Date: December 21 2024 4:40 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Erased (Mina)
two chapters have come to past, which means its time i leave my comments again...
Chapter 8 and 9 are very fun chapters even though without much gts content, i think this is still great as youre preparing us readers for something big in the near future.
now for chapter 8... all i have to say is that i do not trust layla AT ALL, and youved written her like that for reasons which will only become clear on the upcoming chapters, i mean, shes very anonymous and doesnt want to speak up too much, im keeping a close eye on her if were still going slow by the next chapters because i cant get a read on her, maybe im just thinking too much and she actually is just a normal person... suffice it to say, im very invested by this section of the story now
for chapter 9 though... it left me confused for the first time, but then i realized that mina is ithyrminah.... jacob i cannot full heatedly trust you any one bit now, i think what hes doing is insane.... and with what we saw on the ??? chapter, this could only end badly for everyone.
i think this second part gets better and better as you slowed down the pace and risen the tension, the only thing thats missing is to have ryan and mimi/lucy back... because i kinda miss them both and tbh i just wanna see if mimi's "yandere" issues got even worse since its been a long time our two main characters havent seen each other.
im flip flopping topics now but i kinda want to talk about the fanwork, since im getting pretty intrested in ideas involving gts and genderswap now even more so due to the ??? chapter.... and what would happen if a man was actually able to consume the shard of genesis and not turn into a pile of sludge or something worse... guess ill keep brainstorming about it since there looks to be plenty of time before the second part ends!
thats all for now. thank you for the chapters!
Author's Response:
Thank you for your comment.
Glad that Mina's identity wasn't too confusing, due to the nature of how I structured the chapters, we do keep jumping around between characters and storylines so it may need some getting used to when chapter 9 is a direct continuation of chapter 7(her new name as Mina was also teased in chapter 7 if you noticed). I don't want to overexplain things too much because I do get that bad habit sometimes, but I do place relevant pieces of information and foreshadowing throughout the entire story so that most things won't seem like it comes out of nowhere. In the future chapters you will see that not all aspects of the plot get explicitly explained, but can be deduced by the end of the story after the fact(you can always ask me questions about the plot after the ending and I'll be happy to answer them). Hopefully I still do a good job of portraying the story in spite of that.
As for the pacing, as mentioned in my replies to other comments, it will start picking back up very very soon. So please look forward to that. I know you are very eager to see part 1 characters like Lucy and Mimi again, hopefully they will make an appearance soon. But I also do have to give the part 2 characters some love too, the cast of this story has grown far bigger than I initially envisioned but I still want to do everyone justice if I can.
Once again, thanks for your continued support and I'm looking forward to your fanwork in the future!