Date: January 03 2024 11:44 AM Title: Chapter 12 - Naughty Girls Need a Firm Hand
Such a wonderful book. I regret not reading it earlier. I'm so curious to see what happens next!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story, and even more so for taking the time to leave a review! It's a great feeling to receive feedback from readers, and it makes me all the more excited to post the next chapter!
If you haven't already, I would suggest checking out the prequel story Turnabout is Fair Play, which takes place a couple months before Small Investments. Both stories are linked to the Fab Four series on this site.
Date: January 03 2024 4:01 AM Title: Chapter 12 - Naughty Girls Need a Firm Hand
You know, at the start of this chapter I started to form a bit of a conspiracy theory about Stella, and by the end of it, I've become thoroughly convinced that I'm right on this.
In short, I think Victoria sent Stella there knowing that she would do something bad and that she would get caught doing it.
In long (no one ever says this, but it should work as an opposite for in short, right? RIGHT?!), Stella's situation struck me as odd from the start. It just didn't make sense to me that someone who wasn't good enough to be selected for one internship would be given such a massive assignment (one obviously very important to Victoria) in order to prove that she deserved a different internship with that same company. But I figured suspension of disbelief, don't take works of fiction too seriously, blah blah blah, and I kind of wrote it off and just went with it.
Once Stella started interacting with Tara and we saw how far the would-be intern is willing to go just for "leverage" (it seems like it was really more for fun than anything else), I started to wonder if maybe Victoria had anticipated that Stella would do something like what she did to the poor goth (I'm not saying the elder Vane predicted that she would do that specifically, but she probably anticipated that the college girl would try something along those lines).
Claire revealing that not only does Stella have a criminal background and other shady features to her past but that she received this information FROM Victoria all but confirmed, at least in my mind, my budding theory.
Now, why would Victoria send someone if she assumed/anticipated that she would do something so vile? I think it's a case of hitting not one, not the usual two, but three birds with one stone:
1. It'll probably scare off the other investors. I mean, despite all the fun they're having now, if they find out that Stella used the potential product to shrink and rape a girl, in an area that was supposed to be completely supervised no less, I have a hard time seeing them want to be a part of something that could turn out so badly.
Thus, Victoria would be the ONLY investor, which obviously would give her more say in how things are run going forward.
2. It'll make the Fab Four second-guess everything they thought about the shrinking solution. Seeing the abuse of their product first-hand, and, again, under their own supervision, is probably going to at least make them question their current business model. Hell, they might feel so guilty that they don't want to be involved in the future of the shrinking solution whatsoever, which, again, would likely lead to Victoria having complete control of said future.
3. I really think Victoria has something personal against Stella. The fact that Ms. Vane outted Stella to the Fab Four and wants them to do something that just sounds borderline-ethical (although probably not too bad, given how soft-hearted the group is) makes me rethink that earlier scene where Stella was admiring everything on the private jet. She thought it was Victoria showing her what she could have if she joined the company, when I'm now pretty sure it was a huge middle finger, showing her what she'll never have.
Maybe Victoria was close to the person who killed herself because of Stella's bullying (I could see her trying to bring in the kid of one her rivals down the road; that's a hell of a power move). Or perhaps Victoria just despises bullies like Stella. I don't know, but I feel pretty comfortable saying that there's something more there.
As for Stella herself, I was just saying last chapter how Chae-Won was starting to look like the villain of the story, but the would-be intern had the proverbial "hold my beer" moment here. Damn! That girl is dark. And it wasn't just her terrible actions that sold that point, she was straight-up despicable when she owned the narrative. From her relishing in Tara's desperation to the way she quickly started thinking of the goth girl as an it rather than a she, the way Stella enjoys using people as though their mere possessions that exist only for her pleasure is the stuff great villains are made of!
Unfortunately for her, though, I don't think she has really thought any of this through. She wants to eat Tara? She doesn't even know how growing back works yet, and how is she so sure that a tiny's enhanced durability won't survive her digestive tract? Come to think of it, didn't Claire say that those crystals only last for 15 minutes, and wasn't Stella in the bathroom for, oh, about 15 minutes? Stella had better be careful, or things could get ... messy for her really soon.
As for the other big development in this chapter, man, you (and Terry) really nailed Jen and Kim in this chapter! I mentioned in my last review that I didn't think that crazy shrunken sex alone was going to be enough to bring the together like it did Ronnie and Dick, but I think this fight has actually moved them pretty significantly in that direction, even if it doesn't seem like it now.
