[Report This]Date: December 02 2024 12:45 AM Title: Love Like You, p1
Wow, this chapter was a doozey! Both halves of this part one were emotionally compelling for very different, obvious reasons.
I love the detail that Mary had to help untangle Clara from Eloise’s hair. Loved that part from the last chapter, and the picture that follow-up paints is so cute!
Mary dealing with the fallout of last night’s outburst was great. The guilt over pushing her friends (ok, friend and ally) away, the pent-up anger building from that guilt and her history, and the fear of lashing out and hurting the others, Clara especially, was moving. I love how clearly important Clara is to Mary and the sway she has over her emotions, like how her touch was enough to calm her down (and I love Mary trying and failing to justify it as a magic spell Clara cast). Seeing these three grow closer is such a treat.
I’m glad Mary decided to and got the chance to apologize to Eloise.
But dang, that ambush was intense. Stephanie and her henchwomen felt like a very classic villain trio, and given how powerful we’ve seen Mary in prior chapters, this scene served as a good reminder of how much more powerful the giants are when they’re actually prepared for her, grouping up to incapacitate Eloise and trick Mary into falling for Isa’s sneak attack (granted, Mary not having her magic equipment could be seen as chance, but Steph was still more strategic than we’d seen her and other giants facing off against Mary before.)
It seems clear this isn’t the first time Eloise has been forced to eat a human, and if Mary bites it here (is that a pun? If so, I apologize), then what a rough way to go. The fact she got eaten by a gentle giantess is so much more tragic than if Stephanie or one of the others ate her. There’d at least be some honor in dying in battle like that, but to be killed by the woman she just befriended is heartbreaking, doubly so given Eloise’s reaction. Eloise having to live with the trauma of killing her friend is fucking rough, and you did a great job of selling her emotional turmoil throughout that scene with her begging and whimpering. Also, I’d be remiss not to praise all the internal stuff here. Really well detailed, especially stuff like Mary hearing Eloise’s crying from within. Mary getting pressed into the uvula and it later resting on the back of her neck were both striking visuals. And her curling up and accepting her fate was so sad! The moment fear turned to desperation and then gave in to despair was so gripping. I don’t expect her to die here, but I can’t be certain that will be the case. If she does survive, I’m very eager to see how she makes it out of a seemingly hopeless situation. Clara’s still out there, though I wonder if she’d be able to turn the tides against three giantesses.
As for the dramatic irony you mentioned, would it happen to be that Sandy, the giantess from chapter one we saw Mary slay, dated Eloise? It’s funny, I didn’t put that together until this chapter because I had gotten Sandy and Isa’s names mixed up. I couldn’t remember the name of Eloise’s girlfriend or the giantess from the first chapter, and thought it might have been Isa, so when Isa actually showed up this chapter, I had to go back and look up both those scenes and that’s when I realized Sandy was both Mary’s victim and Eloise’s ex lol.
Honestly, I think you made the right call ending with that cliffhanger. I’m so excited to see what comes next! Will Mary survive? Will Eloise get the upper hand? Will Melanie turn against her bitchy boss? How long does it take Clara to use the bathroom? I eagerly await answers to all these questions.
Author's Response:
As always, thank you so much for the review! They never fail to make me smile.
I'm really glad to hear you liked this chapter, I was worried the sudden turn for the cruel might put people off. I've been happy to hear that's not the case!
I almost ended up writing out Clara getting out of Eloise's hair as it's own scene, I ultimately decided to cut it (ha), but I couldn't not mention it even just in passing. Maybe it'll happen again, at a more exploitable time where I get to write it out properly.
I'm super happy to hear Mary's emotional state was communicated well! She was feeling a lot of things this chapter and I'm happy to hear they all landed ok. It's a little rough balancing her growing closeness to the others, and the emotional barriers keeping her from accepting that (especially when it comes to Eloise). Mary learning to break through those barriers and truly connect with the others is part of this story's namesake, and this chapter's too.
The power shift was definitely intended. Mary had pretty soundly won her prior fights in the story, and as part of this chapter I wanted to really hammer in the power difference between her and even the average giant. Even if she'd had her equipment there's a chance that that one slip up (falling for the sneak attack) could have ended the same way. There had been a lot of talk about how dangerous fighting giants is previously, but I really wanted to show it as well.
Eloise is definitely a little traumatized. Both by what happened in her past and the events of this chapter. She's definitely going to have a hard time feeling like humans are safe around her moving forward.
