on down the line. Right now I have no idea whoo Marlowe’s ex might be, but if I had to take a wild guess, I’d say it’s someone involved with the growth formula… Naomi can’t be the only person in the world who knows about its existence and has lived to tell the tale.
4: Will we learn more about the growth formula?
This chapter gave us lots of information about the nature of Ava‘s growth, but it feels like there’s so much more left to be answered. Is her growth permanent? If not, how is it reversed? Is there some kind of reversal mechanism/antidote, or does it simply wear off on its own? If the latter, how long does it take to wear off? The answers to each of these questions have really interesting implications for where the story could go (I won’t get into them here. - this review is already way too long as is).
In addition to how the formula works, i’ve got a bunch more questions that I hope get answered. How large is Naomi‘s supply of the formula? How exactly did she get her hands on it? Does anyone else know about it/have a stockpile? If Naomi and/or someone else has a stockpile, will they attempt to use it on themselves and/or another person? If they do, will it be successful?
5: How are giantess fetishists reacting to Ava’s transformation?
Yes, I know I’ve asked this one before, but I’m still curious. given the tongue in cheek critique of celebreties/fame in the story, and the fact that plenty of famous people in real life have folks posting art and stories about them on sites like this one, it only makes sense to include an homage to that aspect of things somewhere. For Pete‘s sake, we had a cameo from a foot fetishist in chapter 4… We were so close. I’m not expecting any of the main characters to come out as full blown giantess fanatics and show off their giantessworld and sizefiction accounts, but I think including something small would be great.
6: Will Ava sing in future chapters?
Last question, I promise. This might seem like an odd thing to ask, but I’ll ask it anyway. Even before her growth, it was clear that Ava‘s voice had an effect on people. In the earlier chapters, the descriptions of the power of Ava’s voice from simply speaking at her new size Really stood out to me. My interest was peaked even more in chapter 6, when Ava‘s impromptu performance managed to bring out Naomi‘s inner fangirl, despite her Supervillain-level scheming. It’s an intriguing dynamic that I hope gets explored more thoroughly, and I have a feeling it might be a key part of the story going forward. Exactly how, I’m not sure, but I remember Neon mentioning in the discord (shameless plug) that a sequel (if written), and by extension the ending of this story, would not be what anyone was expecting - I have a hunch that another performance from Ava at her new size will play a role in one of the upcoming twists/turns.
TLDR: Great chapter, I have more questions than before I read it, keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review as always! I'd say more here but the discourse on Discord kinda covered it I think, lol
[Report This]Date: March 25 2025 5:07 PM Title: Chapter 11: Revelations
Strange, I feel like I've read it before.
Still, an excellent work, once more. Naomi truly is detestable and yet everything seems to go her way. I wonder what fate shall befall her and how Ava will evolve now !
Also Hector my man, be careful what you eat !
Author's Response:
Lol thanks for your review!
[Report This]Date: March 25 2025 4:33 PM Title: Chapter 11: Revelations
Man, this story just keeps getting better and better. So many twists and turns, I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen next. It’s very well-written, and I could visualize everything as if I were right there. This chapter was great. It answered all the questions I had.
It seems I was both right and wrong in my early predictions about how Ava grew. I had a feeling Naomi would figure out a way to prolong her imminent death. Man, this woman is just as calculated as I thought she was, planning everything out so meticulously.
It’s also great that Marlowe is finally starting to pay attention to the one truly responsible for her daughter’s death, beyond just Ava. I really hope she uncovers the truth for herself. But, man, the ending is what really scares me. It looks like the Ava cult is growing from hundreds to thousands and soon, probably millions. Talk about mass hysteria. But I get it, it’s better to be the right hand of the devil than in her path. I just hope Ava stays as levelheaded as she is now and doesn’t let her inner thoughts and desires consume her.
Besides all that, I can’t wait for the next chapter! 10/10 keep it coming! I’m definitely going to have to read this over again to catch any hidden clues I might’ve missed.
Date: March 14 2025 5:08 PM Title: Chapter 10: Strings Attached
Oh, thatw ent really dark, really fast in this chapter. Ava's not in a good place mentally, and Naomi may be in for some recogning from her Goddess it seems. I wonder what role Hector will play into it. I also wonder why Ethan even believed he could talk Ava down. It was very dumb of him to come.
I can't wait to finally read the releases as they'll come haha !
Author's Response:
Looking forward to it! Thanks again for doing these chapter by chapter. It's been a privilege!
