Reviewer: MicroThaumaturge Signed [Report This]
Date: August 28 2023 10:44 PM Title: Searching for Secrets

I want to start off by apologizing that this is the first of your many wonderful stories to which I'm adding a review.  I haven't read all of your stories, but I have read many of them, and I'm slowly increasing that count as I can find the time.  You are an impressive writer, regardless if the metric is prosaic, prolific, or creative in nature, and I'm honored to be a part of this community with which you share that creativity, passion, and skill.

In terms of the story in question, I'm loving what you've done here.  I don't know how much of the story is laid out by the commissioner, and how much creative license you have, but your pacing and teasing of new information is fantastic.  I'm enjoying these glimpses of the ancient civilization, playing at some greater truth or connection between humans, the fruit, and the Naga. 

The Higgins scenes are a great reminder that not only is there a potentially hostile force outside of the developing relationship between Mika and Chloe, but it hints at knowledge already in this world either hoarded or obtained by someone likely to have a very different interpretation of Chloe's role in things from the one Mika is developing.  The distorted voice not only seems to know more than it has let on, but the hints dropped have me wondering WHAT is on the other end of that connection as much as it has me wondering who.  Placing Higgins as the connection between the MC's and this strange figure's interests introduces a potentially dangerous (and therefore entertaining) variable.  Higgins seems to be a man out for himself first, and everybody else only when they have something to offer him.  Not only does this present him as potentially dangerous to the MC's despite his employer directing him to stay his hand, but it also presents an opportunity to turn him against his employer, as he has already turned on his employees.

And then, last but not least, there's this developing relationship between Mika and Chloe.  I love the dangerous edge to the sexual tension they have, spiced with the restraint Mika is trying to demonstrate, and which is quickly eroding under Chloe's more practical sensibilities.

Sorry for the wall of text; I'm invested in this story you're telling, and in trying to thank you and praise your efforts the above sorta just--happened.  (Side note, is there a way to accurately represent an em dash on this site?)  I look forward to the next entry in two weeks time, and any other projects you are working on in the meantime!

Author's Response:

I love walls of text, most authors love long reviews in my experience!

Anyways yeah Higgins is very much out for himself, but as dangerous as he is he's a worldly sort of danger, like you said there are greater things at play here.

Mika and Chloe have a language barrier and very different backgrounds to contend with, but they're both in the same boat of not knowing how or why they're here.

As far as the leeway given by the commissioner the broad strokes of the story are generally at their discretion, the characterization, side characters, pacing, etc are usually up to me. Thanks for the review, glad you're liking it!