[Report This]Date: October 07 2024 3:35 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
great story! very well written. looking forwards to see what else you come up with
Author's Response:
Thank you! I have some ideas in mind, both for this story and new ones but I'll need more time to work it out. :)
[Report This]Date: September 27 2024 10:13 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
Aww, I love this story. It's so cute and heartwarming... I can't help but sympathize with all of the characters. That's not something every story achieves.
The only point of criticism I can think of is that the stakes don't feel as high as they should be at this point in the story. Like, earlier it was genuinely upsetting to see Alice's heart being broken, which creates narrative tension-- Jordan wants to reassure her, to let her know it's him, but can't for fear of dooming himself. But that has been resolved now that the truth is mostly out. The main point of tension remaining is that Emily is now keeping our little guy captive, but it's not like there's any real danger that she'll hurt him or anything, nor is there a time constraint or anything of that nature. It feels like an inevitability that he'll be rescued, because what could really go wrong at this point?
Still, I look forward to the next chapters! It's been a really riveting read so far. I genuinely find myself rooting for a pleasant ending for all of these kids, even Emily.
Author's Response:
Thanks a lot, that's high praise! I'm glad all the characters can make you feel something for them, I was hoping they wouldn't be one-dimensional or unrelatable.
And you're right, at this point of the current story there's just a few more things to work out. I figured that since Jordan had already been through so much after shrinking, I did want to eventually aim for that happy ending and tie up loose ends instead of throwing him into more hopeless situations one after another just stretch out the story. While I did want to add narrative tension and drama, especially at the start, it's also a gentle coming-of-age story about two people finding each other through a weird situation. At least, that's what I had in mind for this first story. If you have any suggestions how I could have done it differently or added something, I'd love to hear it and I always appreciate constructive criticism! It'll definitely help out with my writing for future scenarios.
[Report This]Date: September 25 2024 12:37 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
Just found this story and I'm having a ton of fun!
I like how it's a mixture of a normal sized person being shrunken and a naturally tiny people story, the story takes it's time but once it picks up it's non-stop fun size shenanigans, I also like the lore and charcters, lot of care put into them.
My favorite aspect might be an unxepected one, I love how Jordan doesnt just shrink, he flat out transforms into a tiny, that's a very cool and underrated concept, I also adore how he can't reveal his identity or speak and no one recognizes him as a human, I don't even know why I like this so much, but it's a very inetresting dynamic few size stories go for.
Excited to see where this goes.
Author's Response:
Thanks a lot, it's my first real shot at writing a story so I'm happy people are enjoying it!
And yeah, I wanted the shrinking to have a transformation aspect to it too to keep things a bit more interesting. If I didn't, then the story wouldn't have worked out the way I wanted it to (Alice would have just recognized him right away and the story would take a very different turn), glad to hear you're liking that dynamic :)
[Report This]Date: September 24 2024 1:55 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
Just want to say that this is an excellent story. Also want to thank you for the consistency of the updates. Thank you!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much, that means a lot! I'm glad you're enjoying the story :) I have most of it done so I can afford to throw out daily updates.
[Report This]Date: September 22 2024 9:56 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
This is great so far! Rarely can I find a story with unaware identity as a theme. Hope to see more!
Author's Response:
Thanks a lot, appreciate it! I guess unaware identity is pretty rare to find here, so I'm glad some people are enjoying this.
[Report This]Date: September 22 2024 10:32 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
Just wanted to say that im very love the story so far. I rarly find some good 'fluff'/Unaware/Gentle/Romace stories. Cant wait for more interaction with Alice. Thank you:)
Author's Response:
Glad to hear you're enjoying the story, thanks so much! Unaware (of presence or identity) is my favorite kind of scenario so that's definitely something I wanted to put in.
Date: September 20 2024 12:27 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
I really like the premise of this story and i'm excited to see where it goes! Thank you for sharing.
Author's Response:
Thanks a lot! Happy to hear people are enjoying my first attempt at a story.
[Report This]Date: September 14 2024 2:28 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Family
It's nice that you are posting your first story after lurking for a while kind of like me. Interesting premise and excited to see what happens next
Author's Response: Thanks a lot, I appreciate it! I really enjoyed reading Antopia, it's rare that we get stories with shrunken people interacting with bugs. It actually did help me think of this story I wanted to create, though with tiny folk.