Date: March 14 2025 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 9: What Lies Beneath
I did not expect those developments.
Naomi has a drug potent enough to work on Ava ? Who supply it and who even made it in the first place ? And why ? Untangling this will be interesting.
Ava's mind continue to wobble between remaining Human (and humane) and seeing herself as an all-powerful goddess, and it's extremely interesting... but Hector ? I never struck me as important to her before, and yet he was here in her dream. What did she see that we didn't yet ? Is he the key to her remaining Ava Nova the human, or a dangerous force that can tilt her fully to the cruel goddess Naomi wants ?
Also, that voice at the end. Pretty sure it's not Jason. So I can’t just rule out the fact Ava really is a deluded narcissistic girl just yet.
Author's Response:
All shall be revealed!
[Report This]Date: March 12 2025 2:48 PM Title: Chapter 8: Sanctuary Under Siege
Oh, the plot thickens ! It seems that perhaps Ava wasn't as good of a girl as we were led to believe, if Jason's description of her is right of course. And considering how he and Naomi seems to be very similar, it probably isn't but it would be a nice twist, especially when compared by the evolution of Ava, turning ever darker and more dangerous, albeit to protect her cultists.
I can't wait to read more but I must restrain myself !
Author's Response:
Sometimes it's good to take a break and digest! I think this story in particular, like most serials, works best as a marathon rather than a sprint. I think you'll find some answers to your questions in the coming chapters. Thanks for reviewing!
[Report This]Date: March 11 2025 7:50 PM Title: Chapter 7: Consumed
Okay, the ritual was as creepy and horrible as expected, well done !
And shit, I hadn't seen the twist about Cailyn being Marlowe's daughter. I feel it spells the doom of our dear captain. Pain and rage and hatred will cloud her judgement, sadly.
Still, incredible to see how you weave this tale ever deeper into a sort of psychological horror. I love how, as powerful as she is, Ava is fundamentally powerless where it matters.
Great work !
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing! Size has an element of horror at the core of it. Sometimes tapping into that can lead to some very emotionally-charged scenarios.
[Report This]Date: March 11 2025 4:06 PM Title: Chapter 6: The Protector's Dilemma
Another stellar chapter, hardly a surprise at this point.
Ava does need to eat in the end, and it's impressive to see how devoted her cultists are. Finding all that food and making her clothes must have been extremely time consuming !
Naomi remains a worrying mystery, but it seems she is building up for something big. Cailyn is adorable but I fear for her safety, I could see self-sacrifice in her future.
Finally, Ava herself. All too human and yet all too powerful now. A goddess in the flesh, a young woman in the mind. It'll be interesting to read more of her for sure !
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I think it's good you're taking about a day in between each chapter, that's a good compromise since you're getting to it toward the end now.
[Report This]Date: March 10 2025 4:17 PM Title: Chapter 5: Cult Of Personality
Okay, a lot to unpack here.
First, I love how Ava isn't just some clueless and vapid influencer easily manipulated by someone with more cunning and experience. She can see through Naomi's attitude and recognize a cult leader, as in someone manipulating others. But she is in need of companionship, so she obviously latch at Naomi. Very well written and excellent character development to me.
Naomi herself is a complex new addition. She had a fiery zeal in what she believes but as of now I can't tell if it's real, or manufactured and her real fire being used to banboozle Ava - and the reader. She is clearly a ruthless individual however. She manipulates those people with genuine faith in Ava'q divinity and it rubs me the wrong way. She doesn't feel trusthworthy because I'm not sure she's believing, so to speak.
Finally, regarding Ava's nature. She still gets tired, she can get somewhat hurt if powerful enough weapons were used, but food and drink seem rather less required than they would for a human. So she isn't just a "bigger person" so to speak. Untangling that and discovering the real limitations of her new body will be great !
Overall, another stellar chapter and the reading goes on.
Author's Response:
I'm so glad you appreciate that characterization choice in Ava. Good observations about Naomi, too. Until next time!
[Report This]Date: March 10 2025 7:22 AM Title: Chapter 4: Ava Puts Her Foot Down
Another incredible chapter. It may be the first rampage scene I really liked because she was reluctant to do it, had to do it (or felt like it) and was absolutely unstoppable. Truly give off the sheer power of her !
Also, 500 feet ! We have a size ! Not one I understand easily, but at least now I can look it up.