I now feel like I have a much better understanding of where Jen is at in all of this. Yeah, what she said was really hurtful, even if not intentionally so, but she clearly needed to put that stuff out there, and the absurdity of the situation just caused her to start spewing it all out. This was confirmation for me that Jen feels the same way about Kim that Kid does about her; the only difference is that Kim knows how she feels and Jen doesn't fully understand her feelings.
Jen's rant started off as a simple comment about how much more exciting this sex was than their usual fair, but it turned into an airing of grievances. Subconsciously, Jen is frustrated with how things have gone in the bedroom with Kim; she wants more, but she doesn't realize it yet. I think her quest for her family's acceptance has left her with cock on the brain, so her love for Kim is buried so deep that Jen isn't consciously aware of it.
But that love is there, and, on some level, she know Kim is perfect for her. Except in bed. She doesn't like the vanilla routine the have, and that frustrates her to no end. What's worse, she doesn't even know she's frustrated, because she's not consciously thinking of Kim as a partner. So that frustration is also buried deep, only now manifesting itself unintentionally though Jen's rant.
Ultimately, this is a good thing, however, as Kim made clear that she also wants more in the bedroom. She was just afraid that trying new things would scare Jen away, that her younger friend took comfort in their routine. Ironically, she thought she was giving Jen what she wanted but was really pushing her away. Now that it's out there, they can move past it.
But Jen's not quite there yet. She knew she hurt Kim, I she doesn't yet understand why she did it. And now she's trying to move on in her own way, focusing on ravaging a kaiju succubus and blaming Kim for not being there with her to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (although, let's be honest, if they were willing to fly out again, Titty would be down to do this again pretty much anytime). I have a feeling that Jen isn't going to enjoy her time in the now nearly as much as she thinks she is.
And as for Kim not taking advantage of said opportunity, I don't think she'll regret it at all. Unlike Jen, she knows exactly what she wants and doesn't need to experiment around. That's why she was okay with their routine. It doesn't matter to her what she does nearly as much as who she's doing it with. This is why Jen's words about this new experience hit so hard, they emphasized everyone else involved but Kim. Between that and Jen making sex with her sound like a chore, it makes perfect sense that Kim feels like a pet (and this is a pretty powerful metaphor, given the aura of control that Kim has exuded up to this point; it really shows how much Jen means to her).
But I think Jen is finally on the cusp of understanding this for herself, and from there, it's only a matter of convincing Kim that she feels the same way.
There's a lot of really interesting arcs in this story (and they've been really well paced and balanced out so far), but this Kim and Jen one has really stolen the show for me.
Let me also echo Terry's review by saying that your descriptions of one-inch Dick's view of the world were really on the mark. You conveyed his scale so well both in physical terms and in how he was perceiving everything around him. Not only was this really well done, but the more drastic size difference plays especially well against the larger tiny sizes that we've seen so far.
It was really interesting to compare Claire's "nothing can go wrong" speech with Livy's from last chapter. It's amazing the hubris of not being worried at all over the prospect of a known criminal and suspected bad person abusing the shrinking gummies she intentionally left out despite the fact that she was all over Livy about every little thing that could go wrong with Aidra. She's so worried about someone else making a critical mistake that she can't even consider that something she didn't anticipate could (and, in fact, did) happen. I still don't know what's going to happen with Aidra (or whether it will be a good or bad thing), but I feel pretty safe in saying that Claire will feel so much worse about the cost of her mistake than Livy will for Aidra's actions, even if they do turn out to lead to something terrible (which, again, I'm not necessarily convinced they will).
I don't want to come down too hard on Claire, though. I still really enjoy her character, and her considerate nature toward Kim was really endearing. And I get that she needed some confirmation that Stella was as bad as Victoria says she is (I wouldn't just take the elder Vane's word for it, either). It's just unfortunate that a simple lack of communication and a bit of hubris have led to such terrible consequences.
Also, I can't imagine any of the other three members of the Fab Four are going to be too thrilled to find out that Titty invited Tara there in the first place. I mean, based on the only other time we saw Tara, it was made pretty clear that they were trying to keep the shrinking solution a secret from the goth girl. Yeah, Claire shouldn't have used such a careless test, but Titty never should have had Tara there, either.
And lastly (I know, this is ridiculously long, right?), I just wanted to note that it was clever to have Tara's piercings not shrink with her. It makes perfect sense, but I never would have thought of that, and it took me by surprise. Good thing tinies heal fast!
Author's Response:
Thank you so, so much for continuing to not only read this story, but to give your insights as well. Between you and Terry, I get better feedback than I could have afforded from a beta reader. The reactions to descriptions and events is a massive boon, and then you go one step further and share your working theories about what's coming next. You've both mentioned that the stoey has been well-paced, and no small part of that has been a result of the fantastic feedback I've been getting about what you expect to happen next, and what you suspect is going on in the background. So again, thank you for spoiling me.
