Date: October 18 2022 1:21 PM Title: Chapter 44 Back to Work/Rehab?
I think I can see where this is going:
The baby will have been affected by the growth formula and end up growing into a giantess either when she's around six or immediately after she is born, with some rapid aging as well.
Maybe she will be bigger than Alphas too.
Date: February 23 2022 4:38 PM Title: Chapter 1 Changes are Afoot
I wonder if the doctors are wrong about the missing growth part , as stories where size and family roles change make it interesting
[Report This]Date: October 21 2021 2:42 AM Title: Chapter 1 Changes are Afoot
You craft interesting story arcs and have kept me engaged throughout. The only advice I have is for you to work on including more description. You may picture something in your head as you write, but we as readers are given very little to picture when every sentence is an action. You should try to let those sentences breathe more by including further description, context, and thoughts in between those. That as well as the dialogue. Instead of t someone said no, why not take a crack at some actual dialogue with quotes?
Author's Response:
I really appreciate your feedback. As for a couple of your points, when I had begun writing my earlier stories, they really got bogged down in too much detail, to the point where the narrative flow really suffered. And at that time, I wasn't doing any sort of rendering to give readers a visual representation of what I was trying to convey. (I was exclusively on DA for the first couple of months). If I could ever figure out a way to post scenes that I have rendered in my GW chapters I would. As for the actual dialogue, I found out that I was really terrible at it. It had no flow, was extremely clunky, and overall it sucked, to be honest. I just never went back to work on it. That's on me, for being too lazy/terrified of going back to work on that aspect. I will always take advice, and if you could help with either of your points I addressed, I would be grateful. I am on Discord (twoodjr #0856), DA (GentleGiant1970), or if you are more comfortable with email (Thomaswood239@yahoo.com). Thank you again for your input and feedback.
[Report This]Date: October 17 2021 9:31 AM Title: Chapter 36 The Woman who Lived
Interesting good stuff agian. I hope mom and child survive. Maybe they get the Alpha treatment/formula they can both survive.
[Report This]Date: October 09 2021 6:45 AM Title: Chapter 35 Debbie
Good stuff. Slice of life.
[Report This]Date: October 01 2021 5:38 AM Title: Chapter 34 Life hangs in the balance
I wonder about what kind of accident. Good emotional stuff.
Date: October 01 2021 4:45 AM Title: Chapter 1 Changes are Afoot
I wonder if they submit to a cure that inflows the formula that changes things
[Report This]Date: September 30 2021 3:26 AM Title: Chapter 34 Life hangs in the balance
I thought you might take this angle at some point. Ik it's not ver nice if me, but I think her passing away is better for the story. It'll add much-needed depth and allow the more important characters to develop that much further.
Date: September 19 2021 11:25 AM Title: Chapter 1 Changes are Afoot
Ok I've been enjoying this story a lot so far especially Meg's and James's relationship! Usually I reply when a story is done on that verge if canceled but this ending of the latest chapter reeeally got me!! Im really anxious for the next chapter🔥🔥
Date: August 04 2021 7:09 PM Title: Chapter 27 Presentation, Promotion, and the Fear of God
Is Michelle going to not follow orders and end up having meg hate her and her father forever?!?!
Author's Response:
I think it will be interesting going forward. Meg's parents have trampled all over Betas because there were never any consequences for their actions. Now, they have something at stake, Leo's job. And I don't know if Michelle didn't want to push the issue then. She is very stubborn when it comes to her behavior towards Betas. So we will see. But thank you for taking the time to read the story!
[Report This]Date: July 31 2021 7:57 AM Title: Chapter 25 Invitations
That mother is such an idiot. I hate her because she was a Beta longer than she was an Alpha. Hope Meg can escape her household, because her mother is insane.
Looking forward to this journey.
Author's Response:
I tried to give some background context on her attitudes, but obviously didn't make it strong enough to resonate. I didn't want to explain the real reason about her mom's behavior, because it hasn't been broached yet, and I'm not sure that anyone, Alpha or Beta, would understand the true cause and effect of the formula on the brains and hormones of those who took it, especially on some of the females.
Date: July 27 2021 8:34 AM Title: Chapter 24 From Heaven to Hell
Is Michelle going to jail or will she change? Cause I don't think social Darwinistic people can change unless they have a taste of their own medicine or risk losing their loved ones.
