Date: April 21 2022 5:52 PM Title: A Trip Down South
This story has great potential. I loved it so far. I hope you continue
Author's Response:
I appreciate the comment. If/When the DarkBeard wants a continuation, then I’ll be sure to make one!
[Report This]Date: April 21 2022 3:05 AM Title: A Trip Down South
Lucky tiny
Author's Response:
;3
[Report This]Date: April 21 2022 2:59 AM Title: A Trip Down South
Thank the good Lord for DarkBeard, a man of impeccable taste!
You've depicted Marybelle beautifully in all her tomboy glory. I've seen that Southern giantesses are a fun little niche, so glad to see this walking, talking brick house go to work. She's a very driven character, which makes her easy to root for. You've got a nice eye for describing her more odorous, sweaty qualities, although I believe the foot scenes dragged just a tad (but that's because I'm not particularly a foot guy).
My biggest complaint is the reader character (you). Perhaps it's because I can't really relate, I'd personally jump at the chance to work on a farm, doubly so under a tall, muscly, tomboyish southern belle. However, I do think he's a tad one-dimensional. He's a city boy, he's spoiled rotten, and hates work, and that seems to be it. He's also just along for the ride once the giantess stuff starts up. Tiny characters, even when they're powerless, lend themselves for a more compelling story if they at least play a hand in affecting the outcome.
Overall, if this is going to be a multi-chapter chronicle, I'm all here for it. We've got a good backstory for Marybelle, but I'd like to see some for our reader. Why does he hate work so much? Is there a caveat to this? Will he come to appreciate being useful to this muscly waifu. Will he finally recognize Tomboy Supremacy? I'll read regardless.
Author's Response:
Hello, I appreciate the review and I can easily answer the comment regarding the reader character in that the commissioner, DarkBeard, had no plans for the reader character to have much of a character in the first place. They stated that they’d want the reader to be basically a simple place holder for a self insert kind of a thing. It was a bit confusing for me at first to be honest, but I am somewhat limited to portray the characters based on what information I am given without delving too far away from the commissioner’s request.
DarkBeard was more so interested in me focusing on the tomboy goddess. I will still gladly write a continuation if he desires a sequel chapter, but the character background and development is going to end up being sidelined for the sake of lewd scenes.
And ye, feet ain’t the star for all, so that’s understandable. More than happy to delve deeper into other kinks, will just have to wait and see if I’ll get the opportunity. Thanks so much again for the critiques and positivity, and I hope that i clarified a couple of things for you!
[Report This]Date: April 21 2022 2:46 AM Title: A Trip Down South
A story full of potential, well written and leaving the reader to ponder the pleasures of Marybelle's sweat and fragrant body odors.
Lucky to be in Marybelle's cleavage, how blessed it is for him.Author's Response:
Yes, As it is a commission, my limits are the commissioners limits. Potentially a lot more sweat in the future, but odors are a minor part of their interests, so I may not get to detail them as much as some may hope, meaning I’ll just have to compensate by plump squishiness ;D
Date: April 21 2022 2:37 AM Title: A Trip Down South
I absolutely love the style and the direction. Excited to hear more.
Author's Response:
I’d be glad to continue this story, but it depends on if the commissioner feels like paying for a continuation. Otherwise, you can find solace in the fact that I have dozens of stories planned to add more lewd to the world ;0