Date: September 02 2024 10:37 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Shrinking Ambition (and a Sticky Situation)
I loved the story. I liked the scenarios, especially the humiliation scenes; I believe that the women's motivations regarding what Jack did were interesting at first, but they devolved into pure reckless misandry that led Jack to death/eternal slavery. (If the women are not psychopaths, it doesn't make sense.) I saw that you tried to make Jack a detestable misogynistic figure. (The level of psychopathic misandry they apply to Jack makes him a victim.) The initial premise of breaking him didn't happen, and the idea of changing her point of view about women didn't actually happen, and there is no redemption for Jack (Women's initial award). I'm just giving feedback. I loved the story, I just think the characters don't make sense. Note: It would have been cooler, instead of a crazy legal way of legalized slavery by a contract, for Jack to have run away and been found by Sarah.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I must admit, I did not outline the story. And I agree that the women did devolve into a bit of a couple of psychopaths. You are right about Jack not really being broken, but I think that will fall to Sarah. I also admit that I sometimes felt sorry for Jack, but only a little at times :) . I had a heck of time getting the AI to create "harmful" prose, but as the story progressed that got a lot easier.
Running away and being found by Sarah is an interesting idea.
After chapter 31 I felt like I was just spinning my wheels and wanted to wrap it up.
I would really love it if some of the "real" writers here would take some of the ideas here and make their own version, or even do a complete re-write and make it their own.
I'm working on a couple of other stories, but they still need a lot of work.
Thanks for your comments!