Date: October 17 2023 4:40 AM Title: Emperors Gone By
(free proofreading). I saw a lot of errors in your other newer works too. If want me to do this for them too, I'd be happy to. Once you fix these, let me know and I will delete this post.
Chapter 1
realeased / released
Chapter 2
working his toes / working her toes
red eyes appearing the dark / red eyes appearing in the dark
I’ve love a bed / I'd love a bed
Chapter 3
dragonscale weight too more / dragonscale weight took more
Chapter 4
naturally haver certain… instincts / naturally have certain… instincts
or naturally have, er, certain… instincts
Chapter 5
nostalgia and loss thinking / nostalgia and loss, thinking
I read this as "loss thinking" the first time and was confused.
further into the much / further into the mulch (?) Not sure if that is right.
[Report This]Date: October 15 2023 1:55 PM Title: The Observatory
I love concept of this story; an elf terrified of the mortality of the human she’s fallen in love with. In her desperation, she’s meddling with forces better left alone, and making deals with creatures best avoided. All the while, her beloved human is oblivious to her true goal.
You’ve been pretty busy with commissions, but I do hope that you come back to this one because I really would like to see how it ends.
[Report This]Date: August 04 2023 8:40 PM Title: Emperors Gone By
Finally caught up!
First, love Tyrael and Arthur's relationship. Whenever they're alone together is the best and most heartwarming parts of the story. Tyrael calming Arthur down after he killed the bandit, and her drunken ramblings in the most recent chapter are standouts. There's always a bittersweet undertone to their interactions thanks to Tyrael's fear of one day losing Arthur and her reckless desire to make him immortal, and that underlying sadness bolsters the better parts of their relationship by enforcing how important it is to relish those moments.
Second, I like how constantly reinforced the theme of death is throughout the story. Whether its Arthur's inevitable death looming over Tryael, Arthur killing the bandit to protect the party, or just everything going on with Varnay and the Crown of the Lich King, the reader is continuously exposed to death and that really drives home the desperation Tyrael feels to prevent Arthur's and excites me over what sacrifices she'll be willing to make for him (and how Arthur will even feel about all this when her goals become clear to him).
Third, I'm enjoying the party dynamic. Colin is a fun addition, being the feistier of the two humans and having a stronger connection to the two apprentices (it seems it doesn't take much convincing to get him into the elves' shrinking shenanigans, though his stubbornness still starks a nice contrast to Arthur who is openly into it at this point). I like Naz so far, hopeful she'll have a chance to take center stage at some point in the future.
Fourth, Varnay is so intriguing to me. I'm looking forward to learning more about what his deal is in assisting Tyrael (obviously its to get the crown/its power, but I'm curious as to what he plans to do with it, what his motivations/goals are, etc.). I love villains that manipulate the characters from the shadows, especially when their ruthless, bloodthirsty vampires. I was kinda shocked at how restrained his "services" in the one town were, and it will be interesting to see if he pulls off anything more heinous in the future (or at least attempts to). Also excited to see what costs the Crown is guaranteed to come with and how it affects our party (physically or emotionally).
Fifth, I don't really know if it needs to be said, but the actual smut parts are always a treat. I don't praise that stuff enough in my reviews considering it's low-key the whole reason I'm even here, but all the ways people are shrunken and played with by various body parts are always so detailed, vivid, creative, enticing and any other positive remarks I can't come up with off the top of my head.
Thanks for writing smut so good that I feel compelled to analyze its themes and wonder what the plot has left in store. It still impresses me how well you weave traditional storytelling with erotica while excelling in both simultaneously and continually.
Author's Response:
Death is certainly a theme to this tale, and it casts a pallor over the whole thing really, Arthur thinks it's a generic fantasy quest but he doesn't realize he's the heart and center of the whole thing.
Varnay is Evil with a capital E. His actions are calculated, he's pushing Tyrael's boundaries as much as he can. Tyrael will rationalize that the bandit leader had it coming, that he chose his path, that she's not responsible... but we all know who set a vampire on that village. No evil ever starts by murdering innocents after all. Our vampire is mocking Tyrael because he knows what she's trying to ignore, there is a cost to everything, I very much like the Full Metal Alchemist idea of equivalent exchange.
