Date: April 03 2025 7:23 PM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
I’ve definitely been keeping tabs on this story and am always excited when I see an update.
This story is unique in that it’s focused on the psychological aspect of shrinking. How Paul sees himself vs. how the rest of the world is treating him. Losing his agency, his humanity, his dignity etc.
id be interested in any of the following scenarios:
1. Paul visits Carol’s home, is treated almost like a human, and is reminded of himself. His rebellious spirit returns, some major conflict ensues between him and the girls. (Perhaps Carol even lets it slip unwittingly that his shrinking is reversable)
2. Pam gets her karma. Maybe she even contracts the shrinking virus naturally and soon finds herself on equal footing with Paul. Being stripped of her humanity and being subject to the monster she’s created in Mary.
3. Things take a dark turn. Paul learns his shrinking is temporary, the ultimate betrayal. But Mary and Pam still decide to keep him shrunken. He loses all hope and does something to make them both regret the way they treated him.
Keep up the good work! As far as an ending goes, I think it might come sooner rather than later. Sequel / spinoff stories in the same universe are better than the ones that drag on forever and never end, ya know?
Date: April 03 2025 6:40 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
This chapter demonstrates the inertia of Paul's plan.
As far as Paul knows, it is not yet possible to reverse the miniaturization, but it will be possible in the future. Giving up his humanity and accepting being a pet, a toy to avoid friction is madness.
As expected, Paul's plan does not help at all and only reinforces Pan's idea and takes the guilt away from Mary for the situation.
In the current situation, I agree with Mary. If before she had doubts, now she doesn't need them anymore. Paul is docile and happy, or at least he is not sad about the situation.
Pan has what she wants, she is increasingly sexually intimate with Mary, and Paul is nothing more than a toy.
Paul should always ask if there has been any progress in the research, ask to speak to the researchers or something like that. Even if he is denied or lied to, it would show that he does not want to be a Shrinkie.
Another ineffective action that Paul should take is a hunger strike. I believe he would fail, but it would be an option. Finally, at the level of despair, Paul could try to escape even if he died processe.
That way, Mary would feel guilty and Pan would have difficulty maintaining the plan.
[Report This]Date: April 03 2025 5:27 AM Title: Chapter 38: Decisions
I hope pam gets a bad ending, she needs some karma. Anyways 10/10 story
Date: March 31 2025 4:53 AM Title: Chapter 37: Someone’s at the Back Door
I miss you, please continue, I'm curious
Author's Response:
I hit a dry spell, but I think I'm about ready to continue so please be patient.
Thanks for the interest!
Date: January 17 2025 5:16 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
Just stopping by to say that I'm excited and curious to read your next chapter.
Date: December 25 2024 1:21 AM Title: Chapter 37: Someone’s at the Back Door
Try dippy.ai. No restrictions on dialogue. You can create your own character there, or ask a character there to help you out. Hope it helps.
Date: December 24 2024 3:22 PM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
I'm 100% invested in this story at this point - so take your time, no need to rush to put something out if it isn't up to your standard or you're unsure of where you want things to do.
I agree that Mary's sudden and violent shift after being yelled at was a little out of character. Being upset is one thing, but it felt like her punishment wasn't proportional to the crime, but then again maybe that's her way of saying she doesn't need to honor things like agency or consent for sexual behavior. But nobody really talks about it afterward, like so much happened in the next 24 hrs that they're back on good terms again.
So I agree, there should probably be some time shifts to account for the shifting relationship dynamics. But what you've got so far is great.
As far as the AI writing prompts go, I know there are some "adult" programs out there without censorship or content limitations. You could try looking into those if Chat GPT isn't cooperating with you anymore. Hope this helps!
[Report This]Date: December 24 2024 3:18 PM Title: Chapter 37: Someone’s at the Back Door
I am having a hard time with the lack of acknowledgement from Mary toward how she has treated Paul for just calling her a name after she raped him. I feel Paul's choice is a dangerous one as he is allowing Mary to move farther away from her wrongful treatment of him and she becomes more complacent toward how so wrong she has been. Still a great story and am anticipating where we go from here.
