[Report This]Date: December 13 2024 4:41 AM Title: Chapter 1: Support Group
The use of tiny people to explore and develop social commentary is coming into effect here. The support group is such a useful setting, not just to gather and motivate the main characters but to underscore what's happening to the world around them. I'm really a fan of the world-building here, and I appreciate the promise of solidarity in this installment.
[Report This]Date: December 13 2024 4:31 AM Title: Prologue
This is a very exciting beginning. The patina of post-Soviet Russia is a fascinating context to explore on its own, as well as an almost unheard-of context in which to explore mixed-size relationships and interactions. Celina is immediately likeable, a statuesque, elegant figure of grace and a symbol of the former dream, perhaps. I'm excited to see where this is going.
[Report This]Date: December 09 2024 11:34 AM Title: Prologue
This has the premise to be an engaging, very interesting story. The setup is fascinating, and it will probably give a lot of room for social commentary you seem to be interested in putting in it. The undercover Marxist Tiny support network it's a great idea, and the existence of the Malyenkiye works great as a metaphor for the exploitation of the poor and vulnerable by a late capitalistic society. A tad on the nose maybe, but i will see what you can do with that
My main critique is that I feel that there are a bunch of names thrown around, especially for a prologue as short as this one. While i understand the want of making the story feel grounded (especially because this is set in our world in a specific city and timeframe), and they do their job at that, if someone is not really familiar with the places cited, they kinda distract the reader and make following the piece a bit difficult.
Personally, i would have spent a bit more in describing the setting, hinting at the changes and transformations that are happening, to ground the setting more. You seem to be well versed in this historic period, so I'm sure you'll do this later, but doing that in the first chapter would have given a bit more meat on the bones of this prologue, and maybe started to introduce the issue of abuses against the Malyenkiye.
Other than this, a very interesting premise, i will follow it with interest.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading! I went ahead and added a "Useful Terms" section to the story notes. Sometimes I forget not everyone speaks multiple languages.