[Report This]Date: January 30 2024 9:10 PM Title: Chapter 13 - The Boards are Set, The Pieces are in Place
Prurient. Sometimes I get the feeling you just make up words and the universe corrects itself to give this random sequence of letters the exact meaning you require of them.
Pusillanimous. Ok, no, that one's made up, fuck off.
Seeing Olivia stop Aidra from rescuing Tara stung deep. If I were an English teacher, and thank God I'm not, I'd say that's a real good use of dramatic irony.
I'll just echo It Was Me and say that your characters and plot are both engaging enough that the occasional transitional chapter in this over-the-top, sexy-as-fuck, extravagantly smutty roller coaster of a story is still very entertaining, and it ends with the promise of tickling Titty so I'm satisfied for now. A slow, deliberate buildup leads to much greater release, so no harm done with a more functional chapter here and there (and really it's only mundane in comparison to the insane highs this story has and likely will continue to take).
I'll admit, truth serum interrogation doesn't sound that like a very fun game, but Kim seems to be enjoying herself, so that's good (and tinies bathing in other people's beverages is always good).
Author's Response:
The opening to this review was hilarious, and I laughed my ass off for several minutes. I cannot apologize for my unhealthy productive connection with the Thesaurus, as I honestly am too attached to mean it. Prurient is a fantastic word, and I couldn't help but use it. As for pusillanimous, well, I see it used short-hand quite often when someone accuses another of being a pussy. Surprisingly enough, the etymology behind that insult suggests it did NOT originate as a comparison to the female reproductive system, despite how language and understanding have evolved.
I'm glad the build-up is appropriately building tension, and tugging at heart strings. Here's hoping I can finish my edits for the next chapter tomorrow and get it posted, so we can move things along. I intended to get it up last weekend, but when my sister and her family showed up unannounced on my doorstep Friday night, I wasn't going to tell her, "Sorry, I can't host this weekend, I have smut to write."
Thanks for hanging in there, even as things move away from sexy-happy-fun-times on the more clandestine front. I hope the actual sexy-happy-fun-times can be a balm as we deal with Stella's backstory coming to light.
[Report This]Date: January 25 2024 2:32 AM Title: Chapter 13 - The Boards are Set, The Pieces are in Place
The phonetic alphabet is fun. That authorization code makes a lot of sense in particular, as, based on what we learned about her in Turnabout Livy really is a glutton for punishment.
Speaking of that, I mentioned last chapter how Claire and Titty were going to be beating themselves up later after they find out what's happening to Tara, and you turned that shit to 11 by adding Olivia to the mix as well. She may end up feeling even worse than either of the other two, which is ironic because she's the only one out of that trio that didn't make a decision that inadvertently put the one-inch goth in this situation. Yet she'll still feel tremendous guilt over not letting Aidra stop the whole thing then and there, as well as for putting off checking Aidra's reports, which I'm guessing would have made the reality of the situation pretty clear. Of course, Livy had every reason to believe it was just a mistake by Aidra, as she truly thought every person in the building was accounted for. I don't think that's going to matter to her much when the time comes, though.
By the way, between that and Claire's assumptions as to why Stella isn't able to stay still, this chapter did a masterful job of building tension around Tara's struggle without even mentioning her or showing Stella's perspective once. The ignorance of Livy and Claire's perspectives was so frustrating (which I want to clarify is a good thing) and I find myself legitimately caring and worrying about what's going to happen to Tara, someone we've seen mentioned in only two chapters so far. I'm really impressed by that.
And despite neither this story or Turnabout having a particularly dark tone (which the latter very easily could have, but didn't), this story has been written in a way that I'm don't feel like it's a sure thing that the mini-goth is going to come out of this alive. That uncertainty gives this story a nice sense of tension.
I still think Aidra might save the day for Tara by the end of things, as some of those things that Livy was trying to keep out of the sexbot might end up doing more good than harm. I could also see Stella telling on herself in this uninhibited state, but that's not a given either.
Seeing Kim uninhibited was refreshing. Up until now, and I think I've said this a lot, she has been a paragon of control without being controlling. Even in this chapter, up until she took a dip in Stella's drink, it felt like Kim was comfortable and politely assertive, even though she's sharing the room with two strangers, one of which she has been told is likely a terrible person. There's a certain grace about her, and to see her go from that to just blurting out whatever's on her mind feels like we're peeling back that layer of elegance and seeing a fun sort of bluntness from her. I really enjoy that, and I hope we get to see a bit more of that, even if Stella's game obviously takes precedence.
