Reviewer: TerryLarka Signed [Report This]
Date: October 07 2023 5:32 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Seduced by the Succubus

Also, I forgot to mention how great Kim was this chapter. I haven't had much interest in her up to this point, but it was awesome seeing her be so possessive of Jen. I think getting more of Jen's perspective and quirkiness last chapter helped set up a satisfying payoff in this one, and it will be interesting to see how they're relationship progresses from here (I mean, short term it's probably a bunch more sexy stuff, but you get what I mean).

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: October 07 2023 4:27 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Seduced by the Succubus

Well that got a little intense!

Since Turnabout, it seems like you've found a way to put a unique spin on every smut scene you describe, and this was no different. From start to finish, these three did things that I've read before, but all of it felt new and different. From the various ways you found to incorporated Titty's tongue (I figured you had some ideas given the unique way she had it modified) to Jen acknowledging the dual heartbeats surrounding her when Titty used her titular body part to sandwich her into Kim's own tits, there's just so much creativity and poetry worked into your descriptions here. It really made this chapter stand out!

I've been saying that Ronnie is my favorite of the new characters for awhile now, but Kim is making a run at her. These last few chapters have made her a lot more interesting to me, even when more attention has been spent on other characters. So for the chapter to start from her perspective, especially given how the last one ended, was something I particularly enjoyed.

And seeing things from Kim's eyes was certainly illuminating. She pretty much confirmed a lot of what has already been hinted at, such as her feelings for Jen and that Jen's family is the big hang-up from them really being together. I did find it interesting just how excited Kim was to have tiny Jen to herself for an hour, with her emphasis being on the time. Kim knows that this experience isn't going to solve her problem with Jen; Jen's traditional family is still going to keep them from having the relationship Kim really wants. But Kim doesn't care about that in the moment. She's determined to enjoy what she knows could be a once-in-a-lifetime and maybe even life-altering experience with the woman she loves, even if things have to go back to the way they were afterward. That's a really intense love, pining after someone you can't have so much that you'll take anything you can get. It's kind of sad, but really beautiful at the same time.

Also, I guess it should have been obvious, but I didn't really give a lot of thought to how frustrating it must be for Kim to see Jen going out with guy after guy who isn't right for her while she hangs out in the background and provides casual sex on occasion. I like that she let that frustration out here and even moreso that she did it to Titty instead of Jen. It was an part of an emotional, yet just a tad controlled outburst that Titty drew out of her (more on that in a second) but not something that I think she would ever throw at Jen herself. As much as she doesn't like it, Kim understands Jen's situation, and I think that between her feelings for Jen and her own mature, controlled demeanor, she would never throw said situation in Jen's face like that. It was only her possessive nature toward Jen that brought that out of her.

Also, all of that stuff made me see Kim's comments about Jen dating that Scott dude when we first met them in a whole new light.

Titty obviously wasn't aware of the situation between Kim and Jen, but it looks like she picked up on something during their "battle" last chapter. I think Titty's teasing about keeping Jen for herself wasn't just to get Kim and/or revved up but also to get the exact reaction she got out of Kim. The succubus could feel some tension there and moved to draw it out, which she did beautifully. It was great to see Kim be so aggressive about Jen, something that's a bit uncharacteristic of her normal behavior (although said behavior was expressed in a very Kim way), but it was equally great to see Titty know just what buttons to push to get Kim, who's normally measured in everything she does, to flash some of her true feelings. It makes me appreciate Titty more, and it indirectly backs me theory that Titty acts the way she does around Claire because she knows EXACTLY how the uptight professor feels about her (indirect in that this shows how perceptive Titty is toward people in general).

I love that Claire had to bow out because Titty was making her too hot. That it was so extreme that Kim was actually worried that she was sick or something really sold the description well. And this not only helped us peal back another layer of that professorial façade we keep talking about, but it also continued to convey Claire's attraction to Titty specifically, something that's been sprinkled in with a fair degree of subtleness here and there throughout the story (and by that I mean it's not too hard to tell but not being made insultingly obvious at the same time). I've been pretty intrigued by Claire since chapter one, so it's nice to see her development being handled so well, even when she's not a major focus of the chapter.

I did have a question about the backend of the chapter. Did we get a slight time jump between those last two segments? We went from Kim eating out Titty to Titty eating out Kim with Jen. But the way that last segment starts, I got the impression that Jen had just gotten unsandwiched from between the two pussies, then lapped back up by Titty right after, which doesn't fit with the end of the previous segment, where Titty had Kim making good use of her tongue. Then I thought maybe they were 69'ing, which would line things up, except that the way Titty propped her body for Kim (knee-walled and pussy-on-face) takes that possibility away, too.

So did it just take that long for Jen to recover, or am I missing something here? Not a huge deal, but I was just a little confused and was hoping for some clarification.

This chapter may have been difficult to write, but I feel like you nailed it overall (even despite my confusion above)!  And I'm super intrigued to see what happens when Kim and Jen reverse roles.

Author's Response:

Thabks so much for the response!  I'm so, so glad to hear the nuances to these characters are coing across in a way that keeps them interesting!

I'm glad to hear Kim is coming across well.  She's been so quietly supportive of Jen, for such a long time, that this is her chance to truly stake a claim on Jen that cannot be denied.  Even if it's only temporary, Kim can feel like she finally, finally got a win here.  It's not a solution, but its a stepping stone to maybe becoming more.  As far as Jen's concerned, if nothing else comes of this endeavor, that chance alone has made the whole thing worthwhile.

As to your confusion, that likely has to do with me throwing a lot of complicated stage direction in a couple of paragraphs and not describing them well.  Directly quoted from the chapter:

Titty pulled away, and slid off the bed.  Kim was at a loss, especially as Jen stumbled away from her and fell down, seemingly dizzy.  Kim didn't have long to wonder what was happening before Titty clambered onto the head of the bed, and pushed Kim's shoulders flat on the mattress.  She knee-walked over Kim's head, and sat her dripping pussy on Kim's face.

"Fucking lick me Kim!  Get me the fuck off, and I'll make sure little Jenny and I fucking do the same for you!  Now make me cum!"

Kim didn't argue.  Her mouth went straight to work.

So, several things happen here quite quickly.  They go from a tribbing or scissoring position, to Titty holling completely off the bed, which surprises Kim.  Then we have a sticky, dazed Jen stumble away from Kim's crotch. 

Swapping back to Titty, she moves to the head of the bed, and climbs on.  With Kim laying down, that puts Titty right at Kim's head. 

Titty pushes Kim down, and knee-walks over her face.  She tells Kim to eat her out, and says she's going to do the same, but using Jen.  

Then I swap PoV to Jen, who is between Kim's legs, recovering.  Titty and Kim are behind her, with Titty sitting on Kim's face, and facing her.  I skip the stage direction where Titty leans forward into the full 69, and go straight to Titty plucking Jen up with her tongue, and shoving her into Kim's pussy from above.

I tried to streamline the description to limit how jarring the impending PoV would be, but I suppose I should spend more time on what is effectively a scene transition.

Again, thank you so much for your continued support.  Reading these reviews is both helpful for my approach, and incredibly motivating.  In probably going to put off sleep for another hour and do some editing on a Claire scene I've been working on, which should come through in a few chapters.  Thanks again!