[Report This]Date: December 24 2024 3:13 PM Title: Chapter 33: Unwinding
I could give her the benefit of being drunk but following up with urinating on him in the morning takes it to another level. This is were I feel the uncontrollable urge as a tiny would be to break down and feel there is no hope and she has lost all love or care for him. And then after this to show anger and dismissiveness of his well being just brings me closer to his horror and betrayal.
[Report This]Date: December 23 2024 8:18 PM Title: Chapter 37: Someone’s at the Back Door
I'm curious to see where Paul's strategy takes him down this path, because it feels like his last real throw of the dice to have any meaningful chance at returning to his old life or some semblance of the relationship with Mary.
The first mention of a way out is unsurprising but I'm surprised how enthusiastic he's attempting to be, I feel like if he really wanted Mary to have a moment of realisation would likely be him intentionally withdrawing.
Being a 'willing' pet, this is just my internal thoughts as I've been reading through but if he decided instead to do as he's told but is not passionate or enthusiastic about any of it, just on autopilot would make it in the longterm incredibly awkward for his owners would be bet at his best hope - essentially allowing Paul to rob all the fun out of the arrangement from Pam in the process.
Like, maybe if he was a natural shrinkie he could've eventually embraced this life - its the fact he knows there is a way out and him trying to give a loving gift to the woman he loved and then having his trust violated, just have him outright say 'yeah, I cannot trust you ever again' but still playing the pet role I feel could cause the moment for Mary to buckle and causing tension with Pam who is desperate to try and get that spark back from Paul to make this fun again.
Essentially an engineered collapse that pits all three against each other.
Maybe Mary and Paul could somehow come to an understanding if he ends up perma stuck but its not going to work with Pam alongside, well at least with her at present size.
Again what I've enjoyed about this story is I really do struggle to see what kind of ending its leading too, it really could go either way and that tension has really made this an engaging read for me, especially as someone who loves trying to 'work out' the human/pet dynamic.
Apologises for my rambling thoughts, looking forward to see were you take this adventure.
Author's Response:
I'm not sure if you think Paul thinks he can be restored to his original size. At this point Paul does not know that is possible.
I've considered Paul trying to suck the fun out of it for Pam, but she would certainly escalate her humiliation of Paul and would probably resort to painful exploits as well (this may happen).
If Mary decides to restore Paul, she has her work cut out for her if she wants to keep a loving relationship with him, Paul will certainly feel betrayed (if I go that route, I have my work cut out for me as well :) )
At this point, Paul considered his options, and, trying to make the best of things felt like his best shot for now, but (at this time) he knows he can't live that way forever, he is hoping to slowly try to change things or find another solution.
Your thoughts are no more rambling than my own :)
Thanks for the input.
[Report This]Date: November 30 2024 4:09 PM Title: Chapter 35: Unpacking the Day
Okay, what an amazing story. I am very captivated and invested into the dynamics of each individual. I will try and only keep this short.
I feel we are at a pivotal point in the story where we could enhance on Paul's feelings and how he was treated by both women the night before. How he has resolved himself into feeling "why go on" Living this kind of life is not what he wanted and him thinking he was giving Mary a loving gift has proven to be a mistake. I know you mentioned his feelings at the end of this chapter with the conversation he had with Pam and Mary's conflicting feelings. I think Mary needs to understand calling someone a cunt (especially during the context he said it) is not the same as the torture she and Pam put him through. Her being in a drunken stupor during the "Ra-p-" and then urinating on him is the most dehumanizing and hateful thing she could have done.
I personally have been stuck with an overwhelming feeling of concern for Paul. Kudos to you for creating a very intriguing and engaging story. Reading through the story I get the understand although Pam has been a bad influence to her she still doesn't want him to become a mindless shrinkie.
