[Report This]Date: August 06 2024 3:38 PM Title: Chapter 2 Hazel's house
Amazing series, loving the idea of being mistaken as an object. Unaware theme is really hot for me and it's the best. Looking forward to the next chapters you add in.
As for a suggestion, maybe being mistaken as a bottle of lotion or tube of cream? Was hoping for feet, like she thinks he's precum/cum is lotion that she forces it out of him with some difficulty, the "lotion" isn't coming out easily, so she plays with it and try different methods to get more out, including using her toes on the nozzle a.k.a. his dick.
Author's Response:
Ngl I had an idea of lotion and or cream but I don't know how to execute that option but trust me foot stuff will come
[Report This]Date: August 06 2024 2:46 PM Title: Chapter 2 Hazel's house
This chapter was good, though I don't like the idea of him taking advantage of his friend. I'm a little confused by his current form right now though. Like do his arms reach all the way around hee waist and grab his feet, which run between her legs? Like did this stretch him out or something? I get that she sees him as panties but he probably also has to be roughly the right shape for it to work?
Anyway, capital letters in your quotes when someone is saying a new sentence would help. Also Hazel talks to herself a lot? Maybe sometimes he can find out what he is based on what she does with him without her saying "Where did I put my..." and explicitly saying what he is. Like if he's in her pants drawer and she pulls him out, probably panties. If he ends up in her bedside table drawer next to a vibrator, he might assume he's a dildo, only to be even more horrified when she flips over and he realizes he's actually a butt plug. You get the idea.
Author's Response:
Fair enough for the first part but for the second I leave that up to the reader get the imagination going cause butts can be big but also small enough too but I'll try and be more descriptive with it for future installments.
Alrighty love the feedback for better quality and I will try and kept him figure which object he is.
[Report This]Date: August 04 2024 7:12 AM Title: Not your [object]
I somewhat enjoy the concept but the writing style is pretty awful and a complete chore to get through.
Author's Response:
Imma try my best to make it less of a chore sorry about that
[Report This]Date: August 04 2024 2:47 AM Title: Not your [object]
Interesting concept and a great first chapter. Looking forward to see more coming!
[Report This]Date: August 04 2024 2:40 AM Title: Not your [object]
Fantastic story plot. I really like the concept, it's full of limitless potential.
Being Hazel's nipple piercing, now that's pretty hot.
One thing I am curious about, will Jake come to realize the curse he read in the book? Perhaps by the librarian finding the open book he read and stating aloud that someone might have read a curse that turns them into objects unknown by the person in search of such an object; perhaps even realizing herself an object she was searching for suddenly appeared and has been using might in fact be the person who innocently and accidentally read the curse.
I agree with the objects Odysseus mentioned, and would like to add a woman's panty, her hankerchief to blow her nose, Q-tip for ear and nose cleaning, cozy slipper(s), lollipop, bubblegum, lipstick, toothbrush, pet dog / cat, and of course her dildo / vibrator.
My only complaint is your grammatical presentation, especially the long, run on sentences; and confusing multiple subject matter covered in a single sentence. Would be great if you could clean up your sentence structure. Otherwise, top notch.
Author's Response:
How can I make it better for writing wise?
[Report This]Date: August 03 2024 8:18 PM Title: Not your [object]
Amazing concept! Very nice. Some ideas:
- A nail polish brush or a toe separator to get him caught up in painting toenails.
- A stick of deodorant to get him rubbed into someone's armpits.
- One of his friends could see him as a butt plug.
- A loofah?
Author's Response:
Oooooh good ideas!