Date: April 04 2021 2:12 PM Title: Moving Forward
Elizabeth seems suspicious for some reason. I don't know why but her being manipulative before does not help her case.
Author's Response:
For sure, Elizabeth has some sneaky and manipulative tendencies. It makes sense that she comes across as suspicious sometimes. I think it's fair to say that she's one of the good guys overall, though! She just has a bit of a "do whatever it takes" mindset when it comes to what she views as the greater good. Thanks for reading, and I hope you're enjoying the story!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: April 04 2021 1:27 PM Title: Moving Forward
Well, you've succesfully broken my heart. I can say with complete certainty that I'm feeling just as sad and angry as Brian (despite predicting that this would happen). Another example of your great emotional writing! I'm too distraught to write a longer review, so keep it up why don't ya. Godspeed and what not. ;-;
Author's Response:
Thank you, and I'm sorry!! Writing this made me sad and angry as well. I'm glad you empathize with Brian, though, and I really appreciate your kind words. Don't worry, I'm definitely going to see this thing through! Especially after an event like this. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon, so I hope you enjoy it!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: April 04 2021 11:34 AM Title: Moving Forward
Wow, this was certainly a bombshell of a chapter but one that was necessary. I wonder if Elizabeth is going to try to woo him. I know she's more of a mother figure, however you commented earlier that she finds him attractive. Plus she's a master manipulator when she sees potential for a greater good and the circumstances are right. Perhaps in this case she believes Brian is better off with her, and when Allie took things too far she manipulated her out so she could swoop in.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! I agree, I think this was something that needed to happen.
As for Elizabeth, I'd say that she definitely views Brian as more of a surrogate son than a romantic interest. That's not to say she isn't attracted to him at all, but she's more concerned with giving him the type of love that he was cheated out of with his actual mother. Her flirty moments were meant to be teasing (equally directed at Brian and Allison). That isn't to say that she didn't engineer this situation for her own goals, though! She's like an overprotective mother, and she felt like Brian was getting hurt because of his relationship with Allison. That's not necessarily true, of course, but that's her thought process. Anyway, I hope you enjoy how it progresses!
-Pluto
Date: April 04 2021 9:07 AM Title: Moving Forward
I WAS gonna "Bruh" you again for the break up (mostly because similar to Brian I consider it stupid and selfish) but im not gonna give you the treatment twice!
Regardless, DANGIT ALLIE! as much as I understand the concept of them splitting up I still side with Brian 100%. Allie is the sole thing that's caused him to be happy in recent years, and instead of trying hard to work over their relationship issues (which by the way they've never actually done), Allie just straight up YEETS the relationship out the window because "BrIaN DoEsN't KnOw WhAt'S GoOd FoR HiM". Like, WHATAYAMEAN??! JESUS sometimes I get upset with this story. Mostly because I know that they're gonna end up together, but I DONT HAVE ANY MORE CHAPTERS TO READ RIGHT NOW, so for now they're split up.
I get the feeling we might be encountering some characters we've seen before since allie took her car and went away, or we might be encountering brand new ones!
I also liked the way Brian sort of scolded Elizabeth, in his own way. And let her know he's not stupid, and he knew she had something to do with his break up. (GOD I hate even writing about it)
Regardless, I'm interested to see how they will react to each other when being in the same space, and I'm also interested to see how long this break up will last.
Great writing as always I GUESS (I'm a firm believer that stories that make you upset and mad are stories well written)
Looking forward to the next chapter! Hopefully it'll be one of your quick updates ;)
P.S. if for some reason you're thinking about not having Allie and Brian end up together, it's your story so you can do as you please, but I'm taking back the community party invitation >:(
Author's Response:
I know what you mean!! Don't worry, I'm with you on taking Brian's side for the most part. This kind of stuff isn't fun to write, and I'm sure it isn't fun to read, but it seemed like the natural flow of events to me. I gotta go where the story takes me. I don't make the rules! Or, wait...
I'm also really sorry to hear that this story upsets you sometimes! I know how it feels to be really annoyed and frustrated with a story, and I really really hope it isn't detracting from the story for you. I promise it won't stay bad for super long! And I appreciate you saying that you see it as a sign of good writing. That's very nice of you to say.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy what happens next! The next chapter will probably be pretty surprising, so I hope it goes well. I'll try not to delay too long in getting it out!
And don't worry, I have no intention of permanently keeping them apart. You'll have to take that invitation from my cold, dead hands!!!
-Pluto
Date: April 02 2021 1:44 PM Title: Looking Forward
Welcome, thanks for your replies, and for agreeing with me on issues of consent, male victims of abuse and such and true equality.
