Reviewer: Solar Wind Signed [Report This]
Date: June 08 2022 10:51 AM Title: Truth or Dare

Oh man!!! So Molly was as evil as her friends and distant from her brother since he shrank and she moved? Well, this fixes most plot problems I saw... but man, you must admit, your story does nothing to show us that. The story shows her getting some drugs for her date, coming and telling Robbie's past events, then going away, then saying him goodbye in the morning after chatting a bit with him and with her friends scared about him telling her what they did, only that. If it wasn't for you explaining in a review reply the untold parts about her, the story would easily pass as a story with very un-encountering situations. Because of that, and even despite knowing your detailing are at least four stars, I can only give you three. Story coherency and plot is something which makes a lot for the story. I've read your other Morning Series stories by the way, they're good. You indeed likes smutty a lot, not complaining about that, sorry if my review seemed like a complaint. Far from that, it was just... showing that the story wasn't what I was expecting considering the passionate reviews, but as I said, it was MY FAULT (I meant that, for real), not yours, because I believed in the overly excited tone of the other reviewers and was thinking this story had a strong plot with thrilling cliffhangers yadda yadda. So no problem with your story man, no need to feel bad, for real.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For Maximus: I'd recommend you to read the WHOLE story again, this time PAYING ATTENTION. Then re-read my review, and come back to talk. For real man, I agree with you: in this site there are lots of poorly written stories, but by your words in this newer review and your older review, I can only deduce that, for you, a good story is just about well detailed sexy evil stuff. Man, a good story is more than just how detailed is the event of a crying tiny boy being unwillingly forced deep inside his girl's asshole. There are LOTS of stories with poor detailing where the intriguing plot makes them GREAT.

If you read my review again, you'll see easily that what I disliked the most was the story un-encountering events, and plot holes, which were caused by a misunderstanding about Molly, caused by a lack of detailing about her relationship with her friends and brother. As the author now explained, most of these problems are gone, but for real: the story does nothing to show us that. We can only understand about Molly because the author replied with the info that should've been put in the story. Without it: plot problems. And tbw, if you don't think plot holes and coherency mismatches aren't a problem in a story, maybe you're here just for the smut, as most of the readers in this site are. Not complaining about that, you do your read the way you want, but if you're complaining about other reviews, at least be right about your POV.

And the only way to be honest and right about your POV is reading and fully understanding the story, something your reviews seem to show that you didn't. To put on the table a couple examples: you wrote that you were expecting the evil girls to go soft and regret what they were doing to Robbie, but the story didn't show a single line, before or while Molly recanted his story, that showed that the girls would reconsider. Their reactions to Robbie's past events weren't of regretness, but silently evil expectancy. The story was pretty well clear and detailed about it, showing their utter attention and the growing expectancy in their minds.

Another example: in your new review, you wrote that you were hoping for Robbie to be still in the girl's stomach when she got in the car, but the epilogue shows that it was already morning. It's easy to see that he was swallowed, puked, freed, the girls maybe did some little thing else, got asleep all drunk, woke up with a hangover in the morning (the epilogue even shows that), they got prepared, packet all their things up and ONLY THEN they finally, finally got into the car. Were you honestly hoping for Robbie to STILL be in Keighlee's stomach after SO MUCH TIME? He would've been digested long before and would be everywhere in the girl's body, as dissolved nutrients absorbed in her many cells after digestion. Or, if you wanna see things this way, his undigested remains would be at least in her ascending colon, waiting to be pushed through her large bowels and shat out a little hours later.

Also, the story says that this is set up in the Morning series: if you did the job of reading the other stories in the Morning Series (with attention, of course) you'd see that the tines, in the Morning series world built, doesn't survive more than some minutes inside a girl's stomach, probably suffocating before even being dissolved (the Morning Series doesn't explain the exact cause of their deaths, but considering the little time, this is more believable: if the cause of death was acid digestion, Robbie would've been puked out already too damaged to Molly not to see what happened, and probably even close to die).

So it's easy to see that, in your opinion to my review, the problem isn't my review, Or me. It's you who need to apply more attention to what you read. Being attentive just to the details in the sexy parts isn't being attentive at all, or: how can you praise a story for being detailed if you're not paying attention to the details? Remember what I wrote about coherency?

But whatever, you're reading just the smut.

Reviewer: Solar Wind Signed [Report This]
Date: June 07 2022 8:17 PM Title: Truth or Dare

...meh.

Considering the outstanding reviews the story got I was expecting the story to be superb, but it's just a story with the very common recipe of a thruth-or-dare gts game, where the always evil girls always do dare only and always only with the tiny as if there was nothing else in the entire room. Not original... 

The smutty scenes are indeed well detailed, but the story lives, as I see by reading the reviews, just for it: the smutty. Maybe it was my fault, I was considering the plot to be intriguing, considering what everybody was saying, but even the plot had a number of holes which not helped maintaining the concisenessof the story. Still the first chapter would be around 3 or 4 stars, but the epikigue brought a number of extra contradictions that destroyed the coherence. Don't want to be a revision nazi, but to name few: Molly's friends were worried about her scolding, but weren't worried about torturing her brother nonetheless. Molly seemed to be caring but didn't check on her brother, even knowing (??) what kind of friends she has (and a girl like her doesn't fit that evil group). Also she didn't see to bother the sudden change in her brother, about the sorority, after the night. Robbie didn't tell his sister about the evil girls and threw away his only chance. Now they'll be back and will do everything again, as he gave them all the possibilities they want in their evilness. The same way he could've died now, he could die then. Yes, he couldn't tell them he was going to tell, you never disagree with people that are threatening to kill you, but in the morning, he should do: in similar circumstances, anyone would do that, even the author of this story. Prove me wrong. 

Whatever, I'm writing to much and I hate it, and sorry author but this is not just about your story: for years I always just jumped to the smutty parts when reading stories. Now I tried to read the whole stories always and.... Most stories just live for their smutty. They're just worth a quick fap. Not your fault actually, I just expected too much. 

Better just jump to the smutty next time. 

Author's Response:

Haha! Ouch, well okay, feedback is feedback.

I tried to present Molly as malicious as her sorority sisters, but not toward her brother. She, near the mid-point of the story, recovers stimulants and boner pills to drug her date into efficacy, and I guess I could've made it clear how distant they were since he shrank and she moved away.

And heck yeah they get away with it! In my experience villains always do!

What can I say? Smut's what I write. I hope you enjoyed the smut, even if the plotting wasn't to your liking. I hope you find the story that works for you!

Reviewer: SlashMaster Signed [Report This]
Date: June 01 2022 7:06 AM Title: Truth or Dare

Do you do commissions

Author's Response:

Not at this time, but if I open them up, I'll let you know. Thank you for reading!

Reviewer: MisterInker Signed [Report This]
Date: June 01 2022 4:52 AM Title: Truth or Dare

This is by far one of the finest GTS stories I've had the pleasure to read. Not for any complex plotting reason, but for the simple fact that in a few thousand words you give readers a little bit of everything they could possibly want out of a story like this. There's just enough worldbuilding to add a little flavor, ha-ha, to the proceedings, but for the lion's share you keep the focus where it belongs: on Robbie's interactions with the girls. The danger and intrigue all feel very real, and the cliffhanger is excellent. While I think this story functions perfectly well on its own as a one-and-done, I could also see a follow-up coming as well. Thanks for sharing with us!

PS: I've got a feeling you might like my story "Fear and Delight."

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'll check out Fear and Delight! Thank you again for reading!