Calling it now, Marlowe will either die at some.point doing something stupid to Ava or she'll just fall for the new Goddess in town.
Author's Response:
Yeah, the reluctant rampager is a rare treat indeed! Thanks for the review
[Report This]Date: March 09 2025 8:33 PM Title: Chapter 3: Crash And Burn
Another brilliant piece of character works, both Ava and Marlowe. The unstoppable force meets the unmovable object, and obviously shit hits the fan.
I am kind of surprised by Ava going away from the city do easily, but I guess it was more a "let her move if it means we can engage her away from the civilians" kind of move ?
Author's Response:
Thanks for your review! It might make more sense in the next chapter
Date: March 09 2025 11:35 AM Title: Chapter 1: The Anthill
Just read through chapters 1-10, I love the pacing and how realistic everything feels.
I recently has written a character that went through a bit similar path like Ava - grew to impossibly gigantic size for reason unknown and hurting peopleon accident.. She is not a villain and she is not a hero, maybe just how an ordinary person would react if she was thrown into the scenario. She is lost, overwhelmed and desperately trying to maintain her humanity while the world pushes her towards becoming something else. (gotta hate those soldier troops right? they don't know when to quit!) There is clear struggle between Ava's survival, guilt and the disturbing allure of power that is slowly taking place.
I like to think power can not be innocent and when granted absolute power, people corrupt absolutly. It does feel like Ava is heading towards that direction and that darkness is something very unique and interesting to explore.
I wonder if there is going to be more world setting/background introduced in the future? Is she the only person grew and the rest story turn into a more intimate character study on Ava? It could work well but perhaps having a reason of her sudden growth and lead into more twist and turns (idk sci-fi stuff) can make a more satisfying story, also lead to a bigger world building and multiple plot options, just in my humble opinion.
Anyways, good work so far and looking forward to see more.
Author's Response:
Only one way to find out! Thanks for your review.
[Report This]Date: March 08 2025 11:12 AM Title: Chapter 10: Strings Attached
Another great chapter. I fell for the bait and switch, of course. In retrospect, it's impressive that I didn't think anything was up even with how long the story went without mentioning the name of the guy in the transmission. Well done on avoiding any clunkiness there! I should have known my boy Jason would not be so stupid as to confront Ava directly, armed with nothing but words.
The question then becomes, why did Ethan do it? Besides sheer arrogance. We can assume someone else convinced him to do it, since he writes "She played us" before he dies, but I'm not falling for the same trick twice! We don't know who "she" is. It could be Naomi, it could be Ava, it could be Marlowe, it could even be yet another character we haven't seen before! I'm not making any theories or anything, I'm just letting you know that I'm ready for anything the next chapter could throw at us >:)
It would be an incomplete review without praising the stellar prose. It has been consistently good from the start, but I have to admit, it's getting better. It's even more apparent with how good this chapter is despite the lack of the usual characters (besides Ava) and scenarios we've come to know and love over the course of the story. You had to both establish an entire new character and relationship and end it in the same chapter, and in that regard, you did outstanding. I definitely felt conflicting emotions as Ethan was crushed. On the one hand, he was an abusive, manipulative creep that the world is better off without. On the other, he's quite pathetic and sad compared to the way Ava is now. Seeing her strip away her humanity further just to kill him is tragic. Like Naomi says, she still has a lot to learn about control. The past still has its talons in her.
And that is a very cruel way to go too, lol
Author's Response:
Thanks for your review! God, this was very affirming to hear. This review checked all the boxes of how I wanted the reader to feel, as well as what I hoped they might wonder about Ethan's purpose in the story. His intentions and why he chose to reach out to Ava are definitely going to be revealed soon. His death sets a lot of events in motion, got Ava and many others. Chapter 11 will be answering many questions you've all had from the beginning, while also introducing a few new ones to set the table for the climax. That's all I can say for now, but thank you again for your kind words and attention to detail. It will be rewarded!
[Report This]Date: March 08 2025 6:08 AM Title: Chapter 10: Strings Attached
Haha! The 35th review is MINE!!!
In seriousness, great chapter. I could really feel all the work you put into it paying off as I read.
The buildup of tension was strong, and watching Ethan's composure slowly crumble down as Ava gets closer. That gap between knowing and seeing is always fun to explore.
It's compelling to see Ava coldly abusing her power without doubt. Of course, the guy deserved it, but it's interesting to see Ava starting to grasp that no one really has any power over her anymore. They can use fancy words all they want, but they can't actually push her around anymore.
