[Report This]Date: April 01 2023 9:02 PM Title: An American Nightmare
Pretty good, if a bit overlong (thus 9 stars instead of 10), erotic story. I always enjoy when the two parties know each other in some way (whether that be friend, relative, romantic interest or new acquaintance). The writing was good, as always. I like the empathetic tone by a couple of the female clerks who feel for the guy's plight and trumped up punishment. In real life, I hate abuses of power, but in a story, it works very effectively to immerse the reader. Love the coincidental and unaware voring and Ashley's subsequent wondering of whatever became of her cute acquaintance.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I really like the "unaware acquaintance" scenario a lot too. That's one of the bigger downsides of the Vortex world I think, the pred and the prey knowing each other is possible, but I can't do it too often without it coming across as super contrived (like, even more than the setting already is!). I remember worrying about the plot of this story seeming too forced back when I wrote it, but luckily most people don't seem too bothered by that.
As for the length, I can certainly see from where you're coming there. I get a lot of mixed feedback regarding the length of my stories, some find they're too long, some want them to be even longer. So I guess it will continue to be different from story to story, depending on what mood I'm in! :D
[Report This]Date: February 10 2023 11:46 AM Title: An American Nightmare
I didn't realise you had posted so many of the stories on this site and after reading quite a few of them I have quite a lot to say
In terms of the VortexFoods Corporation, I find it very interesting that now the corporation is finding almost any slightly minuscule reason (in this case, it was Max carrying slightly more than the average amount of weed) as an excuse to be shrunk down and be sold as food. In my opinion, I think in this world it has been normalised to such an extent that the demand is very high and they need to fulfil their supply by using any reason they have to justify it.
In terms of Ashely and the rest of the giantesses, I always found it funny how they don't even properly look at the shrunken people they are eating. Like they are so inferior they are not even worth their time to take a look. Max says 'Based on the fact that she had even asked the flight attendants about him hours after meeting him for the first time, Max concluded that she would never have eaten him if she had only recognised him'.
In terms of the Vegan Leonie being one of Vortex's best customers and perfectly willing to devour shrunken people, I always found that really ironic. Vegans believe in the concept of preserving INNOCENT life and I guess from her perspective they were criminals who deserved their fate. People will really believe anything a mega-corporation, government or political organisation says at face value, huh?
'As the paper touched her sphincter, she wiped away a few more small brown chunks containing tiny splinters which had once been part of his ribcage, then she perfunctorily dropped the used paper into the toilet and flushed.'
Damn. You don't hold back on grisly details 😰
I also really liked how she felt the tiny people moving around in her stomach. Her telling them to watch out for the tomato down below was really a form of dark humour.
Also generally curious if you study human anatomy. You seem to know a lot about the human body and its digestion processes in very specific detail.
On a final note, I definitely need to finish reading these. This is the longest review I have ever written on this site 😂. Sorry It was so long
Author's Response:
Thank you for your extensive review and the five star rating! It is much appreciated! 😊
Yes, you are quite right, the "reasons" are often little more than pretences. An upcoming story will be shedding some more light on how exactly the system works, though some of my other stories have already implied that there is an algorithm behind it, driven by a social credit rating similar to the one in China. Once you drop into the "undesirable" category, you can get shrunk for the most ridiculous reasons, whereas people with high ratings can get away with a lot more.
That is indeed the mentality that is prevalent in the Vortex world. I know the scenario requires some willing suspension of disbelief, but if we assume for a moment that such a system would actually exist, I think it is the attitude most people would have. I'm basing that on past and present examples of how average people treat fellow human beings that have been designated as "inferior" for whatever reason. Some become overtly sadistic, some few don't play along and remain empathetic, and the vast majority is callous/indifferent.
For clarification: Leonie isn't supposed to be a jab at veganism in general, which I'm quite sympathetic towards (I'm vegetarian myself). Her character is supposed to be a parody of certain types of radical environmentalists with anti-humanist attitudes, who in my opinion are really just Malthusians. In the Vortex world, even commendable causes such as environmentalism have been warped to fit into society's overall Social Darwinist attitude
As for the descriptions of the digestive system, I'm not a biologist or doctor, so there may be some inaccuracies or mistakes. All I know about it is school knowledge/self-taught, so please feel free to contact and correct me if there is something that doesn't make sense!
[Report This]Date: October 13 2021 8:03 AM Title: An American Nightmare
Since the story line is the foundation of the quality concerning any creative writing, your narrative is excellent. The imaginary account, emotional state, and the thorough description on the digestive progression while Max was straining in Ashley’s stomach were brilliantly written.
In spite of this, while it is accurate and convincing that Max should be lifeless at the time that he reached the duodenum, yet, the complex digestive progression should be very interesting. Especially when Max’s remains are being sort out in the biliary tract, where the pancreatic juice and bile support the digestive procedure by breaking down nutrients. For example, the process of break down Max with the digestive enzymes should make a fascinating description. Moreover, the absorption of fluids, such as water and sodium (electrolytes) also should begin in the small intestine. In which, should make another fascinating description.
Anyway, I hope that the above-mentioned feedback is helpful.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! :-) Yes, I think this was the first story where I started going into more details regarding the digestion process beyond the stomach and I am still educating myself on some of the details. I will definitely take your feedback into consideration regarding future stories! Very glad that you enjoyed this one.
[Report This]Date: March 10 2021 6:12 AM Title: An American Nightmare
Honestly really great writing. The length is impressive too. Real glad you explored internals as well, as they're aren't many great stories doing that as of lately. Would be super cool seeing you do an unaware vore story. Regardless, all around great story.
Author's Response:
Thank you! :-) Yes, I had a lot of fun writing the longer internals and will try to make that more standard in future stories, even though it increases the overall length of the story. As for the unaware story, I do have an idea for one, but I'm not sure when I'll come around to writing it. More coming, though!