Author's Response:
Thank you for observation. I'm not really sure how it's going to play out. I think an underlying premise of this and other stories that are set in this type of universe is that as Alphas become the dominant subset of the human population, laws are changing to benefit strictly them. And any complaint from Betas about how they are being treated falls on deaf ears, especially since the Beta population is getting smaller and smaller.
Date: July 24 2021 12:53 AM Title: Chapter 22 Reflection
I've got my gears turning about an event I picture happening. Tom gets recognition from Becky and Susan for being the brains behind the companies latest quality improvement. Due to his years with the company, his latest stellar performance, and Becky and Susan spreading the word to their influential parents who gave the inexperienced college girls manager positions; I think Tom might get a suprise promotion into a mid-rank manager role. And crucially, well above the his old role as a foreman that Megan's dad took from him.
I suspect that when Megan's parents learn James is dating their daughter, her mom will do her usual storming of the beta familiy's home to threaten and berate them. Either Tom will find his courage again to stand his ground when his family is threatened or James will stand up to her, and because her normal tactic isn't working she gets violent and beats one or both of them. Conveniently, maybe right as Becky and Susan arrive for a reciprocal meet-up or visit with Tom. Not only is she caught in the act and arrested, but word spreads that one of the foreman's wives just attacked the family of the only beta manager in the company administration. Causing a chain of karma events for Megan's parents getting punished and humiliated for their behaviour towards betas.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review. I honestly thought about every scenario that you mentioned. If I decided on doing certain things, I had to be extremely careful in not making things too perfect. I do envision Meg's parents finding out about James. And I have been thinking about how that could come about. And the very nature of Tom's new job makes him a company official. And I thought about an actual promotion for him, as opposed to the one he got that stuck him in the office. But, thankfully, the story is kind of guiding me.
[Report This]Date: July 22 2021 10:54 AM Title: Chapter 21 Forgiveness
Enjoyable chapter again. Hope it goes better now between Becky and Tom. Between James and Meg it seems ok.
Author's Response:
Thank you! Tom stayed because he feels some paternal instinct towards Becky. James was the athlete, but if he had a daughter, he could imagine that she would turned out to be like Becky, minus the size.
[Report This]Date: July 22 2021 10:51 AM Title: Chapter 20 Broken Trust
O Becky, a little anger management in these situations.
Author's Response:
Becky's problem was she didn't drink, but was feeling so good about her work situation that she just wanted to cut loose. She couldn't handle the effects of the hangover.
Date: July 22 2021 10:48 AM Title: Chapter 19 High Hopes
Good that are people like Becky and Susan. I don't get these other Alphas hate the moment they receive power. What about family and friends that are still Betas.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the observation. I had offered a possibility in one of my other stories that maybe it has something to do with the formula. It seems that when boys and girls take the formula, their natural tendencies reverse. Men who are Alphas tend to be well behaved. It's the women that tend to become extremely territorial and aggressive. A side effect of taking something that wasn't natural?
[Report This]Date: July 18 2021 7:28 AM Title: Chapter 16 Paying it forward (Tom’s new job)
It seems to go better for Tom. Some Alphas can actually use their brains. :)
Another interesting advancement in the slice of life story of this village. :)
Author's Response:
Thank you for the observation. I was trying to capture Susan's motivation. She had just come into the office at the end of the previous chapter, and there was that secretary giving Tom a really hard time. And she realized that because she couldn't be in the office all the time, she couldn't protect him from the ladies. So she sent him to help her friend, and giving him a new lease on his professional career, while making sure he is safe from harassment and intimidation.
[Report This]Date: July 16 2021 5:23 PM Title: Chapter 1 Changes are Afoot
That female secretary deserves a hard lesson. I hope Meg will give it to here.
If that Adams family is smart it stays friends with Meg and her family.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the response. I am at a point in the story where both James and his father are going to have make choices. Does James go against his mother's wishes and stay with Meg? And does Tom choose the well being of his family due to the need for health insurance over his own. I have to figure it out.
[Report This]Date: July 12 2021 7:00 PM Title: Chapter 11
Wonder what the daughter will do.
Looking forward to the next chapter,
Keep up the good writing.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the encouragement. I am finding, at least for now, the story is getting easier to write.
Date: July 12 2021 6:13 PM Title: Chapter 11
Not bad and very interesting. Only I believe Betas will carry heavy weapons to shoot some Alphas. Many Alphas deserve to be slaughtered.