This next chapter could be a transitional part of the story although I do not know where your intended final result of this story will be I do think that addressing the true feelings of Paul and her role in this will help some of us that are invested with this part.
I am truly looking forward to the next part of this story and seeing where we go from here. Thank you for creating this masterpiece of fiction.
Author's Response:
I was definitely going for a shock with Mary's response to the C-word, but I also give her some allowance due to being drunk.
Thanks for the review.
Date: November 26 2024 10:52 PM Title: Chapter 35: Unpacking the Day
Since you seem to know where you'd like things to go, I think time skips would be doable so long as you give the reader a good idea of what happened during them. Pam and Mary need time to keep putting Paul through the paces, but we don't need to se every bit of it. Just where they're all at mentally, here and there. It also gives Pam and Mary time to reflect on what they want, and if they even think making Paul miserable through dehumanization is worth it.
Regarding Pam... It seems as though you already know where you'd like for things to end for Mary and Paul. I'm a sucker for drama, so I'd prefer for Pam to not win or lose in any black or white manner. I suppose I only want Mary to win. Personally, Pam's little spiel about being 'practical' makes me hope that she has to put her money where her mouth is. It'd be great if she ended up catching the disease and shrinking naturally. Or perhaps there's a mishap or coverup at work. Misery loves company, after all. But that would also open up a lot of avenues for more 'good' endings where Paul, Pam, and Mary end up happy enough together. Or not.
Speaking of being practical, Mary is going to have to figure out what she wants in a pet sooner than later. She takes to being cruel easily enough, but she's clearly uncomfortable with the fact it's Paul. And she'd clearly prefer to have a willing and affectionate toy than a miserable and morose one that she needs to abuse into line. She needs to wise up to the fact that Pam is egging the abuse on, and that maybe it's time for the carrot rather than the stick. If you have Paul convinced it's permanent, maybe make him love his new situation rather than mindlessly continuing to kick him while he's down. Another review made a good point: she's seen how fun happy shrinkees are. She should want to try and figure out how to get there.
I think the fact that Pam has seemingly overlooked Mary's ability to listen in on their talks through the phone is pretty huge. It opens up opportunities for Mary to overhear things that might change her outlook on the situation. Pam is the type to brag and is quite the liar, after all. And it simply works to humanize Paul in Mary's eyes, as she can listen to whatever he gets up to through the day.
You should take your time to write the story that you want. I think it's great you're taking input from reviews, but caution against changing your story to suit others too much. You could always do alternate endings or "what-if's" if you really wanted to.
Author's Response:
Yeah, Mary is going to have to stop waffling at some point. Still not sure how Pam is going to come out of all of this. It's very tempting to shrink her :)
I'll definitely write what I want, but some of the ideas that have come out of these reviews have been great. I think I said this before, but I had rough plan when I started, but some of the ideas and analysis I have read here has been enlightening.
Thanks for commenting!
Date: November 26 2024 12:56 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
First of all, I love the story from the fetish point of view, and from that point of view, it's the best story on the board at the moment. Regarding the logic and cohesion of the story: According to the contract that Paul signed, he would be in the care of the company and at the end of the experiment he would be returned to his normal size, right? But Pam asked Leslie for a favor so that Paul could stay with Mary. The people who know the content of the contract are: Pan, Mary and Leslie. If the three of them ignore the contract and keep Paul as a Shrinkie, the only way for him to return to normal would be an audit, which would be terrible for the lives of the three women who would have to answer for their crimes. (The company still has a chance to take a lesser lawsuit.) If Mary doesn't want to return Paul to his normal size, in theory Leslie has to report the fact to the company or she will be an accomplice to the crime. (Leslie still has a chance of not going to jail.) If Mary wants to return Paul to his normal size, considering everything she has done, the least Paul would do would be to demand the maximum penalty against all those involved, possibly imprisonment of the three women and a large compensation from the company. The only one who can still get away with this crime if she frees Paul is Leslie. In her text, Pam says that Mary does not want to hurt Paul and that she is careful, but she gave him two flicks that made him fly all over the bed (I don't know how he didn't get hurt, because he must have been hurt by that). I am now certain that Mary does not like Paul and that she is as, if not more, evil than Pam. After beating him and keeping him in a jar of urine all night, forcing him to stay awake and stand up the next morning, she urinated on him again and made him wait until she finished her coffee to finally stop the torture when she clearly was not under the influence of alcohol. I'm sure that Mary no longer has any affection for Paul, only a feeling of possession. Paul doesn't seem to be adapting and from what I've seen, the most they're going to get is resignation and hatred, which makes it impossible for Mary to free him because even she knows that Paul will abandon her and she hasn't thought about that yet, but she'll go to jail at the very least.