Date: April 01 2021 9:39 PM Title: Crisis Response, Part 2
I look forward to future chapters. And a happy ending for everyone.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your continued reviews! I really appreciate your thoughts. I'll go through some of your points~
Yes, as you saw with these recent chapters, the idea of mutual enjoyment with sexual stuff definitely became an issue. Consent is crucial, and it has to go both ways. Allison forgot this, and it turned out horribly. I also agree that sexual assault against men needs to be acknowledged more, and Brian definitely is really fortunate to have Allison and Elizabeth in his life.
You're completely, absolutely right about therapy! This is actually going to come up in the next couple chapters, so I hope you'll find it interesting. The reason it hasn't come up for Brian yet is definitely due to the secrecy aspect. Even though he could really benefit from it, they don't want to let another person in on the secret. After all, a therapist might feel compelled to notify the authorities if they learn that a crime has been committed. Also, they would need to convince the therapist that Brian is innocent, which would be tough. But, now that they're trying to prove his innocence to the world, he might finally be able to get the help he needs. So don't worry, I'm definitely aware!
This is also true for Allison. This is actually what Elizabeth meant during her scolding, when she said "there must be some things that you need to work through right now, and that's okay! You can do that, and I can help you find the resources." And unlike with Brian, there's nothing stopping her from seeking it out. So yes, you're totally right that therapy is tremendously helpful for people who have been through traumatic experiences, and it will be coming up in the story soon. I really appreciate you pointing this out!
Lastly, I'm glad you're looking forward to what comes next! I really hope you enjoy it, as well as how it ultimately ends.
-Pluto
Date: April 01 2021 8:55 PM Title: Crisis Response, Part 1
Also, I can't understate how aweome Elizabeth was in this chapter, I wish I had a woman like her in my life.
Date: April 01 2021 8:54 PM Title: Crisis Response, Part 1
I forgot to mention in my last comment that Allie probably would need therapy too, she herself was in a shitty relationship and then became a murderer for 6 monthes..That's a fucked up sentence even for me to type, Jesus..
Also, I forgot to mention my concern for either of them having STI's or STD's from getting raped, (if indeed Allie was raped, I know you haven't gone into her past that deeply yet). Being raped, especially in prison would make me want to check Brian for any sexually transmittable illnesses.
Date: April 01 2021 8:38 PM Title: A Crisis
(I finally remembered to comment this, damn, my memory sucks. I digress). I'm genuinely surprised that the idea of Brian being tortured, psycholocially and physically abused and raped and him not needing therapy has been mentioned yet. Frankly I was surprised that it didn't happen when Allie first rescued him. Maybe its just my own experience, but anything remotely close to any of the multiple traumatic experiences Brian found himself in seemed grounds for immediate therapy sessions, or at least steps towards therapy and recovery. (I know, I know, within the realm of the story not a lot of doctors if any, would see him), but my concern remains the same. PTSD, depression, and existential crises require some sort of therapy... Take it from me.
Date: April 01 2021 7:59 PM Title: A Birthday Party
Yep, officially jealous of Brian. Other thsn that I want him and his sister to reunite and have a happy reunion. His mom can get bent for all I care...and yet, my personal experience makes me wonder if Brian's mom wasn't abused herself. The cycle of violence is a very real and dangerous phenomenon.
Date: April 01 2021 7:43 PM Title: A Great Idea
I appreciate you incorporating the idea that women can be abusers just as men can, unfortunately a lot of people, especially online, don't think men can be victimized by women, and that brand of sexism hits me especially hard. I thank you for shedding a light on the subject, true equality contains both the good and the bad.
I'm glad Brian has strong, positive female role models he can put his trust in. I envy that about him. I wish everyone could be as fortunate.
Date: April 01 2021 7:24 PM Title: A Reconciliation
I'm glad this chapter brought up the topic of sexuality, it had been an underlying concern of mine between Brian and Allie. My concern was that the relationship would be one sided in the sense that Allie got off to Brian but not the other way around. I know asexuality exists, and I'm confident there is a reason for it biologically(my theory is evolutionary population control, I digress). At the same time, as a heterosexual person myself I prefer that happiness, sexual or otherwise, to be as mutual as possible. Arousal and sexual gratification are just a few more things to enjoy about life, and I'd wish everyone could at least experience them if they wanted to, given a choice.
Suffice to say, reality isn't ideal. Still, if consenting adults can enjoy something I can't, more mower to them.
