[Report This]Date: December 31 2023 3:52 AM Title: Chapter 1
Very nice story; but you could have described and prolonged Robert's being crushed beneath her foot and big toe in more detail just as you did his relenting his regrets {which you did quite well, one got a sense of his final thoughts being those of remorse}.
You have a lot of grammatical errors, perhaps a few proof reads might clear things up; though your story flows effortlessly and enjoyable regardless.
You might consider continuing this fine story of yours by adding other people she euthanizes in various ways with her body. She states there were those before Robert, why not continue the story line with those after Robert {or in retrospect those, like the one woman, before him}?
You are sitting on a goldmine here with this story of yours. Please consider expanding upon it.
Author's Response:
Happy new year and thank you very much for your constructive review!
I've heard it before that I should have gotten into more detail. I think I'll take that into account if I write a new story again.
Regarding the grammatical errors: Practicing my English writing skills was actually one of the main reasons why I started writing fetish stories in the first place (English is my second language). There haven't been many opportunities for that since I finished school. So, thanks for the hint as well!
Considering that I wrote this story back in 2021 and left it untouched since then, I'm not sure I'll get around to extending it. I have another quite time-demanding hobby, but perhaps I will get back to writing when I have a few good ideas again.