Date: May 16 2022 5:53 PM Title: Should’ve kept your mouth shut
A fun continuation, looks like the seeds of another adventure being set up.
As far as taking a break or jumping to a different story I wouldn't feel bad about it, I jump around in mine a lot and I write in a kind of episodic fashion for a reason lol. Looking forward to whatever you've got next!
[Report This]Date: May 08 2022 3:16 AM Title: The Date
The last couple chapters were pretty nice, glad to see our protagonists get a little downtime. You've really made Glalan Prime an interesting place. Looking forward to hearing about Procerita's past as a gladiator and the Viriditas, I wonder how much it knows about the universe? If it hosts fighting tournaments it's probably seen some interesting types over the years.
[Report This]Date: May 03 2022 3:01 AM Title: Arrival
You've got some good plot hooks here, looking forward to seeing what's going to happen with this bunch makes it to Glalan Prime!
[Report This]Date: May 02 2022 3:27 AM Title: Guests of Procerita
I enjoyed the last couple chapters, glad to see Procerita is picking up more strays. I'm curious about the origin of the human woman, I'm guessing she's not from Earth if translation nanites don't work.
I wouldn't worry about the names, you've done a lot more to make them creative than I have lol.
[Report This]Date: May 02 2022 1:31 AM Title: The Invasion
Hello, dear reader! I have a secret for you for all of my fans who read the reviews.
*whispering* none of my names are creative at all! They are all simply slightly edited translations of Latin words!
Author's Response:
Damn, I should have spell checked that one.
Anyway, here’s a list of all the translated names in case you were interested.
Procerita, derived from procerit, meaning tall
Ignita, derived from benignitas, meaning kind
Carnifex, no changes, meaning executioner (very creative, I know)
Peira, the root word for pirate in Latin
Timet, no changes, meaning afraid
[Report This]Date: April 27 2022 7:09 PM Title: The Bath
Looks like you've got a budding crew of adventurers here, looking forward to what they get up to on Glalan Prime or whatever story you choose to write next!
[Report This]Date: April 24 2022 10:01 PM Title: Peira the Pirate
Haven't gotten a chance to review the last couple chapters until now, just wanted to say I'm following the story here and I like how the protagonists have grown closer. I'm sure these space pirates don't know what they're getting into. I didn't think this chapter was particularly bad by the way, but I totally get that sometimes you've just got to move a plot forward.
Author's Response:
It’s definetely not awful, it’s just the first chapter I got particularly flustered with. Near the end I was just throwing ideas at the wall because I couldn’t get the idea that Peira had human-proofed the room out of my head.
[Report This]Date: April 22 2022 6:41 AM Title: Orchestra of Lust
You are churning out these chapters like a machine, and each one has been better than the rest! Keep up the amazing work!
Author's Response:
I’m very happy you are enjoying them! I think next week it’ll slow down quite a lot as I have a lot to do, but I still should be able to squeeze out a few chapters.
[Report This]Date: April 21 2022 2:09 AM Title: Sweet Emotion
Just out of curiosity, would you be okay with a throwaway reference to Max and Procerita's adventures in the main story? Just something like them being mentioned in a newscast or the characters reading an after action report on them. I'm not sure where you intend this to be in the "timeline" and I don't want to mess up your flow by saying they're outlaws or heroes when it doesn't fit. Anyways this whole thing has been a blast.
Author's Response:
That would be amazing! The timeline would be relatively difficult to fit in something like the news (considering this is only about a week after the invasion), but maybe something about her popularity as a gladiator on Glalan Prime?
Or, you can have something in the news that can be a hint of what’s to come in my story. Of course, I have absolutely no idea where the story will go in the future, so this option isn’t very viable.
Date: April 21 2022 12:06 AM Title: Sweet Emotion
This chapter might have given me diabetes and I love it.
Author's Response:
Fantastic! I was worried it would be too cutesy but if you enjoyed it I’d be happy to write more.