Speaking of: ooh, Naomi is gonna get it. I hope Hector can pitch in with his findings during the confrontation. Things are starting to really come to a head now.
Great work with this chapter, again. Can't wait for the next!
Author's Response:
Thanks for your review! I'm so grateful to hear that the tension and gradual darkening of Ava's character is finding its mark. You're a fantastic character writer so it's high praise from you. As much as I want to comment regarding your predictions, I've learned that the more I do the more I regret it lol, so all I can say is stay tuned and I think you'll enjoy how things come to a head.
[Report This]Date: March 08 2025 4:06 AM Title: Chapter 2: Shattered Spotlight
A second chapter confirming that the first one deserved all the praise it got !
I really like how you wrote the tension in the scene, the difficulty for a being like Ava to interact with normal sized people no matter what she does. Really, excellent !
And we can see that she isn't immediately turning into a power hungry psycho, which I love.
Be prepared for more reviews haha !
Author's Response:
Thank you! I really wanted to break type with Ava. Rampage lovers may find her her discomfort with her new size tedious but I think it's fun to explore how a person might actually react to the trauma of sudden growth. Glad your enjoying.
[Report This]Date: March 07 2025 7:26 PM Title: Chapter 1: The Anthill
Finally started this story and it's really great ! I have just a few questions regarding Ava's transformation origins and her size but I guess both will be explained down the line !
Also, I really like her complex character ! She seems like a good girl but also has darker impulses and it'll be interesting to see what ends up winning in her !
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review! I love that even this late in the story I'm still adopting new readers. I think you'll find Ava's journey interesting. I look forward to your reviews as you go.
[Report This]Date: March 04 2025 7:48 PM Title: Chapter 10: Strings Attached
The plot just keeps thickening! While some of the other twists I saw coming, there was no way I could’ve guessed this bait and switch.
Outside the twist, the chapter itself was great. Really liked the pacing/overall flow of this one. The gory ending didn’t do much for me (not really into that part of the kink), but similar to chapter 4, 6 and 8, there’s something undeniably hot about Ava putting her foot down (no pun intended).
As for where the story goes next, this latest chapter gives me a better feel about what Naomi might be wanting to accomplish with her plan. If Ethan was in fact conspiring with Naomi, perhaps her plan was to use Ava’s growth to salvage her journalism career; have Ethan remake Ava into a superstar, while Naomi documents the world‘s biggest comeback… Literally. Then again, that doesn’t explain all the stuff going on with the cult, and the plans for world domination Naomi had mentioned in earlier chapters; maybe those were all red herrings designed to feed Ava‘s ego (and trick us readers)? Regardless, with Ethan out of the picture now, curious what Naomi will do as a plan B.
Also, still very curious how Jason fits into all this. As I’ve said before, we really haven’t gotten much of his side of the story, and I have a hunch his perspective is key to ssolving the mystery behind Ava’s growth/Naomi‘s plan. In a similar vein, wondering if Caylin’s legacy will impact the rest of the story in some way. I’ve got a feeling Naomi chose her as the cult sacrifice for a reason, and something tells me Caylin was involved with Naomi and/or the cult from the beginning.
Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Oh, you just wait for Chapter 11, my friend. You're gonna get some long-awaited answers to some of these questions. I'm glad the pacing wasn't too slow. I wanted to build suspense with a tinge of horror elements with Ethan hearing Ava approaching. Thanks for the review, as always! More to come
[Report This]Date: February 26 2025 12:01 PM Title: Chapter 9: What Lies Beneath
This was certainly a good chapter, not quite as hard-hitting as some of the more eventful ones, but excelling in building suspense. How deep does the extent of Naomi's manipulation go? What's the confrontation with Jason going to be like? Will Hector be able to warn Ava about Naomi? I can imagine several different ways those questions get answered, and the funny thing is I think each one is compelling. Normally I want a story to go down a particular path, with this quality of writing, you really can't go wrong lol. At least as far as the next chapter goes. We'll see about the ending :)
"She's got a lot to learn about control," is such a good line to end it on. Coming from Naomi, I wonder if it might not seem ironic in the future.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review, man! It's tough to balance action with plot at times, but a chapter like this after these last two was needed, I think, for a bit of a breather. The best action often stands on the shoulders of extensive setup. I'm glad my readers get that and are willing to bear with me! You're definitely onto something there with Naomi, that like carried significance in several ways, some past and some future. See ya next time!