Date: April 01 2021 1:43 PM Title: Looking Forward
Welcome, thanks for the replies.
Date: March 31 2021 8:17 PM Title: Revelations
I like that Brian's sister was really close with him emotionally. I hate the stereotype of of siblings not getting along.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the reviews, and I'm glad you're enjoying the sequel so far! I agree with your first review, it's terrible to think about going through what Brian has gone through. I'm happy that he isn't able to confront me, since he'd probably beat me up for writing him such a difficult life.
I also know what you mean about Elizabeth! That's the trouble with fictional characters- they're fictional. But oh well, there are plenty of wonderful people in real life, too. We just have to find them.
Lastly, I agree with you about sibling relationships! There are plenty of bad sibling relationships on this site, so I wanted to do something a little different. I hope you continue to enjoy their dynamic in future chapters!
-Pluto
Date: March 31 2021 6:40 PM Title: The Big Reveal
Is Elizabeth spoken for? Why is it that all the women I like are fictional? Fuck.. This fetish is really bittersweet sometimes.
Date: March 31 2021 6:22 PM Title: The Big Decision
I honestly don't think I would have lasted as long as Brian has if I was in his place..I don't thik I could emotionally last one nught in prison.
Date: March 30 2021 2:32 PM Title: Crisis Response, Part 2
Oh look at you, earning an full on invitation to the community party! You little goofball!
Very well written chapter! I was sort of heartbroken at first with Alllies initial decision given Brian's amnesia, but when the end of the chapter came I legit threw a large smile on. I can't wait to see how Allie behaves in following chapters, given the fact that now she'll have to actually think before doing something.. But, she got her scolding from Elizabeth so I'm back to loving Allie just as much as I love Brian!
As for my previous review that talked about filler chapters, if im being honest I think that I was just kind of hoping that Brian would get his memoreis back relatively soon and that we wouldn't go on 5 chapters with a Brian who doesn't remember, but seeing as you ended this chapter the way you did, I had no reason to worry after all!
See you at the community party if that ever happens woop woop!
Keep up the great work!
Author's Response:
Excellent!! Thank you very much for the invite. Remember, no take-backsies!
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope you enjoy how it affects their development moving forward!
I see now what you mean about filler chapters, and I'm glad that you're not worried about it anymore! Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of super drawn out amnesia events. I felt like it was a good event for this story, but only as a short-lived thing. My focus is on how this will change the characters moving forward.
Thanks again for reading!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: March 30 2021 12:14 PM Title: Crisis Response, Part 2
I'm overjoyed to say that regardless of how much I dislike amnesia sub-plots, you somehow managed to pull through. I was a bit frustrated at first, but I legitimately nearly shed a tear or two at the end of this chapter. I'm just a hopeless romantic ( or just a big baby) what can I say? I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and I am glad this sub-plot didn't drag. Keep up the good work! Goodspeed.
Author's Response:
I'm really happy to hear that! Like I said, I didn't want the amnesia to be a long thing either, so I'm glad you felt like it didn't drag.
Surprisingly, I also got a bit emotional when writing the ending. I'm glad that the emotion came through for you as well. And hey, hopeless romantics/big babies unite! We have to just own it.
Anyway, thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy how the story progresses.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: March 30 2021 11:40 AM Title: Crisis Response, Part 2
Well done! Also, two days? That's crazy!
Author's Response:
Thanks much! And I know!! Two days is five less than it should be, but oh well. Do what we gotta do.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: March 29 2021 2:47 AM Title: Crisis Response, Part 1
This chapter gave me mixed feelings. On one hand, Allie got rightfully scolded and now she can finally start working on moving past the fallout of her past relationship. On the other hand, Brian has amnesia and has to work through it. If I'm being honest, prolonged amnesia in story telling is one of my petpeeves it has never worked for me (I often find it frustrating, and it personally makes reading feel like a slog). The amnesia arc in this story isn't too bad so far, but I just hope that it doesn't drag on for much longer (or derail the plot). I know that its personal preference but I hope it gets better because I hold this story in fairly high esteem. As always, godspeed.
Author's Response:
I totally get where you're coming from about the amnesia, and I actually feel somewhat similarly. That's why I never intended for this to be an entire arc, more so a story event. I actualy intended Brian's amnesia run to last only one chapter, but then it got too long and I had to split it up a bit. So, hopefully it doesn't across as prolonged, and I really hope it doesn't detract from the story. I'm truly honored to hear that you hold this story in high esteem, so I certainly don't want to let you down. I hope you'll enjoy what happens next, and let me know what you think!
-Pluto