Great catch that not everything with Stella was as it was initially presented. I am ecstatic to know this work is supporting conspiracy theory crafting. You've seen by now that Stella is no simple internship candidate, but as to what exactly Victoria had planned for the girl, well, I'm sure we'll find supporting evidence for several potential outcomes.
Stella herself is definitely a schemer, seemingly with the constant goals of power, pleasure, and self-edification. As for whether Stella has a plan in mind, I can assure you she does. Is it a good, well-thought-out plan? Well... at least she has her looks and her parent's money.
I want to touch briefly on your comment about the booster crystals, because I'm concerned I did a poor job of thoroughly explaining them. Each crystal consumed functions additively, effectively adding +15 minutes of smol time to someone already shrunk, as if they had taken a larger up-front dose of the shrinking solution. Or, if a big eats 4 or more crystals, then they have the minimum one hour dose required to be shrunk, and will be tiny for the total sum duration. Also, if it was not clear, if the booster is for a smaller strain of the serum than the tiny is currently, that smaller strain will take priority, so if a six inch tiny has half an hour left at six inches, and takes a four inch booster, they'll quickly shrink to four inches for the next fifteen minutes, and then go back to being six inches for the next half hour past that. Given that the gummy that Tara ate was completely coated in booster crystals, she may be on her way to setting an in-universe record for longest time spent tiny. Hmmm, I should probably recap that in the next chapter.
I'm so, so glad Jen and Kim's big blow up played out as well as it did. Another huge thanks to Terry for how this turned out. Those two had too much existing structure to their relationship for it to change without tearing down the percieved walls and roles they both had, especially Jen who was so focused on a goal she believes she wants that she's failing to account for her true emotions. One of the things I particularly liked about this section, which you touched on above, is how the interplay of emotions and expectations upset the physical power balance between tiny Jen and giantess or amazonian Kim. It's not something that is absent from other gentle stories, but I don't feel like it's typically called so clearly to the forefront of the story. For Kim and Jen, the power of their emotions is everything that has kept them in proximity, but has failed to allow them to really be together. Damn, I'm really looking forward to advancing their halves of this schsim.
I'm really glad to hear the descriptions from the teeny tiny's perspective landed. At that scale (roughly 64:1) every action on the part of the normal humans is so exxagerated to the tiny, getting the descriptions right is like trying to surf on a wave of hyperbole - it needs to be grandiose and beyond real human experience, but grounded enough to be relateable to the reader, and kept to just this side of being truly hyperbolic.
As for Claire's experiment, well... she's only human. I really want to portray each of the fab four as truly exceptional in their own way, be that in their exceptional intelligence and programming skills, or their ability to read and manipulate people (even to the point of changing their biological scale), or perhaps their capacity for acceptance and dedication to bringing joy, even if they have to craft the means by hand. For Claire, I want her to excel at helping others achieve their true potential. She's rigid and clinical in her approach, but she has a great mind for catching potential pitfalls. But as with so many others, pride cometh before the fall, and her success may blind her from time to time to variables beyond her control.
Lastly, never feel like you've gone on for too long. Descriptions in short are a boon, but descriptions in long, in detail, or in full are a treasure most precious. Thank you again for your continued support!
Date: January 01 2024 7:59 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Naughty Girls Need a Firm Hand
For starters, kudos on effectively managing so many moving parts within a single chapter. Everything is segmented and paced really well here, cutting to and from the many different scenes and characters at the perfect times for the perfect durations.
Fucking Stella. Fuck. She's reached the point every good unlikeable character reaches for me where she has become so hateable that I fall in love. This chapter does a great job in painting her as utterly despicable, both through her actions and the narration during her segments, while maintaining her as realistically evil (she doesn't come off as a cartoon character, even with how fucked up some her alleged and seeable crimes are). The introduction of her cruelty in this otherwise gentle story has really spiced things up in a way I'd normally be wary towards, but from everything I've read from you so far, I know I can trust whatever direction you're heading in will be a good one.
Man, for a minute you had me believing Claire was playing 4D chess leaving out those shrinking sugar crystals for Stella to take only to reveal she's playing goddamn checkers by not knowing Tara was in the bathroom (or at least not accounting for her). So, from Claire's insanely risky play here, Titty making an opening in the frosted glass with her honkers, and Olivia ensuring Aidra is capable of not not becoming Skynet, I think Melissa is the only one of the Fab Four that has yet to do something to potentially lead to the group's catastrophic downfall (unless I'm forgetting something).
