Reviews For The Neighbor Girl
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Reviewer: darkone Signed [Report This]
Date: October 07 2024 4:28 AM Title: Bumping into Each Other

Looks like you took some of that "greentext" you posted and made a darn fine story out of it!

Thanks!

Reviewer: SomeRandomGoon Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 06 2024 5:16 PM Title: The Brink

Okay, that reveal with the "fake flush" was priceless. Got a chuckle outta me. 

Reviewer: Exosaur Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 17 2023 7:45 AM Title: Allison's Choice

I love so much this kind of stories that leave me with the feeling of having a hole in my chest, man, I'm gonna miss Allison so much.

Great story! As always, you couple bonding is awesome and your characters are pretty lovable, maybe it's just me, but things with Allison kind of scalated quick, but with how powerful she was and her initial repressed desires, it was going to happen eventually, luckily she decided to remain on the good side, getting a little mean but remaining like the caring Allison she always was.

Also, I think I got that Allison doesn't care about Sadie doing as she wants with Clark because she's always in the master/pets role, but I thought Allison would be at least a little jealous with them getting too close with their interactions, in the end, she seemed to enjoy it, I just hope she seems Clark more as her boyfriend than her pet, but considering they sleep together at the same size, I'm pretty sure she stills seems him as an equal outside of the roleplay thing. 



Author's Response:

You're right on a lot of it, Allison is okay with Sadie and Clark fooling around because in her mind they're both "hers" although she does generally see them as equals outside of her playtime. This one could have probably been stretched out a bit more, narratively speaking.

Reviewer: tinyguy Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 03 2022 9:04 AM Title: Allison's Choice

Another great work!
Any chance we’ll see another addition to the One Year Lease shorts before you publish the Halloween story?

Author's Response:

I don't think so unfortunately, I've got a couple in my back pocket for the one year lease shorts but I've got to get this Halloween story out while the time of year is right lol

Reviewer: akilmilo Signed [Report This]
Date: September 30 2022 10:43 PM Title: Bumping into Each Other

Damn, does he know what Allison can do? If not, why didn't he talk to the guys who failed. If yes, then why antagonize the size witch?



Author's Response:

He knows some of what she can do but not the whole story, plus he's a little desperate and mad at this point. Antagonizing the size witch is a fun way to put it lol, yeah he's going down a path the wise avoid.

Reviewer: DcZ Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 30 2022 8:48 PM Title: Peace?

And he doesn’t know she can do it remotely. Oh this will be a thing.  



Author's Response:

He knows a little, not the full story obviously or he'd maybe reconsider this whole plan.

Reviewer: Kessler Signed [Report This]
Date: September 29 2022 1:42 AM Title: Doctor Kendra's Confession

Clark and Allison lay next to each other on paper towel

Allison nervously hovered over her two inch tall friends, her face red.

Typo, good story tho. Looking forward to seeing how this one ends up.



Author's Response:

Fixed, glad you're enjoying the story

Reviewer: DcZ Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 29 2022 12:44 AM Title: Doctor Kendra's Confession

Well a thing that could help the world using powers, being on few people and it’s unlimited range, thought it will have ti be seen if it can single out or shrink based on criteria, and it could totally not. 

Get rid of every truly corrupt politician, corporate exec, evil/asshole manager, delusional zealots, etc. and just have them disappear. Since it all this at once, and some of the not completely asshole who would become completely would vanish too once the criteria are met, that would set the whole world in an improve bit if momentum. Would’t matter if those people came back, the world changed too much for the better. 

Even if its only into “not sucking”, perfection will get there eventually. 



Author's Response: I don't know if Allison would want to play Death Note like that and try to run the world, she's got a certain inclination to try to dominate others true, but cleaning up the world like that might take her out of her comfort zone. Still, I imagine she might do it in special cases, certain highly notorious people might disappear during their big speech, nobody noticing they were reduced to microscopic size for a few days.

Reviewer: hunterfury22 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 28 2022 10:35 PM Title: The Brink

Wonderful story you have my friend. I am very intrigued by it. I love Allison. I would love more of her dark side to come out. 



Author's Response:

Thanks! Allison has a complicated relationship with her dark side, obviously she would never want to give into it entirely, but it might be a part of her she needs before this all comes to an end.

Reviewer: DcZ Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 28 2022 2:32 PM Title: Bumping into Each Other

Not shrinking the whole world through camera feed, just practicing range through it.  

Its make complete sense to get the higher up and their goons anywhere in the world, it a mush smaller number if people. 



Author's Response: Yeah Allison can definitely get the higher ups just about anywhere, heck she could have Clark follow them and open up video chat, boom shrunk lol. She needs to work on her powers more obviously, but using cameras is obviously a possibility for her.

Reviewer: DcZ Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 28 2022 1:01 AM Title: The Brink

Well after this, she will have to try it/target inanimate objects, and if she can do the revers (obviously by trying to do the opposite with the “limb”). If that’s possible that its easy to exercise, just shrink and unshrink objects around constantly and rapidly until somehow tiered (if it can be) and just get better. 

Easy. 

Then of course theres training range but that can be don latter, having having some live cameras all over the world and trying to do it all simultaneously. 


So lets see shat the doctor has to say, and maybe their theories or at least what that know definitively about Allison’s chemical-now power.  



Author's Response:

The mental aspect of it at least is probably something that could grow with more use, and she can probably get strong enough to regrow people at will rather than waiting for it to wear off. I don't think shrinking inanimate objects is in the cards but still Allison's power has dramatically increased and is only getting stronger. Trying to shrink the whole world over camera feeds is probably beyond her, a few people though? Definitely within the realm of possibility.