Vampires have always been a sort of fascination of mine, you can see it in my stories, but the Vampire is a sort of opposite to the ideals of most major religions, prioritizing the earthly realm over the spiritual, trading the immaterial for the mortal realm. Varnay is not some powerful man with a disease, he's a representation of the evils of eternal life. Hopefully by the end I'll have this one cemented haha.
[Report This]Date: August 03 2023 6:54 AM Title: Emperors Gone By
Hey, it looks like I missed an update, so I kind of got a two for one with this one.
The first thing that stuck out to me between these last two chapters was Varnay. Up until the last chapter, I thought him following the group in the shadows was just him biding his time until they get to the Lich and that his occasional taunting was just standard vampiric douchiness. But between seeing him taunt Tyrael about Arthur taking a life and that little message he sent her with the bandit leader, I'm starting to think he might need her in a particular state of mind or something like that in order to do whatever evil thing he's clearly planning to do (we don't really know enough about the Lich to guess exactly what's going to go down, but the inevitable double cross is super obvious to everyone but our titular elf).
Obviously, I felt pretty bad for Arthur having to take a life. I do disagree that Tyrael is responsible for him having to do it, as he made his own choice to go on the journey and to pull the trigger to save his friend, but I do think Varnay's words will way on her. Much like how she thinks she's experienced and powerful to get out of any situation, I think if Arthur is put in more situations like that, she's going to blame herself because she didn't see them coming.
But the Arthur and Tyrael scenes in these last two chapters have been cute, heartwarming, and a little sad. The sadness is kind of an undertone, as her thoughts show that she's got his potential death and presumed immortality on her mind constantly. She feels like she can't even tell him that she loves him (she can't even bring herself to think about the l-word) until he's beyond death (by aging, anyway). It's sad, but it makes sense, as the fear of losing another person she cares so much about (I'm not sure if Gustav was just a really good friend or a lover) is keeping her from admitting her feelings, like if she let herself admit it now and enjoyed her time with Arthur naturally she's opening herself back up to that same pain. That was probably always pretty obvious, but it didn't really hit me until this last chapter.
And it was cool to get a glimpse at Gustav himself. Based on how he was talked about in The Elf is Innocent, at least on the human side, I kind of got the vibe that he was opportunistic and power hungry. Tyrael's memory paints a much nicer picture, and it's easier to understand why losing him hurt her so much.
I like how Elwyn's feelings for Colin were handled in this last chapter. Clearly she's got a bit of a thing for him, but once again, her views on humanity prevent her from fully realizing it. It's pretty cute how nervous she seemed to be around him at full size, and I don't remember her kissing Arthur like that. But, of course, she attributes her excitement to them having "their own human." I'm interested to see how or if this develops.
Elwyn and Tina both seem to show their inexperience in these last two chapters as well. Tina seems to shrug off her near-death experience way too easily, and she doesn't even think to thank Arthur for saving her life (or maybe she did that "offscreen" and I'm reading too much into it). I'm not sure she understands the toll that taking a life (especially for the first time) like Arthur did for her can have on a person, unlike Tyrael, who was quick to try and comfort him.
Then there's Elwyn. Like in chapter one with Arthur, she got her toy after the magic drill. However, also like with Arthur, Colin hesitated and would have had her if he didn't. Both times she didn't seem to understand this, probably because she was too happy to have her tiny human. I feel like this might come back to bite her in some way later on.
Naz brings an interesting dynamic to the group. She hasn't played a huge role in the story yet, but I'm enjoying her bonding sessions with the apprentices. Her brief interactions with Arthur and Colin have been pretty entertaining as well, especially when she vowed to do her best to help Colin "earn a squeeze." She's a fun character, and I'm interested in seeing what role she plays in the story going forward.
But yeah, it was good to see this story with an update (especially since I didn't see the last one). This is an interesting tale, fun but with a little depth and foreboding with whatever's coming when our party reaches its destination.