Now you have me questioning all of Victoria's whole everything, knowing now that she is actively trying to screw over Stella. It has me wondering if her various acts of sabotage are all an act, but with my current understanding of things, that seems farfetched. I'm very curious to see how this dynamic plays out and what twists you have in store.
I think you did great with Kim and Jen this chapter. Kim's reaction feels much more deserved now, and Jen's rant was a punch straight to the gut. (Paraphrasing:) "Normally sex with you is sterile as hell, but not today, today with you has been great because of everybody but you." Goddamn. Cutting out half of Jen's listing off steps to replace it with descriptions of how she's listing them off was really clever. It gives the reader the impression that Kim isn't listening to the words, that she doesn't have to, because she's focused on the intent behind them, and how Jen's body language is hurting her because its showing her true thoughts. There were some really hard hitting lines throughout that section, and I had to step up and walk away to think quite a few times this chapter.
What we get from Dick's initial reaction to being shrunk is incredible. It was so vivid, the idea of Titty essentially existing on another plane of existence she's so big to him, I'm jealous of how well you sold her scale through words alone. It was like I was looking at artwork displaying it. Speaking of jealous, kudos on making me feel bitter envy towards a fictional character (specifically Dick, specifically when he opened his eyes to see the giantess stepping on him while sucking off the tit of the taller giantess with titaness Titty squirming in the background. Phuck!)
As an addendum to my last review: I went back to prior chapters and realized my error in visualizing the space. When the adult store is first shown, there's a scene where Olivia walks into a heavily locked backroom to find Titty testing out her tentacles. This takes place days before the actual presentation, but in my head I had gone forward with the assumption that the backroom was were the demonstration was being held when a chapter or two later clearly describes it taking place in the main room. That's my bad, I have a bad habit of filling in blanks with assumption when there wasn't a blank there in the first place. And in regards to Chae-won peering in, I hadn't put together that the imprint Titty's titties left literally created the opening for her to look through. As I alluded to before, I think it's really clever how the Fab Four are responsible for the cascading failures that I'm getting more and more sure are awaiting them in the future.
Author's Response:
It means a lot to read your praise. Balancing so many moving parts has been a fulfilling challenge, and I'm constantly balanced on the edge between thrilled at my success and terrified that I've neglected someone or over-emphasized another and thrown the pacing to shambles.
Fucking Stella. I echo that sentiment. She's been in shadows for so much of the story (Victoria's, Elise's, the Fab Four's) that I'm glad to finally let her off the chain and show you what she's all about. That she's landing well is a huge relief. And thank you for trusting me with where I'm going with this character. Just remember that things are often darkest before the dawn.
Claire is a very intelligent woman, but she is not a schemer. She still hasn't figured out how to get into Titania's pants (and if it somehow isn't clear by now, it's really not that hard). No, Claire is taking the scientific approach. She was presented a hypothesis that Stella is "evil," and she has to test it. Initial results are positive, so she's going to proceed with more targeted tests, so she can draw a conclusion. Her error, along with most of the others, is an inaccurate assumption of the scope of their control. And as for Melissa not having made a mistake, well... As far as I'm concerned, she has contributed the greatest benefit and greatest potential harm of them all. She's the one who opened Pandora's Box, and made the shrinking solution a reality.
Questioning Victoria is an excellent idea. I seriously hope readers are still questioning Victoria's motivations (in a good way) years after this story is concluded. If anyone is playing 4D chess in this story, it is Victoria Vane.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your help with Jen and Kim's section. I was legitimately floundering in conflicting thoughts over how to deliver this section in a way that was authentic and genuine to the characters. You helped get me out of that mental morass, and guided me to the path forward. (I realized while reading your review that I completely forgot to give you a shoutout for your contribution this chapter, and that has since been rectified. Seriously, thank you!)
This section is the leading edge of why I absolutely love multi-size scenarios. You get the best of so many worlds, with differing levels of interaction and agency for the various players, depending on who is interacting with whom at any given time. I'm glad the descriptions landed well. I'm always concerned about going over the top, but if there was any time for my adjectives to go big or go home, this was it. (And you're not the only one jealous of our boy Richard. Lucky little bastard, *grumble grumble*)
Again, thank you so much for the feedback, and fon't feel bad if you call me out for a mistake I didn't quite make. You're not the only one who might have missed that key detail, and it shows me where I might do better in the future by further emphasizing important details in the moment, or recalling prior events to help the reader stay engaged. If someone is willing to take the time to give me feedback - be it glowing praise or a roast of titanic proportions - then I can't help but value every word in these reviews.
If I haven't said it enough yet, thank you again for reading and reviewing, and I wish you and yours a Happy New Year!