[Report This]Date: May 28 2025 5:27 AM Title: Inside the Depths of a Tormented Macrophile’s Mind: Act I: Young Blood
Hey LBP, been a while.
Contrary to the comment below mine, I believe Chapter 1 is quite peak, in fact, probably one of the best chapters you've written on this site. Some of the pop culture references you include are neat little period-appropriate references hehe and most of the times a reflection of your characters' mind, so, what they're thinking about. I'm afraid the set-up in Chapter 1 had me quite excited, not gonna lie.
Maybe a bit too excited because I feel like Chapter 2 in the contrary was a bit more of a slow burn. It was by no means a terrible chapter but I just felt like the nightmare sequence was a bit too much and could have trimmed down a little bit. Like, I want to get to the action with the unaware Isabella and tinies, already.
Character development and exposition is definitely important but I feel like the sequence in Chapter 2 could have been shortened a little or you could have made this long nightmare a recurring thing instead.
Looking forward to what you have in store, next.
Author's Response:
Hi there :)
Thanks for noticing the pop culture references. The universe that this story takes place in is basically identical to the readers/ ours which is why put references to Joker and AFL that line up with the appropriate time period. Mentioning Mckenna Grace, one of my favourite celebrities was fun to do as well and I do have a cameo appearance with her later on in the story.
The dream sequence was actually supposed to be one chapter but it became too long which why I split in into 4 parts which is why there is the Act 1, Act 2, Act 3, Act 4 to avoid the issue with the 120,0000 word chapter of Antopia where people told me they kept losing where they were reading off from. All acts have been already written and I will be releasing slowly over the next several weeks.
There are actually 2 other nightmare sequences and one cute cuddly dream sequence with his first crush Charlotte that will be released that I have already written and will become relevant later on in the real life pub sequence of story which Anura will be drawing from from his dreams as you will see which is why it will become somewhat recurring. The dream sequences will be just as exciting as the pub sequence. I have actually planned this story out from start to finish and have a range of pub interactions as well.
Character development for Anura will be detailed to be honest since this character is basically me. I inserted myself in my story lol.
Divya will be making an appearance later on in the story as well
If you want early access to the next chapters weeks or months in advance you can buy me a coffee for just $5 AUD on Kofi. I would really appreciate it. :)