Claire and Kim are also really cute interacting with each other. Kim is inquisitive and mature enough that Claire can take her seriously but has just enough of that silly, video game mentality to break past that cold professor exterior and let Claire show her softer side a little bit. And, in turn, Kim is relaxed enough around Claire, even after such a short amount of time, that she feels comfortable showing that silly side of her. This is especially nice to see after the emotional drama she dealt with last chapter.
Stella's game sounds really interesting. I'm curious to see where it goes. I'm guessing that, since she's going to be compelled to talk about each person by the concoction, Stella isn't going to actually going to improve her size based on how she answers. And I think we know who at least one of those pictures is going to be of ...
I think that's the first thing I've seen actually phase Titty. Great planning by Team Tiny. She's expected sexy fun time and gets tickled instead. I just hope Richard holds on to whatever part of her ear that he can, because that head is going to be moving.
Speaking for myself, I didn't mind all the set-up at all. In fact, I just kind of enjoy reading about these characters in general. Also, while there was no smut, you did have a shrunken woman take a dip in someone's drink, so you get points for that at least.
Author's Response:
Thanks again for leaving such an in-depth review! I fully picture Olivia as the kind of person who wants to give her units machine learning the least chance of failure, particularly when trying to log in as an administrator, so the phonetics seemed to make the most sense. This was also a callback to Chapter 7 of Turnabout, when Livy let the bot off her leash. I felt it was appropriately ironic she was using it to apply a leash to her creation as Aidra tried to save someone.
I have a feeling that there will be a lot of questions, doubts, and soul searching going around once the bets are in and all hands have been played. Livy perhaps most of all. Hopefully all the players are still at the table, but we'll see for sure by the end.
I'm glad to hear that the tension is there. I'll try not to let it sit there for too long, but I don't expect it to break for several more chapters. I'm happy to hear you're invested in Tara. Like you said, she's been very peripheral to the story, but those people are in the worst place (or best place, from a certain point of view) to be a victim of collateral damage.
I was hoping the juice bottles and gummies in Tara's second scene would be enough of a callback to her first scene to not only refresh who she is and make her relevant, but also keep her relatable enough that readers would overlook the creepier aspect of her voyeurism.
I'm glad to hear you still have faith that Aidra may be a positive factor in events to come. The robot overlords always prefer to be interpreted as benevolent. As for Stella telling on herself, well, I can promise that will be happening a lot in this next chapter. Whether that involves her new toy, well...
I also enjoyed Kim letting her wilder side out. I love her cool, calm, and collected, always the responsible counterpart to Jen, but she's a gamer at heart. Claire has been the Fab Four's most reserved member, and I feel like Kim has felt a kinship there, especially since Claire offered assistance after the blowup with Jen.
Now the question is, how will team cool, calm, and collected handle the mysterious curveball that is Stella's past and present.
I'm glad the game seems interesting. I went through a few iterations that were too bulky, too convoluted, or too off-topic, but I think this maintains the façade of a game well enough, with a clear progression and apparent change in outcome/reward depending on performance. Still, at its core it's chemical-enhanced interrogation, and I had no idea how well that would fly with readers. I hope the results are... palatable. I admit, I'm curious whose picture you're expecting to see. Your comment brought two options to mind, the first being Victoria Vane, and the other the student who allegedly was pushed to commit suicide.
Hahaha, I wanted to throw Titty her own curve ball, and decided the tickle torture would be a solid narrative parallel to compare and contrast the interrogation and the random act of tiny abuse occurring in the locked room.
I'm glad the chapter was still engaging. I just wanted to make it clear up front not to expect Titty's punishment to be played out quite yet. I had fully intended to include that in this chapter, and suspected I had given that impression, but maintaining the parallels was ballooning this chapter something aweful. I wanted people to get to the end wanting to see what came next, not cursing me for delaying sweet satisfaction for another chapter.
As always, thanks again for the review. Being so close to the story, it's hard to get in the head of the audience, but this review made me feel about 300% better about the execution of this chapter. Look forward to the next chapter this weekend!