[Report This]Date: August 06 2021 4:30 PM Title: Shrunken Madness
Coming in here without an interest in transformation - mostly just excited for the characters - I was pretty engaged! The first bits of dialogue are incredibly natural, and it continues throughout the story; which can be especially hard for characters like Cammy.
That's complemented by the nice balance between perspective: hiding one's thoughts to add a bit of mystery, but showing them progressing forward, and slowly building up to wilder interactions. It really helps ground them in the setting, along with the gauntlet's link to the lore. The extra irony with the thighs, and Chun-Li parrying rapid blows, makes it feel like you did your homework.
I especially like small details like "what she felt was her spine", or Cammy's giggling and heartbeat, and descriptions of both characters' nerves. And having thought way too much about sweat, the way you incorporated its taste within Chun-Li's form is impressive.
There are some spots where the sentences get a bit run-on and hard to follow for me. For example, the "after about 30 minutes" one, or "having been squished more thoroughly". Also, the beginning jumping between flashbacks to Charlie and to the last mission, while giving a good sense of Chunner's mental state, do make the time period a bit hard to follow.
That said, the general plot stays very solid and consistent. Except for the brief pause of Chun-Li getting knocked out (which mostly just feels like the story catching its breath), every action leads to the next one logically. I think my favorite part was the slow anticipation in the insertion scene. It might be my bias in interactions, but it's great seeing the bits of internal and external conflict through characters' inner monologues as we see more of Cammy's body.
I might have liked a little bit more focus on Chun-Li's thoughts during the climax, but everything else around the conclusion really works. Adds a level of cuteness after how intense the last bits got!
Overall, really great work, deserves more attention!