Author's Response:
The stuff about Gustav in the different stories is kind of a commentary on how various historical figures are remembered. Some people remember him as greedy and opportunistic, and maybe he was to a degree, others lionize him as a great liberator, and he certainly did free some people, the elves made up a legend of an unstoppable elf killing superman to sate their own egos, and Tyrael remembers the man himself.
Varnay is someone that Tyrael thought she could control, but the bandit leader is a little reminder that she can't, he's very obviously up to something sinister and her apprentices, Arthur, hell even Colin could probably tell her that working with him is a bad idea.
Tyrael and Arthur's relationship does have an underlying tragedy to it, but what else but love would motivate such a desperate quest?
Date: August 02 2023 3:29 AM Title: The Observatory
Nooo, not Dust in the Wind! You can’t tease me like that greenanon!
Author's Response:
Okay what if it was Princes of the Universe?
[Report This]Date: August 01 2023 2:56 AM Title: Emperors Gone By
Really been enjoying this one so far. Tyrael and Arthur’s relationship is so sweet. I can only hope things turn out well for them. I feel like the eventual ending may make me somewhat emotional haha. I also hope we get to see one of our shrunken manservants under Naz’s big orc feet. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
" I feel like the eventual ending may make me somewhat emotional haha"
Duuussssst in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind...
[Report This]Date: July 11 2023 2:28 AM Title: The Observatory
Glad to see Arthur living the dream. That moment where Tyrael's reminded she'll vastly outlive him was very sweet, really tugs at the heartstrings. Interested to see where this research mentioned at the end of chapter goes since quests for immortality don't tend to go well in fiction. Looking forward to more!
Author's Response:
No quests for immortality typically come at a cost, as our elven mage will learn in due time.
Date: July 11 2023 2:24 AM Title: The Cost of Doing Business
“Once we get out of town, sure,” Tina said dismissively. She placed the tiny human on the floor and eagerly placed her bare feet on either side of him, “Until then, let’s see how good our newest human friend is at rubbing feet!”
Colin gasped as she snapped her fingers, allowing him to grow back to a foot in height. She pointed wordlessly at her toes, grinning, and Colin quickly snapped to attention, gripping the sides and slowly massaging them as best as he could. The pungent lilac tinged odor of the elf’s sweat filled his nostrils as she playfully tapped the top of his head with her big toe, encouraging his work.
“You know,” Naz said, swinging around and staring at the scene, “I think I’d like to try that too, see what all the fuss about making humies tiny is about.”
“And me too!” Elwyn said quickly, “after all he’s going to be our human, right?”
“Of course,” Tina said with a smile.
What did I get myself into? Colin wondered, looking up at the trio of grinning giants.
Lucky bastard
Author's Response:
He sure is lol
[Report This]Date: June 30 2023 9:43 PM Title: Strength of Character
I know I said that fantasy settings aren't really my thing, but you're kind of pulling me into it with these stories. These characters are a joy to follow, and the quest on which their embarking is an interesting one.
Tyrael is a pretty fun character, as she's an interesting mix of wisdom, mischief, and impulsiveness. And I think that impulsiveness is something I didn't think too much about in The Elf is Innocent, but thinking back on it, it was certainly there, although I just attributed it to less than ideal decision-making skills. but seeing her more focused on in this story, that impulsive nature really does mix well (from an entertainment standpoint) with the wisdom, creating an almost unwitting arrogance; the kind of subconscious arrogance that makes someone think that making backroom deals with vampires is a good idea, but doesn't make you act like an asshole.
Also, I love how her motivation is about as pure is it can get (spending eternity with the one you love) but the means through which she hopes to accomplish this is as dark and sinister as it can get. That's a pretty engaging contrast, and it's already played out so well, even before those two opposites are forced to clash.
And it's nice to see Arthur fleshed out here. He was fun in the little we saw of him in The Elf is Innocent, but to actually see his simple, laid back personality in this elven setting is pretty neat. He also shows that he's a bit quicker on the uptake and braver than I thought he would be as a candlemaker, but then again, he was also a soldier at one point, so that kind of makes sense.
