[Report This]Date: October 19 2022 7:44 PM Title: (Day 49) Noble Visit
If you have apprehensions about going for something as dark as rape it's totally understandable. I've certainly got a humble suggestion that could help avoid it in a reasonable but engaging fashion that still fits the darkness of this world.
Marisa could continue to be resistant, which would cause Galea to essentially order Richard to do the deed. Marisa's owners may also reluctantly agree to this method albeit not being very threatening to Marisa as they are more inclined to pamper her due to their noble background.
Richard could continue to refuse despite increasingly intimidating threats by Galea, who could mention she could easily sell him off as livestock to be consumed or eat him herself along with other detailed threats. Tell him how close he was to being served as a dish before she *bought* him from a kitchen and essentially saved his life. He belongs to her and he shouldn't forget that. She could also highlight how good he has at and remind him about what usually happens to humans in this world and their place on the food-chain should nature take it's course.
It would be a good opportunity to show heroic traits in Richard. Even though he has submitted to Galea in many ways, there are still lines he would never cross even if it meant a slow agonizing death in some hungry elf's belly, even Galea's herself. Perhaps this display of morality and courage could win over Marisa who would genuinely admire him for his bravery in a world where most humans are completely broken and will do anything to survive and not get eaten. This could be her reason give consent.
Everyone gets what they want and perhaps Galea gains a little more respect for Richard. She would certainly still view him as an inferior being and her property, but maybe have a little more interest in his personality and not just his value as a product as well as a bit more affection for him.
Of course it's just an open suggestion and I would be interested in whatever you choose to do. Hope I'm not being too intrusive on your story with my suggestion. I'd like to know what you think? Aside from that this has been a very enjoyable story. I'm generally interested in soft vore and soft vore related teasing / threats so that would probably be my biggest bias for or against things as a reviewer / fan.
Author's Response:
Interesting plot point ideas, here's a few of my thoughts:
I think Richard refusing if it comes down to it is within the bounds of what kind of character I wanted to write, and that is 100% an option for how the story goes. Though I'm less sure if Marisa would admire another human for refusing commands as well (she's more scared of the unknown, as opposed to outright defiant), and Galea would sooner start dishing out punishments before being impressed by one of her pets being defiant.
That doesn't mean that she might not eventually develop a deeper attachment to him than just as a tool, but crossing her isn't how I think Richard will get there. I don't think she'll ever respect him, much in the same way that humans don't really respect their pets, affection sure, but not respect.
And you're not being intrusive! I appreciate feedback, especially when it is as in depth as yours is. Having hardly written anything before now, it's good to see what kind of impression the story is giving off.
[Report This]Date: October 12 2022 10:54 PM Title: (Day 1) A Bad Day to Be Human
Great story. Are you going to eventually follow Richard's offspring as they grow up to become pets or food?
Author's Response:
Thanks man, and I don't think I'll ever have a POV other than Richard or Galea's in this story, but his offspring could become characters once/if we get there. If I end up wanting to follow another character, his offspring or otherwise, I'd prob start a new story, as this is really just Richard's (and Galea's) story.
Date: June 15 2022 12:53 PM Title: (Day 1) A Bad Day to Be Human
This is a really nice intro, I’ve only read chapter 1 so far but you have a very broad range of vocabulary and adjectives in your writing that really makes it an enjoyable read.
Keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thanks my man, glad it is resonating with you.
Date: June 15 2022 4:13 AM Title: (Day 1) A Bad Day to Be Human
Interesting to see a story set in the "humanity's subjugation" universe. As usual, elf treatment of humans is horrific. At least Richard got a better deal than most. It's also interesting to see just how the elves produce so many humans to keep up with demand. I wonder if they enchant them to breed and grow faster or something given how long it normally takes for humans to give birth and mature.
Author's Response:
I know there is time magic available in the setting + other magical (or maybe drug) ways of increasing fertility, but that's more for a mass production farm. This one is a bit more specialized, might try to write a visit in to a mass production farm at some point in the story, though.