Author's Response:
I know it is weak from a true legal standpoint, and after all this is a work of fiction, but recall that Leslie contacted the company's legal department and determined that since Paul was put into Mary's custody and the government has him registered as a shrinkie, once the contract runs out, he is Mary's property to do with what she will (be that keep him small or restore him).
Your comments about Paul hating Mary and certainly Pam is one of the conundrums I am wrestling with. I may not be conveying the idea as well as I like, but Mary is conflicted about Paul. She still loves him, but she wants a shrinkie very badly and the fact that SHE knows that it could be temporary and that Paul does not, is a real problem for her. Pam's influence certainly does not help, nor the way their society treats shrinkies. If I decide to have Paul restored, how does he react to Mary and Pam? If he stays small (could be Mary's choice, might be Paul's, don't know yet) then what kind of relationship do they have? Those are some of the possible endings. I still want to work in some more "adventures" along the way though :)
By the way, for others reading this, I still have not determined how Pam will come out in all of this (e.g. She comes out on top, she loses big time, she has to move on...)
I would love to hear any other scenarios that some of you may have considered. When I first started this and I read some of the comments, it gave me some ideas that I had not considered. Also some of you have given me some insight into what I have posted that I did not realize was actually there, some of it caused me to slap my forehead wondering why I had not realized them myself!
Thanks again for the comments/reviews!
[Report This]Date: November 26 2024 12:35 AM Title: Chapter 35: Unpacking the Day
Holy shit did things go from bad to worse for Paul in a hurry!
I do like how there's still some hope, as Mary was starting to come back to her senses a little bit at the very end there, even if she was still buying into Pam's excuses as she answered Paul (no Pam, rape isn't okay just because the victim isn't physically harmed). I do get why Pam's perspective is making her think, though. Mary's brain is torn between the fact that Paul is a shrinkie with no rights and the fact that he's, at the same time, really the same guy he's always been. It only makes sense that, after hearing Paul's perspective on things, she'd start to realize that what they did when they came home from their girls' night wasn't right.
And her making the distinction that it would've been fine if he was into it shows that, deep down, she recognizes that he really is still a person, even if her lust and roommate keep telling her otherwise. Consent isn't really something you worry about with a sex toy; that's for people.
That being said, Mary got pretty dark in this batch of chapters. I never would have thought she'd piss on Paul, let alone trap him in a jar of Pam's and her piss overnight and top it off in the morning. Paul saying that admittedly terrible word really set her off, and that seemed to carry over into the Shrinkie Haven trip to some extent. Seeing that out of the one person you thought still cared about you (I'm not saying she doesn't anymore, but it's hard to see him believing that she does) has to be so demoralizing, so it's understandable that he'd want some alone time to process everything.
That being said, now that Mary's calmed down, I'm wondering if Pam is about to push her too hard with this "firm hand" business. Mary's fighting it a little bit, but she feels remorse for what she's done even beyond the nasty stuff we already talked about here. She's starting to realize that she's actually stripping away who Paul is, and she doesn't like that at all. That was my biggest takeaway from all of these new chapters. Pam is quite influential, but can she fundamentally change who Mary is as a person just by using Mary's desire for a shrinkie? That's the big question.