I really appreciate the way that the relationship between Arthur and Tyrael is illustrated in this story. Yeah, this is kind of a harem story, with all of the elves (and probably adding an orc to that mix as well), but I feel like the differences in Arthur's interactions with the two apprentices really serves to highlight the more intimate nature of Tyrael's feelings for him.
I'll start by saying that I think Elwyn and Tina (classic elf name, by the way) really do care for Arthur in their own way, even if their narrow worldview limits the terms in which they can consciously consider this friendship. I also think that if Arthur didn't love the things they did to him as much as they loved doing them to him, they wouldn't do them to him.
However, I think it would only be guilt that would stop them. I don't think his enjoyment is something that matters to them in terms of their own. It's more like the fact that he likes it makes it okay for them to do these things, but they would enjoy them either way, if not for them knowing that it's wrong to do them to an unwilling human.
With Tyrael, I think her time with Arthur means more to her because he enjoys it as well. Throughout the story so far, every time she's done something to/with him, she has asked him questions about it, referenced previous conversations, or done something that both answers a need of his and led to fun for the both of them. In other words, when she shrinks him, she's focused on him; when the apprentices shrink him, they seem more focused on the stuff they're doing to him and his baser reactions then the tiny human himself.
Between that contrast and the subtle ways throughout the story that show that Arthur makes Tyrael happy even beyond her being able to toy with him, their relationship really stands out in an endearing, charming way.
However, while Tyrael's feelings for Arthur are pretty apparent, I'm left wondering exactly what forms of romantic relationships are common in elven society, if any are common at all. Tyrael doesn't seem to mind sharing Arthur (even with a hypothetical amazon), but Elwyn does feel the need to ask Tyrael before shrinking him even a little, which implies some form of possessiveness on the archmage's part.
So I guess I'm wondering if you might provide some detail into elven relationships in this world, unless doing so would spoil something later in the story, of course.
Also, while I'm asking questions, what is the average lifespan of an elf in this world? Are they immortal? I was kind of getting that impression, but then Varnay seemed to offer to turn both Arthur and Tyrael, so now I'm thinking maybe not?
And if Tyrael isn't immortal, but is actually seeking to make Arthur that, then she's really just putting him in the same position she's in now, isn't she?
I can't explain why, but "does their god even lift" has instantly become one of my favorite insults. It just really cracked me up for some reason. Also, just the thought of deadlifting mountains made my lower back ache. I know, I know, you're supposed to lift with your legs.
Excellent work as always! I look forward to seeing with this goes!
Author's Response:
As always your reviews are a joy to read and dissect. I know you don't usually like Fantasy but I've got a deep catalogue of it if you like this one lol.
Tyrael is the inverse of the Dunning-Kruger effect, or at least she's it from the opposite side lol. She's gotten too powerful and knowledgeable for any peers to tell her that she's making a bad decision, she doesn't have anyone to consult on these matters except the ancient vampire who obviously wants her to fall into a bad situation. Obviously things will go to a bad place by the end of this story, a place Tyrael would have easily seen if it was anyone other than herself involved.
Elwyn and Tina definitely care about Arthur, but not in the same way Tyrael does. I think you just about covered it, they would feel bad if he didn't like it, and Tyrael likely wouldn't have taken them as apprentices if they didn't (keep in mind she specializes in magic to counter human militaries) at the same time yeah their relationship isn't as deep. I'll try to get into how relationships in the Elven realms work, there are elven men but as I've said before I mostly like the women so that's who we see lol. Tyrael definitely has a certain possessiveness over our dear former Candlemaker. He's bringing her a happiness she hasn't had in a long time, I will expand on her (platonic) relationship with Emperor Gustav in the next few chapters, and why she's so paranoid about losing a human friend to mortality.
Elves in this setting are "immortal" in the sense that they don't die from age or disease (usually). We'll dive into it a bit more, but average lifespan of the elves is still only in the upper triple digits due to sheer mortality factors, if you look at average human mortality from war and workplace accidents I feel like you get a good idea of the Elves. Tolkien addressed this himself somewhat, Elrond, Galadriel, and Thranduil are some of the oldest elves by the time of Lord of the Rings, you might say Tyrael is similarly kind of a standout among the elven population.
