[Report This]Date: May 08 2024 7:26 PM Title: Chaptero Uno (it’s french for first page)
It's great to see more of this setting. I'm always a fan of gentle/willing vore, and I love how casual this world is about the concept. Like, the chef dating one of the ingredients is a fun detail. I also enjoyed Olivia's tentativeness towards eating a Gullie. Her intrusive second thoughts and having to ask Ellie to talk to Ashley made her really endearing. In terms of constructive criticism, it's odd to have Olivia and Ellie's segments in third person perspective and the Gulliveran ingrediant's sections in first person. I think it would read better if it were all in third person (technically, all in first person would work too, but then it could get confusing which character were looking through if they are all referring to themselves as I.)
Author's Response:
Thanks! So the idea behind the first/third person thing was to differentiate between the two (although it did kind of split into three somehow) segments/perspectives but yeah it is a bit weird now reading it back, I’ll probably stay away from that if i make another one. Also glad you like the setting and how comically chill it is, and that the character-y stuff is working out well.