Reviewer: nono1 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: April 06 2017 2:06 AM Title: Chapter 1

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http://www.coachcarter.com.au/    coach australia


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http://www.hugo-boss.us/    Hugo Boss Store


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http://www.pandoracharms-uk.co.uk/    pandora charms


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Reviewer: SpookyTaco Signed [Report This]
Date: May 21 2014 8:18 PM Title: Chapter 5 part 3 of 3

My favorite scene was Lucy protecting Albert from the semi truck in chapter 4.

My least favorite aspect of this story was Lucy's worsening psychosis. Her thoughts about the pregnant woman in chapter 5 sickened me.

I'm still reading through chapter 5 part 3. It will honestly be difficult to get through the rest if Lucy continues to deteriorate into a sociopath.

However, I have to say I loved her protective relationship with Albert. That aspect of this story (which I started reading years ago) inspired the primary theme of the story I authored on this site.

Finally, you mentioned in a comment on Consequences:

It reminds me of an idea I'm having fun with in which a group of rather powerful beings actually enjoy a level of pleasure comparable to a narchotic whenever they're nurting a weaker being to the point that if they don't have someone to take care of they go into withdrawl.

If you wrote that, I'd definitely read it! Sounds like a great idea to me.

 

Reviewer: Zilla234 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 18 2010 6:28 PM Title: Chapter 1

keep up the good work

Reviewer: Gadgetman Signed [Report This]
Date: November 12 2009 8:39 PM Title: Chapter 1

Man I havent read the story yet but I must say you have a serious gift for writing if you can write a story of over 300,000 words.

Im sorry but at the moment the story is kind of daunting to read, mostly because of he word length and that the story is too cluttered for my eyes.

As a fellow writter I suggest that you split the stoty into paragraphs but also into small chapters because at the moment if I stop in the story and want to go back later it will be VERY hard to find where I was before.

Author's Response:

Well I imagine the story would be daunting for some even if I did split it given how long it is. Especially given that you have no ideal if you'll like it or not. It could easily be something you end up disliking after all and I doubt anyone wants to read a few hundred pages only to learn they hate what they've just read.

 I'll probably make future stories into future chapters as I will admit these days that seven chapters amongst a story several hundred pages long is kind of silly. That will have to wait until I'm done with my current stories though and I doubt I'll go back and edit my old ones it'd just take too long. Though if you want to see it in smaller chunks it can also be found at http://happiest-in-shadows.deviantart.com/gallery/#The-Inescapable-Guardian in chunks of 12 pages per post.

 I'm afraid you confused me a bit when it comes to the paragraphs comments. Whenever I look at the chapters on my computer each chapter is split into paragraphs or they are now. One of your fellow reveiwers had to point it out to me but I got the problem fixed. That was more do to a copy paste error rather then intentional though believe me in my word documents they're split up. 

One thing you may want to try though is what I do whenever reading a long story. I tend to copy past it into a notepad file and then I just delete the story as I'm reading it. Another option is whenever you're finished reading you could just save a few lines and use the find feature to relocate your place some time later.