Anyways I hope to see more reviews of my fantasy stories in this universe, I yearn for the day you post a review of Amazon Country lol.
Date: June 27 2023 2:37 PM Title: Strength of Character
So there's an orc joining the group? How long until she gets some playtime with Arthur?
Author's Response:
Not long probably lol
Date: June 27 2023 5:39 AM Title: The Observatory
Off-topic, but I'm a big fan of most of your previous works and I'm wondering if you do commissions? If so I'd be open to commissioning a story :) Will also read this story later.
Author's Response:
I don't do commissions currently, thanks for your interest though, just enjoy these stories for free for now haha!
[Report This]Date: June 27 2023 5:17 AM Title: Strength of Character
Thank you for another chapter. This one felt more wholesome, with Tyrael getting excited about the hypotheticals of what if Arthur had more time, and likewise, Arthur praising Tyrael for who she is. I like the building of their relationship so far, it's pretty cute.
I also dig the reference to the fitness cults God. And likewise, I'm always up for an Orcess character, so its nice to see the addition of Naz, every good party needs a tank after all. I wonder how she will react to all of the shrinking shenanigans and if she'll partake.
Overall, a nice incremental chapter to move the story along. As always, great stuff.
Date: June 18 2023 8:30 AM Title: Starting a Journey of 1000 Miles
Uhh...
Not really seeing the reason for this, feels like a random sidequest that comes out of nowhere like a speed-bump. Weird and out place, though not bad by itself.
Author's Response:
That's a fair criticism, it is something of a detour/side quest to pick up another party member, our Podracing scene if you will.
[Report This]Date: June 18 2023 4:26 AM Title: Starting a Journey of 1000 Miles
lmao, a cult of bodybuilders is not what I was expecting.
Tyrael is being awfully reckless with her decision making. Making deals with a powerful vampire? Going after a dangerous artifact? Trying to keep it all a secret? Her motivation makes perfect sense, but it's really clouding her judgement.
I totally forgot about Eletha and how she reckoned with her own immortality. It really is a bummer of a topic. I wonder how the average elf who captured a human dealt with it? I guess most probably didn't form bonds with humans as strong as Tyrael or Eletha did.
Author's Response:
Tyrael is in a spot where she's been the smartest and most powerful person in the room for so long (like literally centuries) that she no longer has that niggling sense of doubt that tells you maybe this is a bad idea, she just truly believes she's smart and powerful enough to deal with anything that could go wrong.
Given that a lot of the elves want humans as shrunken pets forever no they probably didn't form bonds that powerful. Eletha was an elf who was very much ahead of the curve on dealing with grief, even if she did it in a messed up way. Obviously Tyrael's own emotions on the topic are clouding her judgment pretty badly, something which will come to a head by the end of the story obviously.
[Report This]Date: June 11 2023 11:29 PM Title: The Observatory
Thank you for making a follow up story to the Elf is Innocent with these characters. I greatly enjoyed their interactions in that story and its nice to see it continued.
It's great to see the characterization of Arthur expanded upon here, and I think you've found nice balance with his interactions with the elves. With him embracing his subservient tendencies to elves, and the elves embracing their nature to want to dominate humans, while also showing the respect and wholesomeness on both sides. With Tyrael potentially wanting to grant Arthur immortality, it'll be interesting to see how that pans out. Maybe he won't even want it and will just accept his human nature and lifespan.
I also really enjoyed the foot content here, specifically related to the boot and sock stuff and the in shoe stuff. One line that I really liked from the Elf is Innocent was in Chapter 4 with Tyrael saying “Now human, you will lick every drop of my sweat from that insole and contemplate your place as you rest beneath my toes!" but we never got to see it. Do you think we could get a scene with Arthur being forced to lick the sweat and grime from the insole of one of the elves worn boots?
As always, your stories are always a great read, not just for the smut, but also the interesting settings, characters, and great characterizations and interactions. They're a breath of fresh air to read. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: We've got a whole big quest to answer the immortality question, as for foot content there will be lots of it. Here's hoping for another classic!
