Reviewer: writer27 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 12 2022 11:55 PM Title: A Hospital Visit

Some advice, Pick a point of view and go with it. Bouncing between first and third person points of view is confusing and sloppy. I'm not really sure whats actually going on in the narrative other than.....someone jumped off a building and has been in a hospital for a year? Character development can usually follow an initial beginning but I'm just confused. This is not meant to discourage you.

Author's Response:

It's basically a fanfiction. I'll make that more clear in the story. I went back and edited. At first, I thought I would make it third-person, but I changed my mind. I tried to get rid of any third-person perspective just now.