[Report This]Date: April 20 2022 5:12 PM Title: The Invasion
The issue with chapter 12 and 13 should be fixed now. There was an issue where I pressed the enter key instead of “add story” and that seemed to have screwed everything up.
Once again, shamelessly giving myself a 10
[Report This]Date: April 20 2022 3:59 PM Title: Sweet Emotion
Love these two little rascals, loving this story so far. Excited for what you have planned
Author's Response:
I’m glad you are enjoying it enough to leave a review! If you’d like to make any suggestions I’m completely open to ideas.
I’d also like to mention your username is very fitting for this story.
[Report This]Date: April 20 2022 2:43 AM Title: Sweet Emotion
A nice ending to a story arc, it seems like Max and Procerita are going to stick together in spite of everything which is nice to see. If you ever decide to write more about their adventures I'll be waiting!
Date: April 18 2022 3:01 AM Title: Showdown
Loved the callback to Clara's revolver and the disaster it caused, glad Max was able to help Procerita with a more effective design. If this is the end of the (first?) arc it's a good spot, look forward to Procerita claiming her "reward" and what she's going to do with Max to celebrate.
[Report This]Date: April 17 2022 4:33 AM Title: Rogue Robot
Games of cat and mouse with giant catgirls are always fun. Glad to see our protagonists bonding a bit and enjoying each other's company.
The action scene was a bit gory but it also highlights that the executioner isn't to be messed with and differentiates her a bit a from the surgical and precise violence other Aelmari engage in, the big blue elves didn't get to the top of the space hierarchy by always being nice though.
[Report This]Date: April 16 2022 3:44 AM Title: Adverse Effects
I like your worldbuilding additions to the appendix stuff, the "blood of the gods" staining the Glalan atmosphere for example. There are a few more reasonable Glalans on Prime of course, Telara for example, but Procerita as a hardened and famous marauder might not be the best advocate for a less aggressive foreign policy. There are only rarely Aelmari on Glalan Prime, so it should give our protagonists some breathing room. That executioner, I'm getting vibes like she's not only still alive she's maybe forgetting about that Aelmari Mission and is maybe developing some... extra features in the same way that Aelmari do in the main story, but in a far less positive way lol.
looking forward to where this is going, keep it up!
Date: April 14 2022 2:46 AM Title: SABOTAGE part 2
I'm guessing that executioner is still alive and now pretty pissed off. Nice to see the characters bonding a bit, I do wonder where they're headed off to next, anyplace without an Aelmari presence is going to have it's own dangers.
Author's Response:
It’s going to take a lot of self control to not rip off the plot of the Matrix revolutions (where the main antagonist becomes a threat to both sides)
Date: April 13 2022 6:04 PM Title: SABOTAGE part 1
So Max seems to be developing a pretty negative view of the Aelmari, which is understandable given who he hangs out with. I'm interested to see if the Executioner catches up with them before they get offworld, I'm guessing she wouldn't be super understanding about their relationship.
[Report This]Date: April 12 2022 9:56 PM Title: Stressing and De-Stressing
I typically don't like spin offs, but this is really good! I'm really enjoying the chemistry between the main characters even if they still are at the "toy" stage of their relationship. I also really enjoy the contrast between this and the main story since the whole "on the run" angle gives it a really exciting edge and gives it a sense of urgency.
My main complaint would have to be the pacing since I feel like the daily upload rate might be affecting the amount of things you can get done per chapter. This is just personal preference but I would rather you take your time and write longer chapters that progress the plot a bit more, since you always leave me wanting more. You've seriously got me on the edge of my seat.
I'm really hoping to learn more about the characters and their backstories since they have not had the time to have more intimate conversations about each other. Same thing goes for the side characters, since Ignita is a bit of an enigma and I'm excited to learn about any character you introduce.
Other than that, Im really loving this story and can't wait for more! I'll read regardless of how you choose to go from here. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response:
I’m glad you enjoy it! I’ll definitely be taking the length into consideration on my next chapter, and I’ll see if I can work in some more backstory. I’ll try to give Ignita some more character, but she was never planned to get much attention.