I'm also wondering when and how the higher settings on that shock collar are going to be used. It's definitely coming. Is Pam going to use it behind Mary's back, or will she convince Mary to do it herself? Maybe if Paul doesn't come out from under that dresser on his own, one of them ends up doing it, or perhaps that's not coming until somewhere down the road. Either way, I'm already feeling terrible for Paul.
These were more great additions to your excellent story! I look forward to seeing where you go next with this, even if it ends up taking you a while to figure it out!
Date: November 10 2024 9:11 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 32 added an element that caught my eyes, and I wonder if Mary will realise it later on, tinies being treated as people, and yet behaving obediently, and even being enthusiastic about their situation.
With how things are heading, I wonder how Paul will react to being rapped by his tormetor and his now ex girlfriend, I'm really curious about the outcome of that situation!
Reply to your responce (thank you for being this interactive btw):
The dumbing down infuriates me more than the plot, Paul not even pointing out that everything was Pam idea, and that she deliberately led him to believe he could be grown back, is something I have a hard time to swallow. And Mary is... hard to understand, I feel like she's deliberately ignoring the damage she's causing for her own personal gain, while also feeling bad about it. She's naive but also incredibly selfish.
I'm glad you're considering Paul being suicidal, because it's honestly the most realistic reaction in my opinion, it's the only control he has left, and probably the only thing that could make Pam understand she's going WAY too far.
I think that you're doing fantastic work as an author, you're writing a story that pull people into it, and I see that many people have their own wish for the way this story will go. It's a hard challenge to keep your own view when everyone is chipping in, and so I wish you courage!
For my own mental health, I hope that Paul gets an ending that's... just. Not necessarily happy, but one where he is no longer the victim of unrelenting emotional torture, and were Pam gets some karma. That might be wishfull thinking from me, but I got a bit too much sympathy for Paul to not be wishfull!
[Report This]Date: November 10 2024 7:48 AM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
Not really a review since a lot has already been said by others, your works are interesting.
From the previous story and this one I can tell you have a fetish for tiny men in a cage having their heart broken by indifferent girls. I got you!
So personally, I want Paulie to be more and more belittled, until he becomes a mindless shell of his former self. I really want him to suffer and cry, until he has no more tears, falling deeper and deeper into this hell. His pleads ignored. His brain must rot in pain at the sight of the two women fondling above his empty cage.
Forever deprived of sex and love.
Forced to a basic hamster existence.
That's what I hope for Paulie, dear writer. No happy endings
[Report This]Date: November 09 2024 2:38 AM Title: Chapter 32: Trip The Light Fantastic
I was thinking about other options for Paul. He has a phone and presumably the internet. Maybe he could get someone to come take him away. I saw people talking about family as an option, but maybe instead he finds an enthusiastic microphile. It would be dramatic to see Paul tell his decision to Mary that he's leaving her. I wonder if she might then reveal to him that he can be regrown.
Author's Response:
Remember, in this society shrinkies are treated as property and Paul has been registered as owned by Mary. Also don't forget that his mother would at best lock him away from all contact with the rest of the world, if not just outright kill him. To her he is an embarrassment to the family and erasing him from existence would be her preference. However, I'm not ruling some member of the family getting custody (legal or otherwise) at some point. Stealing him from Mary would be difficult since he is registered and chipped. He may at some point reach out to someone via his phone. I intend for him to keep his phone, otherwise he would be in what would amount to solitary confinement and that plays a real number on sanity, which both Mary and Pam understand. They may take the phone away temporarily at some point as punishment, but not permanently. Plus Pam has spyware on his phone and she doesn't want to lose the advantage of tracking his activity.
Hope you are enjoying the story thus-far.
[Report This]Date: October 25 2024 3:40 PM Title: Chapter 31: The Conversation
I feel like too many reviewers are expecting for things to get better/for there to be a happy ending. I think we might get a bittersweet one, at best. Even a “happy” ending would likely be pretty complicated. Probably more like “at peace with things that are morally grey and imperfect.” There isn’t a gentle tag on this story, folks. Paul could end up a mindbroken slave to two bitchy and mean owners that no longer care for him at all by the end, though I’d hope not.