I'm glad to hear that Mary's fate isn't too clear one way or the other, most of my concerns around the cliffhanger were to do with that. I felt like maybe it would seem like I killed off a main character and then ended the chapter like a maniac haha. I'm glad that's not the case. Clara is definitely going to have to resort to some drastic measures if she wants to save Mary.
You're spot on with the guess. I was kinda surprised people didn't get it right away in Macrophobia, but it's understandable. As a reader, names can totally get lost in all the words, especially if they're only mentioned twice. But yeah, that connection that they're both unaware of is definitely going to come back to haunt them in the future.
I'm super glad you enjoyed the chapter! Part 2 is on the way, so look forward to it! Just gotta wait for Clara to finish taking the longest piss known to man.
[Report This]Date: November 13 2024 8:46 PM Title: Macrophilia
Eloise walking behind the humans, taking one step every 40 seconds, was hilarious. I loved that scene lol!
And I love Eloise herself! Who'da thunk, this story's third protagonist is as likable as the other two. The giant nerd is super cute, and her curiosity and enthusiasm is a welcome addition to Mary and Clara’s dynamic. I was wondering how she'd wind up teaming up with the Gutter, and her having a shared past with Mary's father is an interesting angle, plus Mary and her equipment holding the secret to Permanence Eloise is searching for. Great and intriguing motivation, and this setting's magic system is fascinating. Love learning the inner workings of it such as the differences between arcane magic and the humans’ prayers. And the different spirits gathering around the characters will never not be a beautiful detail.
Clara's been a sweetheart pretty much since her introduction, but she really kicked it up a notch this most recent chapter. Too many lines and gestures and details to list here where she's just so hecking cute. It was great watching her adjust to Eloise's presence and overcome the trauma from a few days prior (to even willingly step inside a giantess’ mouth! That's such huge progress and shows not only how trusting she is of Eloise but also how strong Clara is beneath her unassuming surface). Eloise carrying her through the woods was already a great scene, but them bathing together was too adorable. The boob stuff was excellent, as it ought to be, but I loved Eloise sniffing her to get her scent. So many great details from the characters’ body heat, to the effects Eloise's breathing and sniffing had on Clara, to the regular reminders that Eloise smells like cherries (I always love when a big or giant's smell is described, especially when it's flavored from a body wash, perfume, or in this case magic. It's such a great way of emphasizing the size difference, and you used it to great effect here.). At the end, Clara pouting and storming off to sleep in Eloise's hair was the final adorable nail in the all too sweet coffin. Gah! I need more of these two together, stat!
Janice's part in this chapter was small, but I really liked her inclusion. She’s got a unique worldview that clashes wonderfully with Mary’s righteous fury, and I like seeing our protagonist's beliefs challenged like that. Mary's development continues to be engaging, and I look forward to seeing how her character progresses, especially after that fight with Eloise near the end.
“I'm not half giant, I'm just tall” had me in stitches. I was under the same assumption as Clara, that Mary's staggering physique came from a giant heritage, but no, she just happens to be tall lol. That she isn't biologically Hugo's daughter is good to know, keeps me from getting too curious about mixed size biology in this setting. Though, I am curious about how eating one human can keep a giant satisfied for a whole month. There must be some magical or spiritual element to that, given I'm pretty sure Eloise ate more fish in that one bite than there is meat on a human body.
I knew the instant Clara suggested picking the bone out of Eloise's mouth that Mary was going to return at an inopportune moment and get the wrong idea. I was a tad disappointed we didn't get to see Clara and Eloise talk her down, but given how long this chapter already is, it feels wrong of me to complain about skimming over one moment. On a related note, the details within Eloise's mouse were exquisite. Clara slipping around on her tongue, her crotch making contact, and her fluids mixing with the saliva were all *chef's kiss*.
This chapter was excellent through and through, so to hear the next one is a doozy is mind boggling. Can't wait to see what's coming!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for the review!
I'm super happy Eloise has been well received. I was initially a little concerned about how she would shift the dynamic, but I'm glad it's working how I wanted. It's a lot of fun having the big be the odd one out in a dynamic, switches things up. Her curiosity is also my primary channel for yapping about magic and worldbuilding lmao.
Clara has quickly become one of my favourties to write haha. She's the perfect character to put in situations for a cute and entertaining result. I'm super glad you picked up on the underlying courage that's hidden beneath her meekness, it's one of my favourite parts about her character, and will definitely keep being explored in future chapters.
Fun fact: the scene where Eloise helps Clara warm up in the lake wasn't even in my outline initially. But while I was writing the chapter out, the idea came to me and I just couldn't help myself lol. I'm glad I did write it though, I think it was a perfect inclusion. I'm glad the comically large sniff wasn't too goofy, it was too fun of an idea to pass up lmao.
