==I apologize in advance for the rant that follows==

 

OK so I read your story and felt I must leave a review. Luckily I read the other reviews prior to posting mine.

Don't get all upset with DXM because you quote unquote "rushed" your story. Now personally I understand writing a rough draft of a story and "rushing" through it, but I can't understand why you would put anything up as "finished" when you yourself admit that you half @$$ed it.

Then when someone calls you on it you get defensive, and "coming from you I don't care" what the heck does that mean? Go read "Less Than Nothing" or "A Moneymaking Opportunity" then may be you'll have a little respect for other writers.

And furthermore I have read your other stories sir, and they show no more promise than this one that you supposedly "rushed". So I suggest you be a little more open to advice and a little less snippy with those trying to assist you in bettering your writing.

Now that the rant is over my advice to you is this.

1. Go here: http://www.giantessworld.net/viewpage.php?page=guide  read everything on that page it will make your stories a million times better. Trust me.

2. Go here: http://www.giantessworld.net/viewpage.php?page=jdguide if the first link didn't make your stories a million times better this will make up for it.

3. USE SPELL CHECK! If you happen to have Microsoft word (which comes with most windows computers) it has a grammar/spelling checker built right in. I'm sure Macs have the equivalent if you're not a windows person.  

Both of the links above are writing guides found right here on giantessworld.net if you really want your stories to be all they can be then follow my advice, and seriously don't rush art if you have a story idea let it have a life of its own or you'll wind up with 6 paragraphs of plotless words that wind up getting terrible reviews and no stars.

I sincerely hope this helps.

 

-Tinyonej

Good story line.
Poorly written.

I have to agree with DXM. Even your response was like that old nursery rhyme: "One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight." Etc., etc.