Reviewer: TerryLarka Signed [Report This]
Date: November 06 2024 11:25 AM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p2

This story is really good! I'm loving the slow build, and your prose is beautiful. Your attention to detail really elevates each scene to the point that chapter 2, a chapter that's composed almost entirely of a couple characters sitting in a room talking, never feels boring thanks to the descriptions of the character’s expressions and the space around them. Even if there isn’t much “action” here, the movements of the characters and the progression of the scene still flows really well.

I’m loving Mary and Clara’s dynamic (I read a little bit into chapter 3, but I figured I had enough to say to leave a review here first before catching up), the hardened, stoic warrior and the green but eager healer. They play really well off each other, and I like their character designs (Clara’s scarring from being eaten makes for a striking visual). I’m curious to learn more about this world’s magic system with Clara able to see all those spirits in the forest. That was another cool visual element, all the brightly lit sprites running around. Feels like something I’d see in a Ghibli movie. The anger spirits gathering around Mary only to disperse when she looked back at Clara was a great moment.

I have my theories regarding Mary’s father. The way you describe his death those few times stood out to me, how the giantess “ran him through” and “cut him down.” I’d expect him to get stepped on or eaten, but it sounds like the giantess slayed him with a weapon. And there’s the fact Clara is amazed by the magic he was capable of. I don’t have a full enough grasp on this world’s magic system yet to say anything definitive, but I get the feeling Mary’s father isn’t exactly human, maybe he’s a bit more than that. Very curious. Very curious indeed.

Also, the translator’s notes at the bottom are such a fun inclusion. That’s also a clever way to work around some of the quirks of writing fantasy, (like characters referring to real world elements like Earth or Achilles). I particularly liked the clarification back in Ch. 1 regarding the giantess referring to humans as “bugs.” I didn’t pay it much thought while reading, but yeah it would be weird for a race of giants to use that as a derogatory term when actual bugs probably aren’t all that perceptible to them. (I suppose the human equivalent would be calling tinies “bacteria” or “microbes,” which could work, but it would be odd to hear in a fantasy setting).

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! Reviews like this mean the world to me, seriously.

I'm so glad chapter two was still engaging, I was a little worried the slower pace compared to the opening chapter would put some people off. I'm happy to hear the character dynamics are working too, having characters bounce off one another is super fun to write. Clara's scars is pretty important to me for this story, so I'm glad it lands well. I'm trying to take the consequences of character's actions a lot more seriously in this one, so it serves as a constant visual reminder. 

I'm super happy to hear that moment with the rage spirits landed well! It's one of my favourite bits of Mary's character I've come up with so far. 

I won't say anything specific in regards to Mary's father to prevent spoilers, but I'm glad the intrigue landed well. Good job picking up on the word choice surrounding how he died, too. I was wondering if people would notice that. 

I've been super happy all the worldbuilding is well received! I'm obsessed with it so there'll be more to come haha. 

Thanks so much for reading!

Reviewer: GoodbyeGlass Signed [Report This]
Date: October 26 2024 2:46 AM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1

This story rocks. Even beyond the delightful storytelling and language, the highly motivated characters, and the world, the meta world building in the translators notes absolutely tickle me. Love it, hope to see much more! 

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! You're too kind. 

I'm glad to hear people are enjoying the meta world building, it's a fun bit of spice I'm enjoying sprinking in. 

Next chapter should be up in a few days!

Reviewer: TerryLarka Signed [Report This]
Date: October 15 2024 2:18 PM Title: ch. 1: Rightfully, p1

Off to an exciting start!

Sandy's attack on the town was great, showcasing the power imbalance between giants and humans with some great interactions, but that fight scene was incredible! It was really well choreographed, the actions all flowing smoothly into one another. It felt as vivid as watching a movie. I enjoy a good revenge-obsessed hero, so I'm excited to see how Mary develops. The environmental descriptions and bits of world building are intriguing.

Great stuff! I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review!!

I'm happy you enjoyed the fight scene. I wasn't super confident that it was something I could write well, so it's lovely to hear. I've been growing more and more attached to Mary as the story grows in my head, and I think she's gonna turn out great. I'm glad the worldbuilding was at interesting, I can't help myself but inject it into everything I make and sometimes worry it's boring/too much.

I'm having a lot of fun writing this so expect a new chapter soonish. Thanks again!