I was a little worried I went a bit overboard with the scent stuff, so I'm glad to hear you liked it. I find myself strangely drawn to the topic the more I write about it.
I'm happy to hear you liked Janice. I was a little unsure about her inclusion, but I'm glad her philosophizing came off as intended. Mary definitely has a lot of growing to do over the course of the story. She didn't get as much time this chapter as I mostly wanted to focus on Clara and Eloise. But there's definitely more Mary to come, including next chapter ;)
I'm glad I clarified Mary was adopted lmao. I realised it could be inferred, but figured I should clear it up early. It did get me thinking about genuine mixed size children though. I don't know if I'll write it in this story, but it could be cool to have a character who's size is halfway between human and giant. Get in some fun multisize action.
The answer as to exactly how a human can provide a giant with a month's worth of nutrition is an interesting one, that I just finished fleshing out the details of. I can't say too much yet, but your guess is definitely on the right track.
Not writing out the scene where Mary is talked down by the others is definitely a shame. I would've made good character development in hindsight. Though I was really attached to the scene after, where Mary takes her anger out on Eloise, and I felt like having both would have bloated the chapter a bit. Oh well.
Thank you so much for the continued support! And yeah, next chapter is gonna be long and it's gonna be intense. Thus it'll probably take me longer to get just right. Though if I'm on my game it'll definitely be out within the month.
Until next time!
[Report This]Date: November 12 2024 7:43 PM Title: Macrophilia
the servants/slaves were all vored because of the food crisis?
Author's Response:
Really good guess! I can't say too much about why - yet - but I like the way you think, so 3.5/5
Thanks for the review!
[Report This]Date: November 10 2024 7:32 PM Title: Rightfully
This is quickly becoming one of my top of all time stories on this site. I love all the characters and their interactions, I love the world building, I love the plot, and it's all wrapped in a very pleasant writing style.
More specifics:
I adore the fact that Clara's perspective is so coloured by spirits. It's such a nice touch and both adds to the world and lets us in on a different way of perceiving emotion and feeling.
I saw the trans tag and was a bit worried given how fetishized things usually are, but this story treats Mary as a person first and foremost. Thank you.
Eloise and Clara are the perfect duo. I can't wait to see how their relationship unfolds. I get the feeling Eloise ate a human once and has regretted it ever since, or perhaps that woman Stephanie said Eloise was sleeping with ate a human who Eloise was close to, betraying her trust. I look forward to seeing how things evolve as truths are revealed. I also look forward to Clara seeing lust spirits for the first time :p
As with all tales of revenge, I wonder what will happen to Mary once it's all over. Given she just pushed both Clara and Eloise away, and that Clara and Eloise seem to be developing feelings, it seems likely she will end up alone. I hope she realizes this before it's too late. God this story is good
In addition to all that, it's clear you are a massive language nerd and I respect that.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much again! I'm honoured you think so highly of my work.
I definitely have a lot of fun coming up with all the different spirits that Clara sees. In truth, they're heavily inspired by the Spren from The Stormlight Archive, which I definitely recommend giving a read if you like that sort of thing.
I was a little nervous to finally address Mary's transition. I think part of its inclusion as a topic is me exploring my feelings surrounding my own transition, so I'm glad it came out well.
Writing Eloise and Clara's interactions is a ton of fun. Clara definitely has a lot of complex feelings to figure out now lol. Without saying too much, your theory is pretty good ;) You've recognised a few key elements, so I give it a 4/5.
Mary is definitely one of the more complex characters in the story. You're right in pointing out that without her connections to others, she might end up with nothing left once it's all over. We'll have to see if she can overcome her powerful grudge and embrace the people around her.
You're also totally right, I find the interplay between cultures super fascinating, and exploring it in fantasy settings is so much fun.
Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
[Report This]Date: November 06 2024 11:25 AM Title: Rightfully, p2
This story is really good! I'm loving the slow build, and your prose is beautiful. Your attention to detail really elevates each scene to the point that chapter 2, a chapter that's composed almost entirely of a couple characters sitting in a room talking, never feels boring thanks to the descriptions of the character’s expressions and the space around them. Even if there isn’t much “action” here, the movements of the characters and the progression of the scene still flows really well.
