Great story. It's cool seeing how the characters' differing perspectives clash and affect one another (Miriel's naivete contrasting with Bertram's cynicism, Tyrael's experience with and respect for humans contrasting with her apprentices' inexperience, as well as how she bonds with Arthur whom actively wants to not be respected by elves).

As others have said, your worldbuilding is great in that you're always giving readers enough to be intrigued by without pushing the brakes on the story to give a lecture on fictional history. I've noticed that too in "Dark Elf's Apprentice," where at the time I read it, I didn't even realize it was part of a greater setting being built across multiple stories because the worldbuilding felt fully realized without having to convey every single detail about it.

Looking forward to more of Tyrael and Arthur, and I'm curious to see how they'll play out as the main characters in their story.

This was a pretty fun read, and that's coming from someone who isn't a huge fan of the fantasy genre. That's not to say I hate it; I've seen plenty of fantasy stories that I thought were pretty good. However, I find that a lot of them tend to get too wrapped up in their own lore for my liking, as this takes time away from the elements of stories that I like.

That wasn't the case with this story, though.

As I've said before, you really have a way with worldbuilding. It's really incredible how you can introduce so much about a setting while developing characters and moving plots forward, as opposed to having to stop and write a long narrative or clunky expositional dialog to familiarize the reader with the world and its history. I'll probably never shut up about that, because I never stop being impressed by it, so sorry, I guess?

I think maybe the best example of this is the start of chapter 4, when Shelby is "interrogating" Miriel. The way that Shelby explains the real reason why Gustav set his army against the elves and his place in human history was a huge piece of backstory for the world, but really, that interaction is all about Miriel facing the reality of the history between the two races and realizing that most of what she was told about the war was a lie borne from elven arrogance. And, of course, the casual way in which Shelby tells her this both shows off her personality and really emphasizes the place elves hold in human history. There's so much packed into that one exchange, but it didn't feel burdensome at all to read.

I think the two versions of the elven invasion story hits on a significant theme of this story: how ignorance can lead to misconceptions. Because humans and elves didn't seem to interact much since the invasion, that lie that some elves clearly told themselves to make them feel better turned into reality for those weren't around for the war itself, like Miriel. If she hadn't vastly overestimated the role that elves held in human history, she may never have felt the need to try to fix things between the two races in the first place.

Likewise, humans naturally assume that all elves want to shrink down humans and keep them as pets, which obviously isn't the case, based on our main characters here. But this dark perception of elves also shows us a lot about both Bertram and Shelby.

The fact that Bertram is so quick to realize that Miriel actually means no harm (even if some of those other elven stereotypes are a little harder for him to shake) shows us that he's a good-hearted person, despite his criminal background. And while its funny that Shelby can't see how obvious it is that Miriel is the elf, it actually makes a lot of sense, since Miriel is a kind, innocent person and Shelby can't move past her view that elves are horrible creatures that only want to turn humans into unwilling sex toys. It's hard to for anyone to view Miriel as the latter, especially when Shelby did more to "corrupt" her than growing up in the elven empire ever did.

But it was also those misconceptions between humans and elves that allowed Nen to manipulate things so easily. I also thought she was a great villain for a lighthearted story like this one. She's cutthroat enough to kill off a prospective business partner, but her goals are pretty down to earth. She causes so much chaos just to make sure her smuggling operation runs smoothly. In a way, that may be more evil than trying to conquer the kingdom or summon some ancient power for nefarious purposes. It's just so selfish, and for such a small purpose!

I like what Tyrael brought to the story. Getting an elven perspective more experienced with humans was pretty interesting, as was getting some background into elven politics. Her respect for humans and her playful nature toward them makes for an interesting contrast in her personality as well. Also, despite her age, her decision-making doesn't always seem to be the best. I'm not sure ding-dong ditching a travel bag of tiny humans on the army's doorstep would have been the best idea. And then there's the way she exposed her sister to Shelby.

Tyrael: Let's use a spell to look like humans because it would be bad if they found out we were here.

Also Tyrael: Oh look, there's my sister clearly in disguise next to an elf-hunting inquisitor who's calling her a human. Let me just clear up that bit of confusion for her.

Probably not her best moment. Still, she was a really likeable character, and her interactions with both her apprentices and Arthur were pretty adorable. Seeing as how the story you're writing now has Tyrael in the title, I'm assume our favorite ex-candlemaker factors into that tale prominently as well?

But yeah, overall this story was light and it made me laugh a lot. That's usually the style of fantasy I can get into. I see in the reviews that you've already written a couple of other stories that take place in this world, and this one makes me want to check them out as well.

Fun story, Shelby and Miriel are real goofballs. Tyrael too, with how she tried to coax the farmer out of his house lol

Lots of interesting information about the elves. So if I have things straight, there are two main factions: the stereotypically cruel winter court, who wants to shrink and enslave humanity, and the summer court, who...well, would still like to shrink humanity if they could get permission, but only because they think tiny humans are cute and it would be for the best for everyone. 

If the friendly elves want more humans, all they really need to do is fix their PR problem after the civil war. There probably wouldn't be a shortage of volunteers if people knew they would be pampered and well taken care of by the elves. Same with most species in this setting, now that I think about it. Find a way to persuade men they're not as scary as they look or as dangerous as their reputation, and plenty of men would happily be husbands/lovers/pets/etc.

I love how innocently naive Mirael is. Bless her.

And oh how I envy that candlemaker, absolutely living the dream. Lucky son of a...

Hopefully he and Tyrael show up again, I'd love to read about some political intrigue and internal conflict in the eleven lands. Especially the opposing ideologies and factions clashing over "the human question", are they potential friends and trading partners or a rising threat to be... stomped out? Plus I'm sure there are those in between who simply want more pets (trained to make an elf climax in a minute or less).

Also I like to imagine Arthur actually making good on his promise and coming to Tyrael's rescue with a sword or musket in the future.

“Maybe we should give it a try sometime,” Bula chuckled.

I wish that she was able to play with a shrunken man also. I've been hoping to see some female orc/shrunken man action.

Also, will we be seeing Tyrael play with Arthur in the last chapter?

"“W-What fantasy!?” Miriel shrieked, gripping her shit with all her might as Shelby pulled it off next."

this should probably be shirt

Hey I’ve seen this /d/ thread before! Also, elves are hot :D

I like the idea of this story. Nice start.