Date: June 11 2023 3:06 PM Title: The Observatory
About elves having most magical potential (in light races) in fantasy setting:
While it's correct that on average it's a yes because elves posses better mid-high tier combat power, in terms of individual power, I don't recall worlds (outside of fetish ones) where an elf holds the top tier spot. It's usually struggle between super trained, artificially empowered humans, demons, and a hero. Dwarfs can occasionally make some ancient world destroying machine, while elven thrump card is usually a tree
Author's Response:
Elves here have the best base magical potential, Dwarves have some magic but it's mostly exotic power sources and hidden metallurgical techniques. There are still people and groups out there that an elf would have to be wary of, human archmages can probably beat most elves and demons are always going to be above a mortal in pure power but have strict rules for when they can use their abilities.
[Report This]Date: June 11 2023 12:29 PM Title: The Observatory
The idea of an elf looking for a way to make her human immortal is one I've really wanted to see in a shrinking story, though Tyrael seems a bit too grounded and sensible for anything like having Arthur spend entire years tiny to achieve it and Arthur too into it to really complain about it if she did so I'm curious as to how this will work out.
Author's Response:
I'm hoping it'll satisfy your curiosity, Tyrael obviously is delving into some stuff she'd normally be smart enough to avoid, a vampire being the first red flag lol.
Date: June 11 2023 11:50 AM Title: The Observatory
Always glad to see more of this setting.
I like the interactions between Tyrael and Arthur. Though I don't care for boots and socks. I wish it was sandals like Humanity's Downfall it was based off of. But I still like it far.
Author's Response:
Tell you what, I'll be sure to get some sandals in the story at some point.
Date: June 11 2023 3:55 AM Title: The Observatory
I read a tonn of Isekai novels and in most of them, it is elves who are bullied. Every time, even tho elves tho average elf beats an average human, there are tonns of hidden factors like:
1. Secret human organization that controls every country from behind and has a bunch of different races.
2. Corrupted church that is either infiltrated by demons or researches demons for forbidden power.
3. Last generation hero who went into hiding after being rejected by the world.
4. Ancient magic families, who's heads aren't inferior to elven archmages, their members beat average elves.
5. Some guy who overcame human limits by absorbing dragon's heart (maybe other creatures as well).
6. Artifacts made by heroes, kids who were made immortal in the forbidden experiments, etc., etc.
There's infinite amount of things that can happen to an arrogant race invading human lands. There's always someone above in the food chain. Why is there not a single one revenge story where they're beaten up.
How did noone made a story of some transcendent human catching elves, extracting their magic to make them 'humans' and selling them back to elves as 'human pets'. Revenge stories are always fun but elves seem to just get away with everything.
Author's Response:
The elves in this setting lost the war against humanity pretty badly, to the point where they had to release all the humans they'd captured up until then. They did conquer a few smaller and more primitive human nations but when they came up against the Empire, which has early 1800s level firearms technology, their magic wasn't enough to counter the cannons, guns, and numbers of the humans. It's why Tyrael is so much more respectful of humans than a lot of other elves, she was there and saw it firsthand, and she got captured in the battle that broke the elven army.
As a general rule the elves have the setting's most powerful magic, in the sense that they have the most magical potential. There are still humans out there that can challenge them, but there is a reason the Imperials rely on guns and explosives over trying to match them spell for spell.
[Report This]Date: June 11 2023 2:31 AM Title: The Observatory
As always the smut is incredible, but beyond it I found the interactions between Tyrael and Arthur cute.
Dare I say... Adorable!?
They got a lovely bond there, one that I very much enjoyed reading beyond the smut. Always enjoyed characterization and the characters you write never fail in that regard. Clear to see with Tyrael's moment of silence over Arthur's mortality.
A great first chapter.
That said... That constellation do be looking very familiar. Almost like looking in a mirror. I'd advise staying on that star's good side. Been know for its temper.
Author's Response:
It's a very traumatic constellation to observe! Anyways yeah they do have a bond, they're both people with very strange desires that compliment each other perfectly, it's clear why Tyrael is acting a little more foolishly than she might by pursuing certain magical paths that she'd normally avoid.