I’m loving Mary and Clara’s dynamic (I read a little bit into chapter 3, but I figured I had enough to say to leave a review here first before catching up), the hardened, stoic warrior and the green but eager healer. They play really well off each other, and I like their character designs (Clara’s scarring from being eaten makes for a striking visual). I’m curious to learn more about this world’s magic system with Clara able to see all those spirits in the forest. That was another cool visual element, all the brightly lit sprites running around. Feels like something I’d see in a Ghibli movie. The anger spirits gathering around Mary only to disperse when she looked back at Clara was a great moment.
I have my theories regarding Mary’s father. The way you describe his death those few times stood out to me, how the giantess “ran him through” and “cut him down.” I’d expect him to get stepped on or eaten, but it sounds like the giantess slayed him with a weapon. And there’s the fact Clara is amazed by the magic he was capable of. I don’t have a full enough grasp on this world’s magic system yet to say anything definitive, but I get the feeling Mary’s father isn’t exactly human, maybe he’s a bit more than that. Very curious. Very curious indeed.
Also, the translator’s notes at the bottom are such a fun inclusion. That’s also a clever way to work around some of the quirks of writing fantasy, (like characters referring to real world elements like Earth or Achilles). I particularly liked the clarification back in Ch. 1 regarding the giantess referring to humans as “bugs.” I didn’t pay it much thought while reading, but yeah it would be weird for a race of giants to use that as a derogatory term when actual bugs probably aren’t all that perceptible to them. (I suppose the human equivalent would be calling tinies “bacteria” or “microbes,” which could work, but it would be odd to hear in a fantasy setting).
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! Reviews like this mean the world to me, seriously.
I'm so glad chapter two was still engaging, I was a little worried the slower pace compared to the opening chapter would put some people off. I'm happy to hear the character dynamics are working too, having characters bounce off one another is super fun to write. Clara's scars is pretty important to me for this story, so I'm glad it lands well. I'm trying to take the consequences of character's actions a lot more seriously in this one, so it serves as a constant visual reminder.
I'm super happy to hear that moment with the rage spirits landed well! It's one of my favourite bits of Mary's character I've come up with so far.
I won't say anything specific in regards to Mary's father to prevent spoilers, but I'm glad the intrigue landed well. Good job picking up on the word choice surrounding how he died, too. I was wondering if people would notice that.
I've been super happy all the worldbuilding is well received! I'm obsessed with it so there'll be more to come haha.
Thanks so much for reading!
[Report This]Date: October 27 2024 7:37 AM Title: Rightfully
Really interested in this story, your story telling is phenomenal. Love it so far keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying so far. I've got a lot more planned, so stay tuned!
[Report This]Date: October 27 2024 6:14 AM Title: Rightfully
Not a fan of all the tags but I can say definitely that giantess-slaying will always be sick. You made me feel something, good job.
Author's Response:
Thank you! Getting my readers to feel something is all I could ever ask for.
Date: October 26 2024 2:46 AM Title: Rightfully
This story rocks. Even beyond the delightful storytelling and language, the highly motivated characters, and the world, the meta world building in the translators notes absolutely tickle me. Love it, hope to see much more!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! You're too kind.
I'm glad to hear people are enjoying the meta world building, it's a fun bit of spice I'm enjoying sprinking in.
Next chapter should be up in a few days!
[Report This]Date: October 15 2024 10:10 PM Title: Rightfully
Great fantasy and adventure/ sci-fi writing here, hope you continue writing more stories. I like your inclusion of details to evoke the feelings and atmosphere of the scenes you are creating.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked it.
I plan on continuing this one into a much longer story than my previous work, so stay tuned for more :)
[Report This]Date: October 15 2024 2:18 PM Title: Rightfully
Off to an exciting start!
Sandy's attack on the town was great, showcasing the power imbalance between giants and humans with some great interactions, but that fight scene was incredible! It was really well choreographed, the actions all flowing smoothly into one another. It felt as vivid as watching a movie. I enjoy a good revenge-obsessed hero, so I'm excited to see how Mary develops. The environmental descriptions and bits of world building are intriguing.
Great stuff! I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the review!!
I'm happy you enjoyed the fight scene. I wasn't super confident that it was something I could write well, so it's lovely to hear. I've been growing more and more attached to Mary as the story grows in my head, and I think she's gonna turn out great. I'm glad the worldbuilding was at interesting, I can't help myself but inject it into everything I make and sometimes worry it's boring/too much.
I'm having a lot of fun writing this so expect a new chapter soonish. Thanks again!
[Report This]Date: October 15 2024 11:23 AM Title: Rightfully
oh man, I love this beginning already. Always a fan of fantasy story like this, I want to see more!
...and I see 'destruction' tag there too, nice...
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm hoping to get the next chapter written as soon as I can. It's so much fun to write.