[Report This]Date: April 28 2026 9:58 PM Title: Chapter 4
Hope you're doing well. I have to be honest when I started reading this, the immediate shift from second person POV ("you were trapped") to third person at the end caught my attention right away. That's not a common narrative choice, but you made it work because the first half immerses the reader in Tom's helplessness (the tight space, the bra shifting, the "skyscraper-sized breast" falling), and then the switch to third person for the milk detail gives the reader information that Tom himself doesn't have. It creates dramatic irony we know he's shrinking, but he's unconscious and can't know. That kind of structural awareness is rare in size fiction.
The sensory details stood out to me the most. The sweat slowly moving into his mouth, the gagging, the smell getting worse over time, the repeated crushing weight every time Charlotte did a bump in volleyball you didn't just describe what was happening visually, you made the reader feel the suffocation and the hopelessness. And the detail about the disease mixing with Charlotte's specific breast milk being the exact combination needed to shrink him, not just one or the other, shows you thought about cause and effect instead of just making things happen randomly. Not everyone puts that level of internal logic into a shrinking scene, and I genuinely respect the effort you've put into this.
I'm a paid artist and I specialize in turning stories into comic pages. The way you described the breast falling on Tom "like a skyscraper," the milk becoming a flood to someone half an inch tall, the repeated squish of the bump technique those are moments that would translate incredibly well into sequential panels, especially with the POV shift you built in. I'd love to bring your story to life visually. If you're interested, feel free to reach out:
Email: trippsyyarts @ gmail . com
Discord: tripsydraws
Looking forward to hearing from you. My question is this: when you wrote the shrinking trigger as a combination of the disease, Charlotte's breast milk, and Tom's own tissues trying to heal at the same time, was that something you planned from the beginning of the story, or did you discover that rule as you were writing and decide it made the logic tighter?
Date: October 21 2022 12:47 AM Title: Chapter 4
Nice. I hope she doesn't find him at all. I prefer unaware, but if she does, I hope Tom ends up falling down her shirt and into her panties first.
Date: October 18 2022 5:35 AM Title: Chapter 3
When I said, in my chapter 2 review, that he was going to be bounced around worse than the volleyball. I was right (lol)!
Date: October 16 2022 4:22 PM Title: Chapter 3
Hey,
I checked all the chapters and now everything is perfectly fine, both when I'm logged in and out. Thanks very much!
As to my ideas or suggestions to your story, I gave it some thought and I have a couple.
Since she's now determined to pleasure herself, she may squeeze her boobs by hand from time to time, either applying great force to him; forcing her nipple into his mouth or even filling him with her milk after the squeeze.
She could also try to fix herself and accidentally move him either in-between her boobs or under them. In the former case, she could squeeze her boobs between her arms as she's about to hit the ball from below. (I hope you know what I mean, the position where you hold your hands straight and clench your hands).
In case of the latter, her massive boobs are applying great force on him all the time and it increases every once in a while, when she moves and her boobs bounce up and then crush him falling down. Also, underboob is right where all the sweat gathers, so you could also take that into account and maybe describe how awful she makes him feeling not even knowing. Beyond that, she could get a really strong hug when he's there, again crushing him hard. (I use word crush in a non-destructible way, just applying really strong pressure).
And finally being in this position (underboob area) the bra really doesn't matter. I mean, when she takes it off, he wouldn't fall off, because the mass of her boobs will surely keep him there. So that's a great option for him to stay unnoticed and be unawarely messed with for the rest of the story. She could go to the toilet and drop him accidentally while peeing, so he lands on her panties and continues his unaware journey there.
She could go straight to shower and while cleaning herself, unawarely grab him and wash her hair with him, simultaneously entangling him in her hair or scratching him with his nails. He could fell on the floor and she could step on him lightly or really hard (depends how durable he is) or she could kick him.
She could also go to sleep right after coming back from training. With or without her bra, but either way, laying on her belly and breasts, forcing him to spend all night long under her whole weight, sweat, with little air to breathe.
You could also try to somehow make feet-related content. For example make him somehow end up inside her sock or stocking. Maybe inside her shoe or heels? Or maybe just inside her slippers, while she's at "home". There's a lot room to play with here, so I hope you use it well and make some great content.
Also, you could make her borrow him to one of her friends unawarely, be it in any way you find acceptable. Then they could also be totally oblivious of his presence and "torture" him further. Or they could find him and use him on purpose. Or another idea, they could find him and think he's some kind of doll or object, not a real human. This way they will use him on purpose, but not really, since they don't know he feels everything they do to him.
I could go on and on, but I think I already wrote enough ideas for the whole series 🤣
I hope I helped a bit and you'll find some inspiration among my ideas.
If you're interested also in what I don't like and prefer you to not include in the story, I would stray away from any kind of vore. I don't find it sexual and exciting in any way, so that's a big no for me. Mainly cause it's boring. Also being really cruel on purpose is rather blunt and therefore tiring to read.
Hope to see next chapter soon!
Cya!
Author's Response:
I agree, vore is strange and I don't like it, but I have some other problems as well. I don't really like the topics of the butt or feet area for reasons I don't wish to discuss. So, it's mainly the boobs area, unless I decide to do a body exploration if he gets out. But, you do have some great ideas, and I may put them in the story! Thank you for sharing your ideas!
[Report This]Date: October 15 2022 3:46 AM Title: Chapter 3
I was right!
Author's Response:
Right to what? Ty for 5 stars
Date: October 13 2022 11:42 AM Title: Chapter 1
Hey, I like the story so much and I love the fact that she's still unaware of him and now actually unknowingly using him for her pleasure. Keep it up! :D
One thing though, please take notice of the font and color of the text in your chapters. I'm not sure if you're aware of that, but the first chapter has white background under the text, so it's really hard to read. I suggest you fix that and make sure that in upcoming chapters this issue doesn't appear.
Waiting for next one eagerly! Cya!
Author's Response:
Thank you for leaving a review, got any suggestions for the next chapter? I want to hear what the readers think. Also, I worked on your suggestion with the text and font being hard to read, can you please check to see if it's still good? It may look different on your end than on my end.
[Report This]Date: September 26 2022 2:46 PM Title: Chapter 2
Something tells me he's gonna get bounced around twice as hard as the volleyball. ;-)
[Report This]Date: September 15 2022 12:59 PM Title: Chapter 1
Reminds of the opening chapter in CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE. Except, in this case, the requisite three options would most likely be...
"He is found by a) Charlotte
b) one of her jealous teammates or
c) the nymphomaniacal captain of the cheerleader squad."
Author's Response:
Thank you for the five stars, and those were some thoughts I have been planning, but I have another idea. I'm creating chapter 2 right now.