You‘ve managed to write characters that are frustrating to read, which is a good thing. Paul is frustrating because he’s stupid and caused all of his own problems - which is very human, and you can’t help but sympathize with him (to an extent, eventually the stupidity will become tiresome). Mary is frustrating because she’s gullible and selfish, but she isn’t violently cruel or heartless - I feel like a blowup is building with her, she’s been too passive of a character. Pam is frustrating because she’s constantly getting away with everything and is frankly a bitch, but you see glimpses of doubt and guilt in her. It feels like Pam has lost control of things, and like her house of cards is shaking as she keeps trying to force things forwards.
It does seem as if fate is bending itself to be convenient for Pam. Which happens a lot in size stories, because lmao. Every time Mary seems to start to catch on to her manipulations, it kind of goes nowhere. If you have keep having Pam ‘win’ nonstop, it might get kind of stale.
It will be deeply dissatisfying if the story ends without Pam getting any sort of comeuppance or blowback. But hey, that might kind of be the point. Most giantess stories don’t exactly end up “fair”. Compared to many other tinies in their own stories, Paul has a pretty nice life and it might even be pleasant (from some giantess fans’ perspectives, anyways) if he just “gave up” being human and his personhood - not a huge deal, right? Better than being slop stewing in a stomach. Even so, I’m holding on to the hope that if Pam manages to fully ‘corrupt’ Mary, she herself might end up with a worrying diagnosis and bit less height… Mary would love having two shrinkies, right? It’d be a very fitting reward for Pam after all her hard work manipulating things. I can’t decide if it’d be funnier if she shrank to being shorter than Paul, or got to keep some height over him. That sort of situation could also allow for a much more ‘wholesome’ ending. Paul could, for some plot derived reason or another, willingly elect to stay tiny with her. Happier ever after with Mary and her two Shrinkies, or something.
A few other unasked for rambling thoughts I had:
A normal man in Paul’s situation would almost certainly beat the ever loving shit out of Pam if he ever got resized, if not outright murder her. That would end with an extremely interesting court case, considering the murky legality of what she had done/was planning to do to him. That could also be a worry of hers in the future: even if Pam softens more towards Paul and feels regretful, she would have to realize that resizing him could endanger her because she knows she has wronged him well past the point of it being a ‘prank’. She has deeply hurt him and pretty much destroyed his life, and is working to turn him into a thing. She should never feel safe around him as a full sized man again, unless something that radically fixes their relationship happens. Or shes clueless and doesn’t understand those implications, which is more than possible.
Paul’s family and individuals with crueler and more violent tendencies towards shrinkies could be a useful plot point to ‘fix’ the relationship between the three. Introducing worse antagonists is always a good way to develop characters/relations. We already know even Pam was pretty uncomfortable with how callous Paul’s mother seemed. And the whole thing points at Paul being more complicated and troubled than the two girls know. If Pam and Mary have to come to his rescue at some point, or can paint themselves as loving and caring owners and the best future he’s got, he might just become more malleable. I do think you moved past the family issue a bit too quickly, unless it’s still something that’s lurking and building. There was like an entire chapter devoted to them feeling really bad for the guy, then it felt like they just started breaking him down again as if it never happened.