Reviewer: tinyguy Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 27 2022 10:34 PM Title: Homecoming

Honestly wasn’t sure what to think of the story when I first started reading, but it’s grown on me more with each new chapter.

Eagerly awaiting the next installment. Can’t wait to see how far Allison’s shrinking powers can go!

Author's Response:

It's an odd meandering sort of story, half slice of life and romance, half conspiracy tale, but I'm glad you're liking it.

Reviewer: DcZ Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 27 2022 1:24 AM Title: Homecoming


Well I decided to catch up, seems the ability is no contact based only, and can register extreme anger. I wonder what the range is, or if it could be even more targeted. 

Allison could get every grunt, agent, lawyer, scientists and the higher ups of this shady origination down to microscopic and only get Dr. Kendra to explain what going on at a mor manageable size. 

Seems like Allison is still going to make some people go squish for this, might make it expensive enough to make the org not try anything. Its not worth hunting someone down then they can get any of the grunts you send and got you many many years worth of scientists removed in no time. And of course it’s even harder if the board or heads just disappear, lots of power and management vacuum chaos from that. 


Lets see what happens and how much of the beans are spilled. 



Author's Response: Yeah the Lab has crossed a line where they've got to be dealt with one way or another, you don't piss off a girl with shrinking powers, particularly when those powers are getting more potent with time.

Reviewer: titanic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 26 2022 1:01 AM Title: And Then There Were Two

The traps in the apartment made me realize that "Home Alone, but shrinking" is a thing I wish existed, so thanks for that.

I think the cell phone thing worked pretty well. Text messages are a good medium for dumb, funny shit and using an image instead of just dumping it in the text does add a bit of immersion. 



Author's Response: Huh, home alone but with shrinking, interesting idea lol, not sure if it would work great in my usual context but still, might be worth a revisit someday. Anyways I think the cell phone bit worked well, I might do something similar for other stories with text conversations.

Reviewer: Nightwatch Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 25 2022 2:18 PM Title: Bumping into Each Other

Just wanted to say really liking the way Chris and Sadie are encouraging Allison to go forward with who she is and be comfortable about it, as for Sadie Right now I understand how she most be terrified about having shrinking powers now but I do wonder are the powers permanent like she no longer can shrink or can she control the shrinking process herself like could she and Allison shrink each other by touch? Also is it me or is the lab like oni from the halo series with how shady it is by willingly experiencing on people and it own and anyone that's get in there way is removed.



Author's Response:

The extent of Sadie's new powers will be explored in the upcoming chapters. The Lab here is heavily inspired by The Shop from Firestarter, they're super unethical but they're also a lot less competent than ONI is, they're playing with things they don't really understand.

Reviewer: akilmilo Signed [Report This]
Date: September 25 2022 7:52 AM Title: Bumping into Each Other

I hope it's temporary for Sadie. She's better of like a cheerful doll - girl than a giantess.



Author's Response:

Don't worry she'll be back in her dreamhouse before you know it.

Reviewer: mnirp777 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 24 2022 7:22 PM Title: First Time

Wow this story is already so captivating and great!! An instant classic I think. I love the late night in a big city coozy feel and your dedication to having the strangeness not overtake the conventional setting makes it feel almost like magical realism. What an interesting character and I love the idea that her condition has made her a hard science fiction fan haha. Your storytelling is always the best in the game but you're also so good at making characters that seem like they'd be fun to hang out with.



Author's Response: I'm aiming for a cozy feel for some parts so I'm glad it came through. Obviously while there is a lot of weird stuff going on here it's still a fairly normal urban setting, which I think helps for this kind of tale.

Reviewer: akilmilo Signed [Report This]
Date: September 23 2022 11:23 AM Title: Bumping into Each Other

- I'm not sure how to oppose a lab. The best way is probably to go to some television agency and show your ability.

After that you can open your YouTube channel or just go viral on Twitter due to popularity boost from TV.

Then you can go to the police and say that your friend is in the lab against her will. After that you post a video or something where you talk about lab, Sadie and police involvement.

There are many forces in play in every country (except for russia, it's absolute monarchy where everyone is a slave except for putin) and if you're known to everyone they'll fight each other to earn a favor from the unicorn. Downside is that you will be feared and someone may want you dead but as these guys said:

- Noone will kill the only unicorn in the world if they can study it. 

She will definitely be protected.



Author's Response:

Yeah nobody is going to try to kill Allison, or even Sadie and Clark for now, they're just too valuable. Not sure if you've ever seen Firestarter or read the book, but it's the same concept, the target is simply too valuable. Also we'll explore it a bit but The Lab, while affiliated with the government, is operating in shadowy and quasi-legal areas that their superiors might not know about or approve of, Kendra is obviously having a bit of a moral crisis about the whole inevitable betrayal too.

Reviewer: akilmilo Signed [Report This]
Date: September 22 2022 7:56 AM Title: Bumping into Each Other

“Heck no,” Sadie said excitedly as Allison placed her on the

coffee table, “I’m on vacation, I’m staying a doll! "

She's so cute. My favorite character senses that tingled from the moment she was mentioned were right.



Author's Response:

yeah she's fun, isn't she? Poor girl wants to be a doll so bad lol

Reviewer: hornet Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 20 2022 7:25 PM Title: Best Friends Forever

I really like where that microscope thingy is going.



Author's Response:

We'll see some super tiny sizes in this one, should be fun!

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