Also, I’d agree that a suicide attempt seems likely. Paul is at an all time low with pretty much nothing going for him. He’s seemingly been abandoned by the entire world at this point, and has no control over anything. He likely feels like he has no loved ones and is utterly alone. He’d be right to feel that way. Neither Mary or Pam can claim to actually care for him at this point, IMO. Their selfish and immoral desires matter more to them. He is in a very bad place and probably shouldn’t be left alone. Which really put salt in the wound when Mary, the one who put the nail in the coffin, immediately left him in that state and went to Pam for comfort because of how much doing it to him hurt her (emotional unfairness like that is great rage bait). Not a great look, lady. You’re the one enslaving your FWB/lover who trusted you, in a way that if it got out would probably land you in jail or dead. Even accepting the very murky and hand-wavy legality Pam’s company has put forward regarding Paul (I don’t; it really screams ‘don’t tell anyone about this and it won’t become a problem’ - and mission failed already), the court of public opinion would absolutely be out for blood if a case regarding people being unwillingly permanently turned into shrinkies via an artificial process hit the air. Pam and Mary would literally be in danger. They would basically become the face for a boogieman out to take the personhood away from ‘real humans.’ You could swing it as a way to punish criminals, but not innocent people. Not a great look, and they’re very lucky Paul’s family situation is what it is. It’s almost as if the two are doing something wrong, and they know it…
All in all, you’re writing a thought provoking story and I’m curious to see where you go with it. I think with the characters you’ve written, there are a lot of different directions things could go in. I hope you keep things interesting and exciting.
Author's Response:
Wow! That is a lot of analysis!. You are spot on for much of it. The ending (when it comes) will be complicated to devise. I've also considered branching the story at some point to allow for alternate outcomes, but that too could get complicated to support.
Yeah, Pam gets all the breaks doesn't she? :) Can her luck hold out? :) Mary is complicated in that she has something she only dreamed about, but the cost of it is high. We will have to wait and see if her humanity wins out.
Don't count Paul's family out yet :) (not sure if this will happen or not, but I'm certainly considering it).
Your other comments (the unasked or rambling ones) certainly need to be addressed at some point in the story. I hope I can pull it off satisfactorily.
Thanks again for the review!
Date: October 25 2024 2:45 PM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
This is one of my first reviews, because I just have to say that this story has been a game changer in the genre for me. Usually I'm interested in the descriptive writing, but Paul's story of losing himself to these two girls is a whole new level of psychological anguish. I read chapter 31 and had to go back and read the whole thing!!!
I'm with @Smalltreasure on this one, I have expect Paul to take his own life given everything he's lost (size, respect, relationships, humanity). And I don't necessarily need a happy ending.
I'd love for Pam to get what's coming for being a terrible person. Even if that's Paul's suicide note explaining his feelings (because apparently nothing he does makes her listen to him) and souring the relationship between Mary and Pam.
The fact that the shrinking is actually reversible is what makes this so twisted. Really looking forward to the rest of this one!
Author's Response:
I'm glad you decided to leave a review. I think all of the authors here live for feedback (I have been a lurker here for a lot of years and only started leaving reviews in the last year or so).
Yeah, the psychological anguish is something I really enjoy, but I enjoy pretty much all aspects of micro/macro stories as well.
Like I said to @Samlltreasure, suicide was not on my radar until now, so it might show up in some form another (successful or failed).
I think a lot of people want Pam to get her comeuppance, but we will have to wait and see :)
Thanks again for the review.
[Report This]Date: October 24 2024 3:01 PM Title: Chapter 1: Introduction
First time reviewing a story, but this one really gets to me.
I know that Paul is kind of an idiot for the sake of the story, and that Mary is unaware to most of what's happening around her, but it is seriously infuriating.
From Paul pov, Pam is a monster, she took Paul life away from him so she could have Mary for herself, and is rubbing it in his face. With how he acted before I don't understand why he doesn't directly call her out in front of Mary.
With Mary having just broke up with him, and the prospect of living the rest of his life as her pet and Pam toys, I wouldn't be surprised by a suicide attempt.
You took netorare to the next level, and if that was your goal, I applaud you on your success!!
At any rate, great writing.
Author's Response:
I am humbled that I spurred you into posting a review.
Are you infuriated because the characters I dumbed down Paul and Mary, or because of the story plot?
Paul may call her out in the future (he hasn't thought of that angle yet).
A suicide attempt is something I had not considered, could be interesting (thanks).
I had to look up "netorare" :), yes, I like that aspect of the fantasy, or just basically the loss of control over one's life. But I like plenty of other stories where that does not happen.
Thanks for the review and comments.